


The Class 1-A Crackshot Chat

by Sharpman



Category: Overwatch (Video Game), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: A CRAP TON OF TAGS I'M DONE!, Adopted Eri (My Hero Academia), Apologies if you were looking for those earlier!, BakuCamie endgame, Bakugou Katsuki Swears A Lot, Crack, Cute Eri (My Hero Academia), Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Gen, Good Parent Midoriya Hisashi, Good Parent Midoriya Inko, Hanzo and Genji are Izuku's uncles, It's so non-canon it hurts!, IzuOchaLissa endgame, KamiJirou endgame, KiriMina endgame, Kirishima Eijirou is a Good Friend, M/M, Midoriya Izuku is a Dork, Overwatch characters referenced, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Parental Yagi Toshinori | All Might, References to anime, Shinsou Hitoshi Replaces Mineta Minoru, Slice of Life, Some pairings are temporary, Things are a bit nuts, references to cartoons, references to comics, todomomo endgame - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:46:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 51,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25231846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharpman/pseuds/Sharpman
Summary: I moved my Chatfic Slice of Life chapters and moved 'em here! So, now all Chatfic updates will move here! You wanna see a wacky extended Midoriya family? Shenanigans? Miruko being Miruko? Here's your shot.
Relationships: Ashido Mina/Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugo Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou (Temporary), Genji Shimada & Hanzo Shimada, Genji Shimada/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, Hatsume Mei/Iida Tenya, Hinted, Jesse McCree/Hanzo Shimada, Jirou Kyouka/Kaminari Denki, KamiJirouMomo (Temporary), Kendou Itsuka/Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu, Kodai Yui/Shinsou Hitoshi, Melissa Shield/Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Hisashi/Midoriya Inko, Midoriya Izuku & Genji Shimada, Midoriya Izuku & Hanzo Shimada, Midoriya Izuku/Melissa Shield, Midoriya Izuku/Melissa Shield/Uraraka Ochako, Midoriya Izuku/Uraraka Ochako, Monoma Neito/Tsunotori Pony, Sero Hanta/Shiozaki Ibara, Takami Keigo | Hawks/Usagiyama Rumi | Miruko, Todoroki Shouto/Yaoyorozu Momo, implied
Comments: 213
Kudos: 262





	1. Welcome to the Chat! Prepare to go nuts!

**Author's Note:**

> Chat Names:  
> Izuku - Link.  
> Ochako - Zelda/Kirby.  
> Tenya - Sonic.  
> Bakugo - Demo Man.  
> Kirishima - Knuckles.  
> Mina - Rouge/Butt Stallion/Amy Rose.  
> Kaminari - Pichu.  
> Jirou - Noivern.  
> Shoto - Rhonin/Donald Duck.  
> Momo - Jaina.  
> Kouda - Rexxar.  
> Shoji - Tentacool.  
> Aoyama - Shiny Meowth.  
> Sero - PhilSwift (I'm not creative).  
> Tokoyami - Honchcrow.  
> Tsuyu: Slippy.  
> Satou - Guts Man.  
> Tooru - Cream.  
> Ojiro - Tails.  
> Mineta - Waluigi.

**Tenya Iida has created Group Chat: Class 1-A Bonding!**

**Tenya Iida has invited Momo Yaoyorozu to Chat**

**Tenya Iida has given Admin powers to Momo Yaoyorozu**

**Momo Yaoyorozu has invited 17 members**

Chat is Active:

Denki: Sweet! A chat room for all of us? Time to get my memes on!

Izuku: This is cool! Wait why do this Iida?

**Tenya has given Admin powers to Izuku**

Katsuki: Hey! Why does the fucking nerd get Admin stuff?

Tenya: Because Midoriya is a responsible student and I trust his judgement. Besides, he was a class rep before stepping down. This feels appropriate.

Izuku: Iida. I love you like a brother I never had, but, you know me!

Tenya: Nonsense! In class, you're responsible! I trust you implicitly here.

Denki: I get the feeling you'll regret that in about 5 minutes.

Momo: So, I invited everyone in our class to the chat.

Denki: We're missing Mineta, Mo.

Momo: So, I invited _everyone_ in our class to the chat.

Sero: Momo, just put Mineta in! We get he's a perv, but he's also part of class too!

Momo: ...

Shoto: Huh, you actually typed an ellipses.

Kyoka: Do we really need to put that guy here?

Tooru: Yeah! The guy's a creeper! He tried to steal my underwear once!

Rikido: Why would you have that? You're invisible!

Mashirao: Don't speak to her like that! She has a right to her clothing.

Tooru: Thanks, sweetie!

Mashirao: No problem, babe.

Mina: Wait a second are you both?

Denki: Yes! I can't meme without my partner in crime!

Tenya: Kaminari! We're heroes in training! We cannot be breaking the law under any circumstances!

Izuku: He wasn't being literal, Iida.

Ochako: Izuku, I'm sitting right next to you, don't

 **Izuku has invited Minoru Mineta to the chat**!

Katsuki: Ya see Four Eyes? Now we got the purple puss bag here.

Minoru: I'm just happy someone is being nice to me.

Eijiro: Okay, is everyone here? Good! Time to spice things up!

Mina: Hold on! _@Mashirao_! _@Tooru_! How long have you two been dating?

Tooru: Couple of days now.

Mashirao: Offered to walk with her to a store. Turned into a date. Things just rolled on from there.

Ochako: That's so sweet!

Mina: Ochako, you better step up your game girl!

Izuku: Hey! That's a good idea for the naming theme!

Mina: Midori, that's not what I meant.

Ochako: Shut up, Mina. Deku's got a good idea. Hopefully to offset his dumb one earlier.

Izuku: I was being inclusive!

Minoru: Thanks man! I promise to only be nice.

Mezo: Why? You never keep yer mouth shut about lewd crap.

Minoru: Easy. Bakugo's room is next to mine. And I don't wanna die.

Katsuki: Well, ain't you bein' smart for once.

Tenya: Anyways. Midoriya, what did you have in mind?

Izuku: Our group chat names. They can be video game characters?

Shoto: Never played any games before. But, if it's for the chat, sure.

Momo: How have you not played ANY games?

Shoto: Live with my father and you'll know.

Izuku: Todoroki we talked about this.

Ochako: Yeah! We're all your friends!

Katsuki: I'm not!

Izuku: Everyone but Kacchan are your friends.

Shoto: Appreciated.

Tenya: So, Midoriya. What names should the classmates receive?

Izuku: I got this!

 **Izuku changed Izuku's name to Link**.

 **Link changed Ochako's name to Zelda**.

 **Link changed Tenya's name to Sonic**.

Sonic: ...Slightly disappointed, but, it fits.

Zelda: What name would you want? Quick Man?

 **Izuku changed Katsuki's name to Demo Man**.

Demo Man: The fuck is dis?

Link: Play Team Fortress 2. It was either that or Junkrat.

Demo Man: Do I even wanna know?

Link: Crazed guy with bombs. Well both are but, Demo Man has an Axe or Sword for melee.

Demo Man: Just looked. A Black, Scottish Cyclops with grenade launchers and chugs beer like a champ? Okay, I'll take it over the thin, freak missing an arm.

 **Link changed Mina's name to Rouge**.

Rouge: Who's Rouge again?

 **Link changed Eijiro's name to Knuckles**.

Knuckles: Oh yeah! I love this guy!

Demo Man: Fits you love the dumbass in red.

Knuckles: Wait? He's dumb?

Demo Man: Have you not seen how many times that egg shaped robo guy tricks his ass into helping him? Not counting the comics.

Knuckles: ...Oh...Can I get a name change?

Demo Man: Too late, yer stuck with it.

 **Link changed Denki's name to Pichu**.

Pichu: Oh, come on! I deserve to be Raichu at this point.

Kyoka: HA!

 **Link changed Kyoka's name to Noivern**.

Noivern: I love you!

Pichu: Wow! That wasn't even subtle! Ohmygod! She's blush

Zelda: What happened?

Noivern: Jacks in his eyes.

 **Link changed Tokoyami's name to Honchkrow**.

Honchkrow: Midoriya, seriously? That's so banal.

Tsuyu: You don't like it?

Honchkrow: This and Murkrow are way too low brow a joke for my name.

Tsuyu: To be fair, it's a surprise from Midoriya.

 **Link changed Tsuyu's name to Slippy**.

Slippy: Enemy shield analyzed. Jokes on him, I like Slippy.

Link: I know you like Slippy. He's funny.

Slippy: ///

Honchkrow: Are you blushing in chat?

 **Link changed Mezo's name to Tentacool**.

Tentacool: I accept this.

 **Link changed Aoyama's name to Shiny Meowth**.

Shiny Meowth: Magnifique. My favorite!

 **Link changed Rikido's name to Guts Man**.

Guts Man: Dah nahhhhh!

Pichu: Wha?

Guts Man: Look up Guts Man's ass.

Pichu: Oooooh. HA!

Zelda: Didn't expect a meme outta ya, Satou-kun.

Guts Man: Hey, I got my moments. Speaking of which...What's yours supposed to be? Zelda?

Zelda: Princess Zelda.

Rouge: So...Link's usual girlfriend?

Zelda: Deku-kun change my name before I yeet myself into orbit now!

 **Link changed Zelda's name to Kirby**.

Kirby: On second thought...

Link: I'm not doing it three times!

Kirby: Okay, okay.

Rouge: Oooh, trouble in paradise~!

 **Link changed Rouge's name to Butt Stallion**.

Butt Stallion: What the hell?!

Demo Man: HA! Okay, you get one pass today, nerd!

Butt Stallion: The hell is a Butt Stallion.

Demo Man: It's from Borderlands 2. Ya see her in a DLC campaign. It's also a gag character during the story mode. She's a Pony made of literal diamonds.

Butt Stallion: That doesn't seem too bad...for a dumb sounding name for a Horse.

Demo Man: That farts guns.

Butt Stallion: Ewwwwww! The hell, Midori! Change my name! That's not cool!

 **Link changed Butt Stallion's name to Amy Rose**.

Link: Tease Uraraka again, I'll change it to something worse.

Amy Rose: Roger that, sir.

 **Link changed Shoto's name to Rhonin**.

Rhonin: I don't get it.

 **Link changed Momo's name to Jaina**.

Jaina: I know this character. But, I don't use Ice Magic.

Rhonin: Wait, 'Jaina' uses Ice?

Jaina: Yes, Jaina is a Mage from a franchise called World of Warcraft. Technically, as an NPC she uses all three school of Mage magic. But, most other games

Jaina: Give her just Frost Magic.

Rhonin: And who's Rhonin?

Jaina: Another Mage. She's Jaina's predecessor.

Rhonin: So, Mages use what?

Jaina: Ice, Fire and Arcane.

Rhonin: Oh. Can I switch with Momo?

Jaina: What?

Rhonin: Jaina uses Ice Magic primarily. I dislike Fire Quirks...Do the math.

 **Link changed Rhonin's name to Donald Duck**.

Donald Duck: Isn't Donald Duck a Disney character?

Link: Kingdom Hearts Donald Duck.

Donald Duck: Oh...He's got both too.

Link: Yeah, but he's blue colored.

Donald Duck: True. I'll deal with it.

 **Link changed Kouda's name to Rexxar**.

Rexxar: (quirks eye brow in confusion).

Noivern: Even in a chat you won't talk?

Rexxar: (Shakes head no).

Link: Understandable.

Noivern: Who's Rexxar anyway?

Link: I had to research that one. Rexxar is a 'Mok'Nathol' (probably misspelled the name). Half Orc. Half Ogre. He's a Beastmaster Hunter. He tames all sorts of animals.

Rexxar: (Points at his bunny rabbit).

Link: Rabbits aren't really combat pets for guys like him, but you CAN get rabbit pets in the game.

Rexxar: (Smiles).

Noivern: So bright.

Sero: So who's left? I know I'm missing something. Actually...

 **Sero changed Sero's name to PhilSwift**.

Link: Huh, better than my original idea. It was gonna be Mummymon.

PhilSwift: The Digimon?

Link: Yeah...He shoots out his wrappings like your tape. And I think he's in some games.

PhilSwift: Well, I picked this one and I'm sticking to it.

Demo Man: I thought only Four Eyes, Ponytail and Deku had Admin rights?

PhilSwift: You didn't lock out our name changing options.

Link: Sero, why tell him that? He'll just change it now.

Demo Man: I said I'll take it, dammit. I've seen some vids on him. Fuckin' awesome guns...

Minoru: Can I get a name change?

Tooru: Me too!

Mashirao: Same here man! Serve us up!

 **Link changed Minoru's name to Waluigi**.

Waluigi: Dude, how could ya man?! You brought me in to slap me like that?!

Demo Man: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kirby: Deku...When we're done. Your room...

Noivern: Oh, I wanna thank you so much!

Pichu: Oh god! Mineta just got bitch slapped!

Sonic: Language!

Knuckles: Midori-Bro! I'm buying you a super manly thank you give man!

Amy Rose: Oh you magnificent FUCK!

Sonic: LANGUAGE PEOPLE!

Tooru: Pffftt!!! HA!

Sonic: Should I even ask who Waluigi is?

Demo Man: No! Trust us, Deku picked a fucking KILLER name for the purple shit lord!

Link: 

Sonic: Oh.

Honchkrow: What a mad bouquet of darkness. Iida's struggling to not laugh the common room.

Slippy: In the common room. Can confirm. Iida's struggling.

 **Link changed Tooru's name to Cream**.

 **Link changed Mashirao's name to Tails**.

Cream: The Rabbit? I know people say I'm cute but...no one can see me.

Tails: You named me after my Quirk?

Link: Tails and Cream are also paired a lot in the Sonic fandom.

Demo Man: So are Sonic and Shadow, but that's just weird.

Sonic: Wait...Who's Shadow?

Demo Man: How many Sonic games have you played?

Sonic: Up to Sonic Adventure.

Demo Man: Oh boy...Have you missed some SHIT!

Kirby: Yeah, Iida-kun! You missed the Advance games, Sonic Adventure 2, Heroes!

Link: Wait, how have YOU played them Uraraka?

Kirby: Youtube videos.

Link: Fair enough. I got a Gamecube so Iida can play some of my copies of SA2 and Heroes.

Sonic: If it's not a bother...

Jaina: May I join you, Iida? I've never seen Sonic Adventure 2.

Donald Duck:

Jaina: What? Todoroki, would you like to join too?

Donald Duck: No it's just this imagery I have of seeing Mineta in this 'Waluigi' attire that becomes hilarious.

Jaina: Mustache included?

Donald Duck: Yes.

Slippy: Aaaand Iida's actually busting his gut. Nice one.

Honchkrow: I don't I've ever seen him laugh so hard before.

Kirby: I have back at the Heroes VS Villains Exercise. When he did that over the top Villain persona.

Slippy: Wow! He just stopped and turned red in the face when you said that.

Sonic: That was a persona of a villain! Only truly evil villains monologue their dastardly plans!

Link: No they don't! That's only in cheesy cartoons like Rocky & Bullwinkle or 60s Batman cartoons.

Demo Man: Don't diss Batman.

Link: I'm not a fan of brooding, vengeful types.

Kirby: Okay, what's your favorite hero?

Demo Man: All Might! Deku's always been a fan of the 'boy scout' types.

Sonic: And yet, he's broke more rules than the 'boy scouts'.

Link: IIDA!

Donald Duck: To be fair, Midoriya. You have broken some rules.

Link: Hey, pot here's kettle!

Donald Duck:

Link: ...Oh crap I just remembered! Todoroki! I'm sorry! I forgot about what you told me about your burns! I wasn't trying to

Demo Man: Okay, that scream from Deku wasn't my fault, I'm at the Gym on the treadmill. What happened?

Jaina: Shoto just froze Midoriya whole!

Demo Man: HA!

Noivern: Who knew Midoriya had the lung capacity to scream that loud! Ow. My ears.

Tentacool: Not gonna lie, Midoriya went savage there with that one.

Rexxar: (shakes in fear).

Sonic: Todoroki! You do not encase our classmates in solid ice! His phone will break! He'll contract hypothermia!

Kirby: You prioritized Deku-kun's PHONE or Deku-kun?

Sonic: Apologies. Was thinking he'd be upset that his property would be damaged once Todoroki _melts him out_.

Jaina: That was surprisingly aggressive of Midoriya to throw that out there.

Pichu: I don't get it? What's the deal with Todoroki and kettles?

Slippy: Look at his face and think that question again.

Pichu:

Noivern: Oh god, you're thinking that hard?!

Pichu: Oh, burn scars...Wow. That's kind of out of left field for Midoriya to just cut into him like that.

Donald Duck: Indeed, but he wasn't wrong. Iida, Kirishima, Yaoyorozu and myself also broke rules. He wasn't the only one.

Demo Man: Wait. Is he talking about you shits rescuing me?

Sonic: Indeed. But, he may be referring to another incident involving myself and Todoroki.

Demo Man: The shit are you guys on about?

Donald Duck: Something private.

Demo Man: ...I'm so gonna bug the shit outta the nerd to find out what that's about, ya know.

Amy Rose: Oooh. Gossip? I want that tea.

Sonic: That's between Midoriya, Todoroki and I. Also, the Hosu Police Department.

Shiny Meowth: Don quoi?

Donald Duck: I'm thawing him out now. He looks uncomfortable.

Pichu: No! Leave him in there for a few more minutes. Then when we thaw him out, we can say he's in the future!

Kirby: ...Why?

Pichu: We can say we're the children of all of his class mates!

Demo Man: That won't work! You'd have to really be dumb ta believe HalfnHalf would have a kid that looks EXACTLY like him to the exact detail and scarring.

Donald Duck: Yes. Also, Midoriya's still aware and glaring at me. I'm unfreezing him now.

Pichu: Damn.

Knuckles: Dude. Not cool. Midoriya's been uber nice to all of us.

Demo Man: Yeah, as much as I give shit to the fucking nerd, he's too nice for his own good.

Link: Bite. Me. Kacchan!

Demo Man: !

Guts Man: Whoa! That's new!

Link: My phone was in front of me when I got frozen. I could READ THE CHAT!

Waluigi: You okay, Midoriya? You look all shook up.

Link: I'm going back to my room. I'm going to tuck myself in and WARM UP. Sorry about what I said Todoroki, but next time. JUST. SLAP THE BACK OF MY HEAD.

**Link has left the chat**

Demo Man: It's what I do when Deku's being dumb.

Donald Duck: I respect Midoriya's intellect too much to smack his head.

Demo Man: Ya never heard of a dope slap before?

**Kirby has left the chat**

Amy Rose: Uraraka just ran off to Midoriya's room!

Amy Rose: Oh right! Girls to Midoriya's room! We must give thanks!

**Amy Rose has left the chat**

Noivern: On it!

**Noivern has left the chat**

Jaina: He did say we could borrow his Gamecube. I'll go grab it and bring it to the common room.

**Jaina has left the chat**

Sonic: I shall get the refreshments!

Donald Duck: I'll get a hot pack for Midoriya.

Demo Man: Haaah. I'll call All Might and Auntie Inko.

Donald Duck: So, he IS All Might's love child!

Demo Man: No, he's not! All Might helps tutor him on his Quirk. I'm calling Auntie Inko because she's good at handling Deku's colds.

Donald Duck: I still say he is.

Demo Man: Get a hobby, HalfnHalf.

Donald Duck: Theories are my hobbies.

Demo Man: You're the love child of a fiery asshole.

Donald Duck: Don't remind me.

**Donald Duck has left the chat**

**Demo Man has left the chat**

Cream: So...I'll see what the girls are doing in

Tails: Babe?

Cream: Tell Todoroki that Midoriya's not gonna need a hot pack.

Tails: Bit late for it but...why?

Cream: After Momo took the Gamecube and games, Uraraka, Ashido and Jirou all crawled into Midoriya's bed and cuddled up to him.

Pichu: I'm sorry WHAT?!

Knuckles: Dude! So manly!

PhilSwift: Isn't Mina your girlfriend?

Knuckles: No, me and Bakugo are a thing man.

PhilSwift: Wait, seriously?

Rexxar: (snickers).

**Rexxar has left the chat**

Tentacool: Well, I'm off to bed. Take care.

**Tentacool has left the chat**

Pichu: I can't believe Jirou has had a thing for Midoriya.

Guts Man: And Mina too. Didn't expect that.

Cream: Guys! Only Midoriya and Uraraka are under the covers. And they're all fully clothed.

Tails: Oh thank mercy. Wait...What are Mina and Jirou doing there then?

Cream: Mina just gave Deku a kiss on the forehead and laid down ABOVE the sheets behind him, brushing his hair. Ochako's cuddling up to him under the sheets in his arms.

Pichu: AND JIROU?!

Cream: Singing a lullaby on his chair. It's really cute.

Cream: 

Pichu: Oh...Oh thank heaven.

Waluigi: Why does Midoriya get all the babes? What do I gotta do to get some action?!

Guts Man: Not be a perv?

Tails: Not be a--Damn, you beat me to it, Satou.

Guts Man: Gotta be faster than that, Tails.

Tails: I hate this nickname.

**Tails has left the chat**

Pichu: What's it gotta take for Jirou to look at me like that?

Waluigi: I got some ideas...

Pichu: Yeah right! She'd murder me if I went with any of YOUR ideas, Mineta.

Pichu: Maybe I can just ask her out on a date?

Guts Man: Good idea. I got some ideas for ya for possible eating spots.

Pichu: Really?

Guts Man: Yup! I think Jirou would appreciate it that you're looking out for her.

Pichu: Dude! Thanks!

**Guts Man has left the chat**

**Pichu has left the chat**

Waluigi: Why can't any girl like me?

Cream: Because you're a depraved jerk! I'm still confused why Midoriya brought you in here.

Waluigi: Maybe cuz he knows I'm just a guy?

Slippy: You've been perving out on the girls since we all came here. No one becomes a Hero to get laid.

Waluigi: Well excuse me for being a NORMAL person.

Slippy: Normal people don't comment on everyone's boobs every twelve seconds.

Cream: Yeah! Midoriya's a good boy! He only has 1 girlfriend.

Waluigi: Then why is Mina cuddling up to him from behind! They're a threesome and you can't change my mind.

Cream: W-Well...

Slippy: Well, he's probably got a point. Mina does seem rather content fondling Midoriya-chan's hair. And Ochako doesn't mind her.

Waluigi: Jirou's in there too, serenading all of them! It's a FOURSOME!

Cream: Midoriya's fully asleep right now! They ain't even doing anything pervy!

Waluigi: You're spying on them naked. Hypocrite.

Cream:

**Cream has left the chat**

Slippy: This went no where, good night to anyone left.

Shiny Meowth: Bonne Nuit.

**Slippy has left the chat**

**Shiny Meowth has left the chat**

Waluigi: This class is gonna be the death of me.

**All remaining users have left the chat**


	2. Never touch Deku's stuff...EVER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mineta's expulsion, Bakugo's counseling...Because they did so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unfortunately...it's cuz they do a dumb!

**Mineta has entered the Class 1-A Chat**

**Mineta has invited ALL classmates except Link**

**Everyone except Link has entered the chat**

Demo Man: Grapes, you better have a good reason for inviting us. Also, why's your name normal? Wasn't Waluigi?

Mineta: I had Iida switch my name back. I didn't appreciate Midoriya's name.

Kirby: I found it fitting.

Amy Rose: Yeah! Babe's got some sweet taste in burns, sucka.

Kirby: Damn right! Wait what?!

Amy Rose: We're both dating Midori, right?

Kirby: I never said I was!

Noivern: Really? Cuz ya cuddled him really nice last night.

Kirby: HE WAS JUST THAWED OUT FROM TODOROKI!

Donald Duck: I need to apologize for that. But he did trigger me.

Amy Rose: I'm sure he wasn't referring to your past, IcyHot.

Donald Duck: I hate that nickname.

Demo Man: Would you prefer HalfnHalf Bastard?

Donald Duck: IcyHot it is.

Knuckles: Wow. Baku-bro's smirking like he just hit Number One Hero ranks.

Slippy: Doubtful. He's like Endeavor. All power, no chill.

Honchkrow: I approve that burn.

Donald Duck: Same.

Pichu: Can SOMEONE change my name? Also Jirou did you get that message I sent ya?

Noivern: Yeah. Sure, we can go out.

Guts Man: Knew it'd work.

Pichu: Thanks Satou!

Mineta: GUYS! I invited y'all because I have some serious shit on Deku we need to talk about!

Demo Man: Dude I've had shit with Deku for years. What's YOUR damage?

Mineta: HE'S BEEN SPYING ON US!!!

Sonic: Wait, what?

Jaina: I agree with Iida. What?

Mineta: Deku's got all these notebooks on us and our Quirks! Calls them his Hero's Notebooks for the Future!

Kirby: Mineta! How'd you get those? Those are Deku's notebooks! He just puts stuff on our Quirks in them.

Mineta: Oh really? Then why does it talk about your likes and dislikes in here?

Kirby: What? You're looking at MY pages?! You sneaky assmuncher!

Rexxar: O.o

Cream: Likes and Dislikes? Like a Profile? That's some detective or Police level stuff. Maybe Deku wanted to be a Policeman before choosing Hero?

Tails: Guy's got a good heart. Mineta, put it back.

Mineta: This books got dirt on ALL of us! Likes, dislikes, sexual preferences!

Demo Man:

Noivern:

Knuckles:

Tentacool: Dude, put it back! That's private shit!

Mineta: Dude's got stats on ALL of us. Holy crap! It says here Jirou's...GOD DAMMIT!

Noivern: Mineta, ya little fuck boi! If you type in what I hope you see there, I will rip your BALLS off! And not the ones on your head!

Pichu: I'm not liking where this is going.

Mineta: Jirou's got a boner for Momo!

Noivern: I will fucking MURDER YOU!

Jaina: Kyouka-chan?

Noivern:

**Noivern has left the chat**

Jaina: This is a lot to take in.

**Jaina has left the chat**

Demo Man: Grapist, put those books down!

Mineta: Why? Deku's got half a book on you and your Quirk. Nitroglycerin sweat. Hey! It says here your Mom has been calling Deku to check how you're doing!

Kirby: Bakugo's MOM?

Amy Rose: Why would she call Midori?

Mineta: *shrugs*

Demo Man: That bastard...No wonder the old hag's been on my ass about shit.

Sonic: Bakugo! You must never insult your mother!

Demo Man: Fuck off Four Eyes! What goes on between me and my old hag is my shit!

Shiny Meowth: Still ce n'est pas sparkling for you to act like that.

Demo Man: Blow it out yer laser butt, Frenchy.

**Shiny Meowth has left the chat**

Knuckles: Baku-Bro! Show some decency man!

Demo Man: FUCK OFF! DEKU'S SPYING ON ME FOR MY OLD HAG! GIMME THOSE BOOKS!

Rexxar: >.<

Sonic: I heard that explosion from the Student Council room, what just happened?!

Kirby: Bakugo just blew up ALL of Deku's notebooks!

Demo Man: It's his fault for being a damn nosy dumb ass.

Sonic: BAKUGO! THAT'S PRIVATE PROPERTY! YOU MUST REIMBURSE

**Sonic was removed from chat**

Donald Duck: Who did that?

Mineta: Me! Dude's a damn prude! But, Deku had notes saying he's been dating that Support Gear chick.

Kirby: Iida's dating Hatsume? Well that's a load off my back.

Amy Rose:

Kirby:

Amy Rose: We really need to talk about your issues with jealousy girl.

Kirby: I'm not jealous! Where do people keep getting that?

Amy Rose: Girl, just say you love him! For All Might's sake, it's driving everyone up the wall how deny IT.

Kirby: I'm NOT! And even if I was, we're studying to be Pro Heroes. We need to focus on our studies.

Amy Rose: Hasn't stopped me from being his girl!

Kirby: How often do you study? At all!

Cream: Girls! Girls! You're both in love with the green bean. Calm yourselves.

Slippy: Did the book have anything on anyone else?

Tails: Tsuyu! Seriously?

Slippy: What? I was curious.

Mineta: Dude's got an apparent measurement of your tongue length.

Slippy: That's it? He asked me about that a LONG time ago. It's not even that secret. I've told everyone about that.

Mineta: Did you know he found out Tokoyami has a crush on you?

Honchkrow: That...that was something to never see the light of day.

Slippy: Why? I like you too!

Honchkrow: Wait...Really?

Slippy: Yup. I was meaning to ask at some point before winter but...cold weather hates me.

Honchkrow: I can brew a mean cup of hot cocoa for you.

Slippy: Can you add peanut butter and marshmallows?

Honchkrow: I see you're a woman of intrigue and culture, my lady. I'll make some right now.

Slippy: Meet ya in the common room.

**Honchkrow and Slippy have left the chat**

Demo Man:

Amy Rose:

Kirby:

Pichu:

Jaina:

Donald Duck:

Rexxar: Well played.

Tentacool: The shit, Tokoyami! My boi's getting a girl!

Guts Man: Wait you two are pals?

Tentacool: We listen to similar music types and do the whole mysterious brooding shit.

Tails: Wasn't expecting that.

Cream: Me neither.

Knuckles: I'm happy for them.

Demo Man: Bitch, you're always happy.

Knuckles: You haven't known me before UA, dude.

Knuckles: I wasn't as manly as I am now.

Amy Rose: I think you were just fine back in middle school.

Knuckles: No I WASN'T! PAST ME SUCKED ASS.

Mineta: Doesn't present you suck Bakugo's ass?

Knuckles:

**Knuckles has left the chat**

Demo Man: YOU FUCKER! YOU MADE SHITTY HAIR CRY! I WILL END YOU!

Kirby: Yeah, that was mean, Mineta!

**Demo Man has invited Link to the chat**

Link: Hey guys what

Link:

Kirby: Deku?

Amy Rose: Midori? Sweetums?

Donald Duck: I'd like to point out I'm checking on him in his room. He's literally turning red.

Amy Rose: From what?!

Donald Duck: I think he just read the whole chat. Mineta. Bakugo. You may wish to write your last wills.

Pichu: Oh screw that noise! Deku's not gonna hurt classmates.

Link: Shut it you low tier phone charger!

Pichu: DUDE! WTF?!

Link: You guys read my books! That's private observational work! Do you have ANY idea how much time I put into that?

Kirby: Hey! I never did anything!

Link: Ochako, I love you very much but NOT NOW!

Kirby: Deku?!

Amy Rose: Babe!

Kirby: Okay, serious! Mina! Let's get to his room.

Amy Rose: NO SHIT! MOVE!

Jaina: Midoriya-kun! Calm down! Only Mineta read the book!

Mineta: SNITCHES GET STITCHES YA BIG TI

Demo Man: What just wrecked the grape? I see him flying across campus!

Jaina: Midoriya did that! Iida's going to get Aizawa and All Might.

Demo Man: Damn, the nerd's got range! When did

Rexxar: O.O

Tentacool: That is turning into your default emote today, huh.

Rexxar: *Nods*...Everything is crazy.

**Noivern has entered the chat**

Noivern: Where the fuck is that green shit!

Donald Duck: Jirou's back. Why are you angry at Midoriya?

Noivern: How did he KNOW I have feelings for Yaomomo?!

Pichu: How long have you been interested in her?!

Noivern: Since the USJ. But, I like you too!

Pichu: O.O

Tentacool: Not u 2 man!

Pichu: Sorry but...that's new! You usually gimme shit when I act like a perv. Or I make a dumb joke.

Noivern: You just hit the nail on the head, dork. But, where's

Jaina: Midoriya's literally trying to break Bakugo's entire body! Sero! Get over here and restrain him!

PhilSwift: Where's Aizawa?! Where's All Might?

Jaina: A PTA meeting with Midoriya's mother at her house.

Mineta: Kinky.

Link: WTF you say about my mother you fucking PIECE OF PERVERTED TRASH?

Mineta: Bear in mind I'M AIRBORNE SCREW YOU! YOU'RE THE UA TRAITOR AREN'T YOU?

Link:

Amy Rose:

Kirby:

Jaina:

Tentacool:

Donald Duck:

Guts Man:

Tails:

Cream:

Demo Man:

Rexxar: Holy SHIT.

**Sonic has returned to the chat**

Sonic: LANGUAGE!

Guts Man: Iida! Read the damn chat!

Sonic:

Sonic: MINETA! YOU DO NOT MAKE PROMISCUOUS REMARKS ABOUT MIDORIYA'S MOTHER OR IMPLY HE'S A VILLAIN!

Mineta: I'M IN FREEFALL! HE LAUNCHED ME! I AM GOING TO DIE!

**Honchkrow has entered the chat**

Honchkrow: No, you're not. I called Hawks to pick you up. He texted me to ask what just launched out of the school.

Mineta: Well GOOD FOR ME! I don't see

Honchkrow: Can confirm Hawks saved Mineta...reluctantly.

Kirby: Meanwhile Deku and Bakugo are literally tearing each other apart!

Amy Rose: Midori's winning hardcore. Damn! I've never seen him so pissed.

Noivern: Where. Is. HE!

Jaina: Kyoka-chan please calm down! I'm not upset. In fact, I'm flattered.

Noivern:

Pichu: Well I'm screwed out of my date now.

Jaina: Kaminari! I'm sorry! I wasn't trying to cause issue.

Pichu: Like hell! If you're saying you're interested in Jirou then I am hosed. How can I compete with a Goddess who's rich?

Jaina: I highly doubt she'd be that shallow as to be interested in my wealth.

Pichu: Yaomomo. I checked your family business stocks. Your family's super loaded.

Jaina: Again. My wealth is not what I believe she'd be interested in.

Pichu: Again. Says you. I'm a stupid, reckless little shit and you're practically a princess. She's gonna dump me before I even get her to go out with me.

Noivern: No, we're still on.

Pichu:

Tentacool: Nani?

Tails: ?

Cream: !

Sonic: Wait! I'm confused. Jirou, you are attracted to BOTH?

Noivern: Bitch, I'm bi. Still figuring which side's more dominant but I like em both.

Pichu: NANI THE FUCK!

Sonic: Language!

Pichu: Oh stop it! But, why? Why me? You practically lump me with MINETA.

Mineta: I'm NOT GONE!

**Sonic has removed Mineta from the chat**

Sonic: I've recorded the chat from when Mineta stole Midoriya's books. Nezu and Aizawa will be dealing with him later.

Noivern: Where's Green?

Jaina: Aizawa just restrained him and Bakugo. He's demanding answers. Bakugo's swearing up a storm. Nothing new on that front.

Amy Rose: I feel I should say that was Midoriya's most brutal fight I've ever seen.

Kirby: Mina, remember how badly he was hurt from the camping trip? Also, the Overhaul incident, which Tsu and I were there for. THAT was brutal.

Amy Rose: Oh yeah! You, Midori, Kiri and Tsu were in an actual Hero raid. Sorry.

Kirby: It's okay. Oh! All Might's here.

(Hours later)

Kirby: So Deku got house arrest. Again.

Link: Worth.

Link: IT.

Kirby: And Bakugo's getting Hound Dog as a Counselor for his behavior. His Mom's coming for a PTA meeting.

Amy Rose: Damn. You ripped into Bakugo. And he told you to jump off a building?

Sonic: That's deplorable behavior! All of that nonsense because of Midoriya's quirk coming in late. Absolutely disgusting. But, Midoriya. We need to talk.

Link: What about?

Sonic: Your notebooks. They had very 'sensitive' information on us all. Likes. Dislikes. Orientations?

Noivern: Been meaning to give you a piece of my mind, Green.

Link:

Donald Duck: It's alright, Midoriya. We're still friends here. Also, sorry for freezing you before.

Link: No. I was out of line there. Should have used a different euphemism.

Noivern: Moving on. How did you know I had a crush on Yaomomo AND Kaminari?

Link: Observation? You hang out with those two the MOST. I put those notes under: REVIEW AND CHANGE LATER ONCE I ASK.

Noivern: Oh. Wait, you were gonna ask me?

Link: Why not? You're my friend. I would have removed the notes if you wanted that private. My notes are observations that I double check and ask everyone if I'm wrong or right about. Some I keep. Some I remove because they want to keep it private.

Noivern: I was totally going to stab you with my earphones earlier for that but now I feel like a bitch.

Link: It's okay. I'm sorry I should have kept those notes more...coded or less explicit.

Amy Rose: I'll say. How'd ya figure I could mess with my acid to make massage oil or sanitizer?

Link: Guess work.

Tail: Tail strength and durability?

Link: Do I really gotta repeat myself. People! Please! I'm an observational person. I've been a fan of Heroes and Quirks since I was a toddler.

Amy Rose: Yeah, but you managed to figure out how my 'massage oil' could help Iida move faster? It's MASSAGE OIL.

Link: Slick oils make the engine parts of his Quirk lubricated and function smoother. Cars have that too.

Sonic: I'd rather not use something that's meant for more...intimate work, Midoriya.

Kirby: Can I use the sanitizer stuff though.

Amy Rose: One condition. And you KNOW what I wanna hear you say.

Kirby:

Link: What? Uraraka's crush on me? I knew THAT.

Kirby: :O

Amy Rose: Okay, when and HOW?! If I hear guess work and observation, I will smack you.

Link: The fact that her gift to me was her favorite food? The fact she blushes MORE times with me around. When I'm talking to her.

Amy Rose: And you said. Nothing.

Link: I respected her privacy and didn't want to get in her face about it. She was right. We are studying to be Pro Heroes. And she's got a LOT on her plate without ME being involved.

Kirby:

Sonic: Uraraka. Are you crying?

Kirby: You knew. I've been feeling all tangled up about my crush on you, Deku. Why didn't you say anything?

Link: I didn't want to distract you. I didn't want to hurt you either. You get so upset when Mina or any girl imply you like me so I thought if I kept my mouth shut, you'd be better off.

Amy Rose: Well don't I feel like a bitch.

Cream: Me too. We tease her so much and yet Deku knew.

Tentacool: So, Midoriya. What are you gonna do about her now?

Kirby: What?!

Tails: Yeah. I mean. You know she likes ya. Hell, earlier you said you loved her!

Link: I did. I meant it too.

Kirby: :O.

Pichu: Holy macaroni.

Pichu: TODOROKI OWES ME MONEY!

Donald Duck: Shit.

Link:

Kirby:

Sonic: Excuse us?

Amy Rose: Wait. You guys were betting? Why didn't you ask me?!

Sonic: Better option. Give the money to Midoriya.

Pichu: Why?!

Sonic: For the BOOKS!

Pichu: Shouldn't Mineta pay for the books? Or Bakugo?

**Knuckles has entered the chat**

Knuckles: Hey guys. I'm calmed down. What did I

Link: Kirishima's going to kill me isn't he?

Knuckles: Nope. But, I'm talking with my BF later when he's out of counseling. I'm SO sorry, Deku-Bro.

Link: I just beat the snot outta your BF and you're apologizing to ME. I feel like I should be apologizing to YOU.

Knuckles: He DID deserve it for what he said to ya.

Knuckles: Also...Where's Mineta. I need to punch his face in.

Sonic: Expelled.

Jaina: Expelled.

Noivern: Fucker got canned faster than a tuna fish.

Knuckles: Well...Damn.

Tentacool: I'm guessing we're partying now that he's gone?

Tails: Oh maliciously. Even IF that brainwashing jerk's replacing him.

Link: Shinsou's fine. He'll come around.

Cream: Deku, you really see the good in everyone, don't you!

Link: Can you blame me?

Guts Man: Only for Mineta and Bakugo. You praise Bakugo all the damn time and he gives ya shit. Honestly, the beating ya put him through was in my opinion and damn cleansing ritual.

Link: And Mineta?

Guts Man: You stomach his perverted behavior.

Link: So do Kaminari and Sero!

Pichu: At least I have limits.

Noivern: Can confirm. Also, thanks for the date BTW.

Pichu: It was a fun time. I had fun with you.

Noivern: Same.

Link: And Sero's excuse?

PhilSwift: I just like stirring the pot a bit. I don't mean anything behind it.

Link: I'll be watching about that.

Sonic: Okay, please don't.

Link: Just making sure he won't BE like Mineta.

PhilSwift: Hand to God. Don't kill me.

Sonic: That reminds me, Midoriya. Why were Aizawa and All Might at your mother's home?

Link: She gets updates about how I'm doing. Since the Camping trip, she's nervous.

Donald Duck: And All Might was with her?

Link: ALL MIGHT ISN'T MY DAD.

Donald Duck: Press X to doubt.

Kirby: No.

Amy Rose: Yeah, no.

Noivern: Seriously, dude. You guessed Kami was Mic's kid a while back. You can't keep doing that.

Donald Duck: They have similar quirks and personalities. Both of them do.

Pichu: Dude, I know my Mom and Dad!

Donald Duck: Doesn't stop my theory on All Might.

Noivern: Green's just a MASSIVE fan. Look at his room.

Link: Don't drag my room into this.

Jaina: We really need to talk about your decor, personally.

Link:

Link: I'm tempted to roast you for that but...Todoroki?

Donald Duck: So sayeth the rich girl.

Link: Thank you.

Donald Duck: :)

Kirby: I'm dying.

Amy Rose: OMG Momo's face went red. Shoto you may have made an enemy.

Donald Duck: I'm a rich boy. I can call it like I see it.

Cream: So...Back to the Izuku/Ochako/Mina thing. How's this gonna work for you?

Amy Rose: I'm down. I love my Green Bean and I love my Mochi girl.

Kirby: Are you okay with me being your girlfriend?

Link: I just said I love you twice. I'm more than willing to have you in my life.

Kirby: Even with Mina?

Link: Mina and I weren't...technically dating? More like hanging out when you were busy.

Amy Rose: Can confirm. It was just casual fun stuff. BTW, Midori. You and Ochako. First dibs.

Link: /// Mina!

Kirby: First dibs for what?

Amy Rose: Kissing.

Kirby: O.o

Jaina: She's floating away.

Link: I'll get her. I need to speak in private to her.

Amy Rose: Got it, babe. Treat her well.

Link: Oh sweet merciful All Might.

**Link and Kirby have left the chat**

Sonic: Should I be worried about the context of 'treat her well'?

Amy Rose: It's fine. The two need to talk over their feels.

Sonic: I guess that's not bad.

Jaina: Jirou. Would you like to study in my room tonight?

Noivern: Okay.

**Jaina and Noivern have left the chat**

Pichu: Well...I feel like I'm gonna lose her but, it was fun while it lasted.

**Pichu has left the chat**

Sonic: Okay, for some reason I feel a sense of dread from Yaoyorozu there.

Donald Duck: Probably nothing. She's not cruel.

Sonic: True.

PhilSwift: Maybe she and Jirou are actually going to study? Not kiss like dorks?

**Sonic has left the chat**

Tails: And there's the dread Iida was sensing.

Cream: Wow! Iida booked it to the dorms!

Honchkrow: Why is he not going to Midoriya's room where he and Uraraka are?

Donald Duck: I believe he's okay with THEM doing explicit things.

Tails: You know Mina gave them 'first dibs'. I highly doubt it's JUST kissing.

Cream: So? You and I have been hoping those two would get together since Year One.

Tails: Tooru! Don't say that out loud.

Donald Duck: Ojiro, I bet with Kaminari that Deku had feelings for Uraraka. You are safe.

Tails: Well. Whatever comes next. I hope

Amy Rose: LOL. Knew she'd hop to it.

Cream: Mina. What are you saying?

Honchkrow: Good LORD! I heard her from the common room! Iida's just passing by NOW!

Amy Rose: Already got a back up on that.

Cream: And Iida booked it to the Support Building why?

Amy Rose: Mei needs excuses to get Iida to her room for maintenance.

Tails: This conversation just went weird.

Cream: Mashi, you're sleeping with an invisible girl. I think you can manage.

Tails: True.

**Tails, Cream, Amy Rose have left the chat**

Guts Man: Now I hear noises from the girl's dorm. Was that Momo?

Honchkrow: Very much so. Revelry in the dark. Good night all.

**Everyone left the chat**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time! SHINSOU JOINS THE CLASS!


	3. New names, a challenger appears? Questions!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pokemon Chat Names! Mina and Ochako defend their Green Baby!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these chapters have IzuOchaMina...It will change eventually. If you've seen my other stories.

**Link has opened Class 1-A Chat**

**Link has invited Class 1-A and new user to Chat**

Link: Morning all! How's everyone doing?

Noivern: Pretty good. That was some good massage work there, Yaomomo. Sorry I uh...got so loud?

Jaina: It's alright. I didn't know you had so much tension in your spine.

Guts Man: Wait! THAT'S why you were screaming like a banshee yesterday? I thought you two...ya know?

Noivern: ///. NO! We did NOT!

Jaina: Satou-kun, that's disrespectful!

Guts Man: O.o. How is THAT disrespectful? I made an incorrect assumption!

Jaina: Just because we're both bisexual, does not mean we're sex crazed like Mineta.

Donald Duck: What? You are both bisexual?

Noivern: Oi!

Kirby: I think all of us knew that.

Amy Rose: Yeah! BTW, Chako. Babe. How was he last night? ;)

Kirby: OMG Mina! That's between me and Deku!

Link: Wait. How was what? We just kissed and cuddled.

Amy Rose: Then why was Ochako moaning like you gave her the most awesome sex in her life?

Link: O.O WHA?!

Demo Man: Wait...So you and Round Face DIDN'T fuck yesterday when I got back? Speaking of which...As part of Hound Dog's counseling sessions I am legally obliged to...to...

Knuckles: Say you're sorry?

Demo Man: What Shitty Hair said.

Link:

Kirby: Deku? Sweetie?

PhilSwift: Aww, cute! Yer nicknam

Tails: Sero?

Cream: Don't mess with Ochako. She's got backup.

Kirby: Thx! :D

Amy Rose: Yo, Midori? Y'okay?

Link: I'll...Be fine. Apology accepted. Tentatively.

Demo Man: Also, where's the fucking midget? Haven't seen him since ya kicked his ass outta the school grounds.

Pichu: Dude got kicked out permanently man.

Demo Man:

Demo Man: Bitchin. Not bad nerd.

Sonic: Speaking of 'nerds'. Midoriya, you received a parcel from a comic shop?

Link: Oh yeah, I ordered something as part of my house arrest. Since I can't write in my notebooks (Thanks Kacchan), I was told about this hobby from Shinsou!

Tails: Wait? The brainwashing punk from the Sports Festival? What hobby did he teach you? If it's something related to self-harm!

Link: ??? It's model building.

Knuckles: Model building? What models?

Link: Gunpla.

Sonic: WHAT? Midoriya! We cannot have Guns on the school premises!

Pichu: Iida...Prez? Gunpla are model kits about those Gundams on TV.

Sonic: What in my brother's name is a Gundam?

Tentacool: For a guy who's Hero Costume is a 'Robot' suit...That's seriously funny.

Honchkrow: Indeed. What a mad bouquet of darkness.

Sonic: Can someone explain what a Gundam is?

Shiny Meowth: Oh mon dieu seigneur. A Gundam is a Giant robot anime. I have watched one of it's series.

Demo Man: You watched G didn't you, French Fries?

Shiny Meowth: Incroyable! How did you know?

Demo Man: Took a wild guess. The fact that it has a 'French' Gundam did tip me off.

Link: Wait! You watched G Gundam, Kacchan?

Demo Man: Giant robots beating the shit outta each other every episode? Why wouldn't I?

Guts Man: Dunno what G Gundam is...But, I get the feeling it fits for him.

Link: Personally I assumed he liked G Tekketsu.

Demo Man: Wha?

Link: IBO?

Demo Man: OH! That one. Fuck yeah! Fuckin' Mikazuki is a brutal bastard for such a weirdo. That damn Mace Wrench. I want it.

Knuckles: Should I even begin to ask what Baku-Bro's on about?

Link: Kacchan's likely gonna want you to watch the show with him later.

Demo Man: Damn FUCKING STRAIGHT! Trust me man, you'll love it! Giant robots! Badass muscular teens whooping ass!

Noivern: Any female characters kicking ass?

Demo Man: A fucking ship load. I actually cried when two of 'em died! Fucking IOK KUJAN! So glad Akihiro wrecked his dumb ass.

Jaina: Bakugo...crying? Now I have heard everything.

Amy Rose: Midori, did you see Bakugo cry when you fought and got house arrest before?

Link: I plead the fifth.

Demo Man: Good call. So what model did you order?

Link: Something from the HGBF series.

Kirby: The wha?

Link: High Grade Build Fighters. I got what's called the 'Build Strike Gundam: Full Package'. Don't ask why it's called Full Package, it's their labeling.

Link: (Posts image of the Model Kit box art).

Demo Man: Ya gonna customize it or straight build?

Link: Straight Build. It's my first one and Shinsou gave me stuff to make sure I don't hurt myself or ruin the model.

Sonic: That's quite gentlemanly of Shinsou. Since Mineta's expulsion, he's replacing him I heard.

Cream: Yo, Mashi! Better behave. I know you've got beef with him, but, he's gotten better.

Tails: I know, I know. I'll be nice. Oh! Tooru, we up for that date tonight?

Cream: Just gotta get permission from Aizawa so we can go off campus.

Tails: Nice.

**Link has invited Hitoshi Shinsou to Class 1-A chat**

Shinsou: WTF? Who invited me?

Link: Shinsou! It's me, Midoriya!

Shinsou: The hell's your name supposed to be, Greens?

Kirby: Greens?

Shinsou: My name for him. Why? Problem?

Kirby: No. Just surprised. Mina calls him Midori which means 'Green'. Jirou calls Deku 'Green'. Weird choice is all.

Noivern: Chako, his last name means Green and he's got green eyes and hair all over. It's not that weird.

Demo Man: She's gotcha there, Cheeks.

Kirby:

Link: It's okay, Ochako. It's okay! Please don't yeet our friends into space.

Kirby: For you, babe. I won't.

Noivern: So...if you two weren't doin' any sex last night like Fat lips there assumed we were.

Guts Man: HEY!

Noivern: What were you two doing that got you so loud.

Link: I gave her a back massage.

Noivern: Oh! Like me and Momo did?

Link: Deep tissue back massage. Sorry, Ochako, but, it was a lot harder to untwist those knots in your shoulders and tendons then I thought.

Kirby: Nah, it's my bad. Maybe I should go on a diet?

Amy Rose: You kidding? You're beautiful the way you are.

Link: Agreed.

Kirby: <3 to my babes.

Cream: That's so cute!

Honchkrow: TOO BRIGHT! MY EYES! THEY BURNS!

Slippy: ...Really, Tokoyami?

Honchkrow: Let me have some fun.

Shinsou: So...we getting new nicknames?

Donald Duck: Please? I would rather not be a duck for the rest of my life.

Demo Man: No! Leave him like that. He knows what he did.

Link: We still on about him freezing me? I said sorry about that. And he apologized too.

Sonic: Please change the names. I'd rather not be stuck as a Hedgehog. He's so short.

Rexxar: OwO.

Link: Okay! We'll change names. What theme should we do?

Shinsou: How's about Pokemon? I'm new so I should get to pick.

Link: Pokemon it is. Anyone who has a Pokemon name say if they wanna change it.

Noivern: Keeping mine.

Shiny Meowth: ^^^.

Tentacool: ^^^.

Pichu: Change mine! For God's sake! I'm tired of being the yellow rat!

Link: Okay!

**Link has changed Pichu's name to Manectric.**

Manectric: SWEET! It's got a Mega Evolution!

**Link has changed name to Cinderace**

Cinderace: I was recommended this by someone. Dunno why.

Kirby:

Amy Rose:

Cinderace: What?

Demo Man: How was that recommended to you? Also...Really? A Rabbit Pokemon that's known for kicking and you DON'T get who recommended it to you?

Cinderace: It got sent to me by my Mom. Apparently, I get fan mail.

(everyone types: WHAT?! in the chat)

Cinderace: WHAT?

Kirby: Deku! Do you have that piece of fan mail with you?

Cinderace: On my desk why

Guts Man: Oh boy...Two angry, protective girlfriends. RIP Miruko.

Cinderace: Wait what!

Sonic: I shall continue your name changing work, Midoriya. Please try to prevent Mina and Ochako from fighting Miss Miruko. She is to be visiting our dorms for an apparent lecture on teamwork.

Kirby: Rabbity bitch won't take our man!

Amy Rose: Damn right!

**Sonic has changed Kirby's name to Espeon.**

Espeon: Sweet! BRB. Gonna tell a rabbit girl where to stuff it!

**Sonic has changed Amy Rose's name to Salazzle.**

Salazzle: Never played whatever Gen this is from but, don't care. BRB! WAIT UP CHEEKS!

**Espeon and Salazzle have left the Chat**

Jaina: Should we stop them?

Donald Duck: Midoriya's going to stop them. They're his girlfriends. Miruko will be alright.

Demo Man: How much anyone wanna bet Bunny Ears is gonna wanna join the nerd's little...group?

PhilSwift: You mean Harem? Cuz, rumor has it, a LOT of ladies are interested in his ass.

Knuckles: Name three.

PhilSwift: Miruko, for one.

Knuckles: Okay, besides her!

**Sonic has changed Demo Man's name to Typhlosion.**

Typhlosion: AWESOME! My favorite starter.

PhilSwift: That Shield girl from I-Island.

Knuckles: Oh yeah. She did seem kinda flirty with little Deku-Bro!

PhilSwift: ...Three quarters of the Pussycats.

Knuckles: Wha?!

Typhlosion: Oh fucking hell! It's cuz he rescued the red cat's nephew. Must think he's 'Daddy' material.

Guts Man: Fuck! At the rate he's going, there won't be any ladies for us!

PhilSwift: I asked Shiozaki of Class 1-B if any of the girls there were interested in him. She said 'no'. She notes Midoriya's kinda cute, but, none of the girls' type.

Knuckles: Why were you talking to Ibara Shiozaki of Class 1-B.

PhilSwift:

**Sonic has changed PhilSwift's name to Spinarak.**

Spinarak: No comment.

**Spinarak has left the chat**

Manectric: He digs her. 

Knuckles: Duh! 

**Sonic has changed Knuckles' name to Machamp**

Machamp: Manly! 

Typhlosion: Of course, babe. 

**Sonic has changed Tails' name to Mankey**

Mankey: I couldn't be Aipom? 

Sonic: Sorry, I never played Gen 2. 

**Sonic has changed Cream's name to Misdreavus**

Misdreavus: A Ghost type? 

Sonic: They turn invisible. It fits. 

**Sonic has changed Slippy's name to Greninja**

Greninja: The best Water Starter! 

Honchkrow: Mudkip's better. 

Greninja: Whatever memelord. 

Manectric: Hey! I'm the Meme Lord in this Chat, Froakie! 

**Manectric posted 30 memes about Pokemon**

**Sonic has changed their name to Metagross**

Metagross: Midoriya suggested this one to me. I don't know what it is, but, I'm told it's a powerful Pokemon. 

Typhlosion: It's a Steel/Psychic Pseudo-Legendary Pokemon. It's some four legged monster. 

Metagross: I'll need to look into these 'Steel' Types quickly. 

Jaina: You'd best do so. 

**Metagross has changed Guts Man's name to Conkeldurr**

Conkeldurr: A knock off Machamp? Whatever. I liked Guts Man better. 

**Metagross has changed Donald Duck's name to Ninetales**

Ninetales: I'm sorry, why am I the Fire Fox? 

Jaina: Ninetales has an Alolan Form that's Ice Type. So it goes both ways. 

Ninetales: I see. Sure, I'll take it. I should play Pokemon Sun and Moon. 

Noivern: Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon is a MUCH better remake personally. 

Ninetales: I will see. Has anyone heard from Midoriya? 

**Metagross has changed Jaina's name to Mega Pidgeot**

Mega Pidgeot: Oh, I love this Pokemon. Pidgey was my favorite Bird Pokemon. Also, I got a message from Kendou-san. She said she saw Midoriya and the others at Miruko's visiting area. Miruko gave him a hug and then Ochako and Mina got really upset. 

Ninetales: How bad is it? 

Mega Pidgeot: They LOOKED like they were going to get into a scuffle until Miruko asked Midoriya his mother's first name. Which...is new? 

**Metagross has changed Rexxar's name to Bunnelby**

Bunnelby: :D. 

Manectric: Wha? Why would the Rabbit Hero want Midoriya's old lady's name? 

Typhlosion: Watch it, Dunce Face. Don't be dissing Auntie Inko! Even I know not to screw with her. 

Machamp: Wow! The only person Bakugo fears...Deku's MOM? 

Typhlosion: She and my old hag are best pals. They put us on play dates as kids until I got my Quirk and it was this whole shit show. 

**Metagross has changed Shinsou's name to Hypno**

Hypno: Glasses. That is perfect. Hypno is both like my Quirk and my spirit Pokemon. 

Metagross: You're...Welcome? Should I be worried? 

Hypno: Nope. 

Cinderace: OKAY! CRISIS AVERTED. OMG. 

**Espeon and Salazzle have re-entered the chat**

Mega Pidgeot: So what happened? 

Espeon: Well, we were gonna give the Rabbit a piece of our minds! 

Salazzle: We thought she was tryna take our bae from us. Turns out...Not remotely the case. With a HELLUVA case of irony thrown in. 

Ninetales: Meaning what? 

Espeon: She wants Deku to take her to his Mom. We're going with them to make sure any 'requests' aren't made behind our backs. 

Salazzle: Yeah...The fuck is a Salazzle? 

Machamp: Nobody tell her! 

Salazzle: 

Cinderace: Um, she found the Pokedex Entry. 

Machamp: Uh oh. 

Salazzle: 

Salazzle: <3\. 

Metagross: ? 

Cinderace: Mina? Honey? 

Salazzle: Deku, can me and Ochako hang in your room for the night? 

Cinderace: Um? Sure? What 

**Cinderace, Salazzle and Espeon have left the chat**

Metagross: You know something. I'm not going to bother this time. Too tired for it. I'm calling Hatsume. 

Hypno: You mean that cute support chick right? U 2 R dating? Nice. 

Metagross: ...Glad I make your approval with my relationship choice...Good night all. 

**Metagross has left the chat**

Noivern: Ya think they're doing deep tissue massage this time? 

Mega Pidgeot: Not even questioning that. 

Manectric: Hey, Jirou...Ya wanna go on another date? I know I'm not worth it but I'd like to ask. 

Noivern: Sure, dude! I'm casual about this. I got a beautiful lady and a nice rocker guy pining after me. I've never felt so attractive before. 

Mega Pidgeot: You deserve a lot of love, Kyouka-chan. I'm okay sharing you with Denki if he doesn't mind. 

Manectric: Wait does that mean we're dating too? Or just we share Jirou? 

Mega Pidgeot: Um, just the second option. 

Manectric: I guess that's fine. More chances for me to win you over! 

Noivern: Which me? Me or Momo? 

Manectric: Yes. 

Ninetales: 

Mega Pidgeot: Todoroki? 

Manectric: Um...Did I do a dumb? 

**Ninetales has left the chat**

Mega Pidgeot: TODOROKI?! 

Noivern: WTF? Why am I hearing sobs?! 

**Cinderace has re-entered the chat**

Cinderace: Okay, who upset Todoroki! He literally entered my room and is tearing up. Who triggered him?! Mina and Ochako are patting his head and he's sobbing. WHO! HURT! MY! FRIEND? 

Manectric: NO ONE! I just asked Jirou for a date, Momo is willing to share the love for her, I mentioned me trying to win Momo and Jirou to my good side...and then he dropped outta the chat!!! 

Mega Pidgeot: Midoriya! Put Todoroki back in the chat! Why was he upset?! 

Cinderace: I just asked him and he's not willing to re-enter the chat now. Also, I think I know WHY he's upset. Give him some space. ALL of you. 

Typhlosion: Seriously? What pissed in his cereal? 

Cinderace: Kacchan. I'm willing to extend my house arrest for this. Do you want to go through another round of ANGRY ME? 

Typhlosion: I'd rather not. I still got bruises. 

Machamp: Let's not piss off the Green Bean when he's helping Todo-Broki now. 

Typhlosion: That's a stupid nickname. 

Machamp: So is Icy Hot. And Shitty Hair! My hair's not that bad. 

Typhlosion: Okay, fine. Come to my room we got Gundam anime to watch. I'll make the Popcorn. You bring the sodas. 

Machamp: You got it, babe! 

**Typhlosion and Machamp have left the chat**

Mega Pidgeot: Midoriya, I'm coming to see Todoroki! I don't know what's wrong but I wish to help. 

Cinderace: DON'T! Trust me! It's best you keep your distance. At least, for now. He's finally conked out. Mina's putting a blanket on him and he's curled in a corner, snoring. 

Mega Pidgeot: But, Midoriya! He and I are friends! Why would my having an interest in Jirou, be 

Noivern: Momo? 

Mega Pidgeot: I fucked up. 

**Mega Pidgeot has left the chat**

Noivern: MOMO?! 

**Noivern has left the chat**

Bunnelby: DX Why are bad things happening to nice people? 

Cinderace: No idea. 

Manectric: I don't get it! I ask Jirou out on a date! I make a minor flirty remark! And Todoroki has a panic attack?! What did I do? I didn't wanna hurt the guy! 

Cinderace: Just leave it alone tonight. Okay? I'll talk to Todoroki when he's calmer. This can be fixed. 

Manectric: Oh...Okay. 

Cinderace: Also, I read the chat. Am I really that popular with girls? 

Misdreavus: Yeah! Even us girls consider you a MASSIVE Plan B if our original options fizzled out. 

Cinderace: Which girls? 

Greninja: All of us in the class. Jirou, Momo, Mina, Tooru...me. Uraraka already had Deku as her Plan A. But, if that didn't work out, we'd know if we had a shot. 

Honchkrow: :O. 

Greninja: I said he was Plan B if you said no. 

**Honchkrow: I know but...You must understand...THAT'S A LOT TO SWALLOW! You. Tooru...Every girl?**

****

Mankey: YEAH! My girlfriend likes Midoriya?! 

****

Misdreavus: !! It's not like that, Mashi! I can explain! The girls came to the idea that if our original options for boyfriends didn't work out, we'd try Midoriya as Option B. 

****

Mankey: That doesn't change the fact that EVERY girl in class has a liking for Midoriya. No offense. 

****

Cinderace: None taken because THE HELL?! I need to talk to Mina and Chako for this. Later! 

****

**Cinderace has left the chat. Again.**

****

Manectric: 

****

Mankey: 

****

Bunnelby: 

****

Honchkrow: 

****

Hypno: That reminds me, ya think Mei likes Midoriya too? 

****

Conkeldurr: Let's NOT find out. Tenya would be pissed if his girlfriend had a case of the wandering eye for his buddy. 

****

Greninja: Guess we got some explaining to do, Tooru-chan. 

****

Misdreavus: Yeah. Get everyone that isn't Midoriya, Ashido, Uraraka or Todoroki. Guess our B Plot's been...kinda pulled out from the ground. 

****

Tentacool: Yup! 

****

**Everyone has left the chat**

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is Miruko planning?


	4. And now...some brief IRL situations!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some IRL shenanigans!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now...some fun times.

**Section 1: Izuku and Shoto's talk.**

Morning came to Heights Alliance quickly. Many of the students were tense after the various revelations came about yesterday. Ochako and Mina were very protective of their green haired boyfriend. Momo kept trying to enter his room to speak to Todoroki, but, they guarded the dorm room with the fervor of lovers. They stood as tall as they could, even as Momo threatened them with suspension for barring the door.

"You can do that, Yaomomo. But, Deku's talkin' ta Shoto! And those two need ta not be interrupted." Ochako replied, sternly.

"Yeah! Midori's gotta talk to Todoroki. Then, we'll see if it's fine." Mina nodded in agreement.

Inside Midoriya's dorm room, Todoroki stirred from his small sleeping spot in the corner. It was uncomfortable and cramped as he saw Izuku sitting and building his recently acquired model.

"...Midoriya?" He rasped, his voice hoarse.

"Huh? Oh! Todoroki! You're awake. How do you feel?" The green eyed boy asked, turning from his model. Todoroki saw that the model was **almost complete**! It just lacked the backpack that the box art had.

"...Not sure. Still kind of...hurt...I just...don't know why." Shoto said, his voice trembling.

"It's easy to feel hurt when you're figuring out how to feel. I was confused about Mina and Ochako's feelings since...I was used to being ignored by girls growing up." Izuku said, scratching the back of his shyly.

"...That seems hard to believe. Considering the girls seem to all have at least some level of infatuation to you." Shoto replied, bitterly.

"H-Hey! I'm as confused and freaked out as you are about that. Didn't think I was that attractive. Believe me...if you knew me growing up, you'd understand my view better." Izuku wistfully explained.

"...I may hold you to that one day, Midoriya. Still...I apologize." Shoto stated.

"I already forgave you for freezing--!" Izuku groaned, before Shoto stopped him.

"No!...For barging into your room and...interrupting your...um..." Shoto interrupted, before blushing and scratching his scarred cheek.

"...You can say it. Sex. Mina and Ochako were pulling me into having...sex." Izuku said, blushing and smiling embarrassingly, "We barely even got the shirts off before you came in so you didn't really interrupt. The mood was barely there."

"I know but--! They're your lovers and you're theirs. How does that--! I mean, no offense, Midoriya but..." Shoto stammered, in a surprising way that Izuku compared to his own.

"Again...I was as surprised by this as you are. I knew about Ochako, but knew she wanted to focus on her studies first and foremost." Izuku explained, "...Really...I know I sounded kind of...uninterested when I noted it during the chats, but...I was honestly expecting that torch to fizzle out a long time ago."

"What do you mean?" Todoroki asked, concerned.

"...I felt I was unworthy of her affections. She spent more time saving me than being able to do the objective in some assignments and exercises. I...couldn't help feeling I was burdening her." Izuku replied, sadly, "She was always brave, and determined and smart and funny. I've spent more times in the school hospital than anyone in class combined. I thought she should be with someone more deserving."

"What about Mina?" Shoto asked.

"Mina always said our relationship was more casual. She said she did like me but was still figuring out her attractions since she found out Kirishima and Kacchan are a thing."

"I remember how she seemed rather lethargic when she found out. Then she bounced back. I assume that was...?"

"Yeah. She was wandering the dorm halls and she saw me writing notes in my...notebooks...One thing led to another as we watched anime to cheer her up." Izuku said, shrugging.

"I see. Guess there's many ways to just cool off." Shoto mused.

"Guess there are...So...what do _you_ plan to do?" Izuku inquired, smirking.

"...Maybe just rest on it. On a comfier bed. The floor is murder on my spinal column. How's the model?" the 'Icy Hot' user asked, looking at the Gundam.

"Just gotta make the guns, the beam sabers and the Build Booster for it."

"Seems complicated."

"Yeah...But I like it. The parts and integration of the joints. Honestly it's giving me ideas to handle my Quirk's upgrades. But, I'll put those ideas on the drawing board for a while."

"I see. What's that?" The red-white haired boy asked, pointing to the boxes.

"Oh! That. Turns out there was a second Gunpla in the order. The 'Jiyan Altron' Gundam. It has a Fire and ice motif, along with a Tiger and Wolf and Dragon thing going for it." Izuku said, holding the model kit, "You wanna give it a go?"

"No thank you. Would it be alright if I take the model off your hands when you're done?"

"Sure! I plan to custom paint it though."

"Custom paint? Into what?"

"I'll leave that as a surprise for you, Todoroki. For now, you should head out before Yaoyorozu and the girls get physical." Izuku chuckled.

"I had best. I fear Momo's fervor towards getting information would cause a fiasco not unlike yours and Bakugo's." Shoto said, smirking before getting off the ground and leaving. At his desk, Izuku pulled a picture of Shoto Todoroki in his Hero Costume and placed it on the model kit for the 'Altron' Gundam.

"...This will be a good idea. I hope."

Exiting Midoriya's room, Shoto saw Momo and the pair of lovers Midoriya was involved with getting into battle stances.

"Excuse me." He called, interrupting their potential fight, "Midoriya is available for you both. He's just finishing his model."

The trio sighed in relief before the two girls entered, allowing Shoto to hear a stuttering Izuku apparently being led to his bed. Guess the girls wish to 'un-pause' their late night escapades before meeting with Miruko. At least today's a Saturday.

Shutting the door and turning to face the pony-tailed raven haired girl, Shoto felt a sting of pain. She stood there, embarrassed; ashamed? It was an awkward silence before Momo coughed.

"T-Todoroki-kun. I...I am so--!" Momo began, before Shoto raised his hand.

"I apologize Yaoyorozu. I have to return to my dorm room. Sleeping on Midoriya's floor was not comfortable." Shoto interrupted. Momo's face froze in fright.

"T-Todo--!" Momo attempted to speak before Shoto walked past her.

"I apologize again, Yaoyorozu. I am...not in the mood to speak currently." Shoto said, his voice terse. Momo hung her head in apparent guilt.

"But..."

Momo's head lifted up in hope.

"Give me some time. I am just really tired. We can talk...when I'm more awake. Is that alright...Yaomomo?" Shoto said, a soft forgiving smile on his face.

Momo's eyes lit up with relief and glee, "Yes, I'm so hap--! *Ahem* I mean, yes. That would be fair enough, Todoroki." before returning to a prim and proper speech.

Shoto smiled and began to walk to his room, "Todoroki..."

Turning, he saw Momo gracefully stride next to him, "Would you be alright if I made sure you made it to your dorm room? If you're still feeling exhaustion from last night's sleeping conditions, I mean."

Shoto gave a soft chuckle before nodding. A relieved Momo walking alongside him as they went to his room for his proper rest.

Izuku, having snuck a peak outside, smiled in relief as well, before tensing in fear as he felt four arms gently grab his shoulders, "Oh All Might...Give me strength..."

His last words before being pulled back in. When they leave for Miruko's meeting with Izuku's mom, no one questioned Midoriya's extreme tiredness.

"I am blessed with two awesome girlfriends. But, I'm cursed with the fact they're thirsty ones at that! Ooooohhhh...My back..."

###### 

**Section Two: Kirishima wants a Burning Gundam...And a Gurren Lagann.**

Kirishima and Bakugo watched G Gundam and Gundam Iron-Blooded Orphans for the night before sharing Bakugo's bed. This led to Kirishima to look into other hot blooded anime.

Bakugo regrets mentioning Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann...

###### 

**Section Three: Overmind joins the Party! Problem is his new lodgings...**

Shinsou moved into Class 1-A's dorms the day Izuku, Mina and Ochako left with Miruko to visit Inko. He didn't have a lot of stuff to bring, but, he was secretly happy to share the same hall as Midoriya. The green haired dork was his first real friend since joining UA's Hero Course.

His only reservation was with his new room. Since his expulsion, Minoru Mineta's room was made vacant and cleaned thoroughly. But, Shinsou had his doubts.

He found the raven haired, big chested girl who was interested in that punk rock chick and the ice and fire guy as he reached his new room.

"Hey, ponytail..." The purple haired, sleep deprived gremlin asked.

"Oh? Oh! Shinsou. It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you need anything?" She asked, politely.

"I heard your Quirk can make anything. Can you make a black light for me?" Shinsou asked, deadpan.

"Why yes! Why is that?" She asked.

"Just...Come with me and make it as we go. Please?" Shinsou asked, nervously. The girl came with him and made the black light fixture for him to use.

 **Both** regretted it after turning on the light into the room. Their screams and frustrated groans made Aizawa beyond relieved that Mineta was gone. His room lit up like a Jackson Pollock painting. But, Cementoss was beyond irritated he had to replace the ENTIRE wall and floor structure for one room.

"God dammit, grape fruit. You have serious issues."

###### 

**Section Four: The Green Bunny Family...Reunion?!**

Izuku, Ochako, Mina and Miruko all hopped, floated and whipped their way to the apartment complex Inko lived at.

"Umm...Miruko-san?" Izuku squeaked, as Miruko turned and gave the greenette a hungry stare.

"So...Why did you want to see my Mom, exactly?" He asked, his courage growing.

"Ah, don't worry little bunny. Auntie Rumi just wants ta see Mama Inko." The chocolate skinned woman said, her smile morphing to that of a...? She looked like a giddy school girl meeting her crush for the first time. And Izuku could tell, he's seen that face on Ochako and Mina constantly since they made their relationship. With the exception of that morning. Izuku's hips were still tender!

The trio exchanged looks. Nothing she said seemed threatening. But still, it didn't hurt to err on the side of caution.

They made it to Inko's apartment with Miruko taking the rear as Izuku, Ochako and Mina were separately given bear hugs. She loved having her son visit and hearing that he scored two girls in High School, while unorthodox, she was very open minded as long as her son was happy.

Soon, Miruko took a step forward and greeted Inko. The smaller woman, while briefly intimidated by the Top Female Hero, turned to her son and assumed he NETTED a Pro Hero, somehow. Given the fan mail she receives and has READ (because oh lordy, the little guy gets too much mail to hide), Miruko pounced and gave Inko a bear hug, herself.

"COUSIN INKO! IT'S SO AWESOME TO SEE YOU AGAIN!" The rabbit hero shrieked joyously. Izuku, Mina and Ochako all stared slack jawed as the Rabbit Hero _lifted_ Inko off the ground and laughed heartily.

"Cousin Inko?...Miruko-san, what's the big idea?" Ochako asked, chuckling nervously.

"C'mon, Inko! Doncha recognize Cousin Rumi-Yumi?" Miruko cheered as she had Inko face her.

Inko blanked for a second before narrowing her eyes, furrowing her brows as she looked intently at the taller woman. The chocolate skin, white hair and red eyes were immediately familiar to her.

"...Cousin...Rumi? Is that you?!" Inko hissed in shock as a sudden recognition took hold. Rumi's smile widened as tears took hold, "Ohmygosh! Cousin Rumi! I haven't seen you since you were a little toddler! C'mere! I missed seeing you! I should have known you were Miruko! I felt there was something familiar!"

Rumi and Inko hugged for a long while as Ochako and Mina paled. Izuku...fainted at the recognition his mother gave.

"COUSINS? You and Miruko, the Rabbit Hero...are family?! Wait...then that means?...OH GOD MIDORI'S DEAD!" Mina screamed as the family and girlfriends helped the boy to the nearest couch.

Rumi revealed to Izuku that since the Team Up Mission she had with him, Bakugo and Uraraka, the Rabbit Hero had a familiar inkling of recognition from him. Hence her reason for taking the 'Teamwork' Lecture. She didn't care for Teamwork, she just wanted the excuse to visit and ask Midoriya if his mother was Inko. Turned out Inko's mother had an older brother who left the family and changed his surname to Usagiyama.

Rumi is Inko's First Cousin, making Rumi Usagiyama, the Rabbit Hero: Miruko; Izuku's Second Cousin, but, she liked the idea of being an Aunt for the greenette.

Izuku's eyes went wide as he realized something. There was gonna be hell for the chat tonight!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mineta is messy...Shouto is a Mess...Rumi prevents a Mess and Kirishima cannot be messed with!


	5. The Rabbit and the Mother Enter...And One Explanation For All is Made!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miruko and Inko Enter the Chat...and REVELATIONS ARE MADE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Miruko - Shiny Lopunny.  
> Inko - Chansey.

**Cinderace has opened the Class 1-A chat**

**Cinderace has invited 22 members to the chat**

Cinderace: Hey, everyone! How was everyone's day yesterday?

Metagross: Exemplary, my friend! Mei and I had excellent date night. Although, she seemed red faced whenever I mentioned you.

Salazzle: Why bring up Midoriya to your girlfriend?

Espeon: Iida...Keep Mei away from our Midoriya!

Metagross: Why? She supplies Midoriya with upgrades to his gear. From what I've noticed, she seems...frustrated with him of late.

Cinderace: Me? What did I do?

Metagross: You broke some of the gear she made for you.

Cinderace: Did not! I need that gear to keep my arms and legs from breaking whenever I use my Quirk!

Espeon: ...

Salazzle: Chako...

Espeon: ...

Metagross: Uraraka...have you been breaking the gear Mei makes for Midoriya?

Espeon: ...

Cinderace: Ocha? Honey?

Espeon: ...I only broke one thing. And that was an accident.

Manectric: Press X to doubt that shit.

Typhlosion: Yeah, I saw you total ALL of that shit.

Espeon: I only broke the stupid belt buckle thingy! All I broke!

Cinderace: WHY? That had a med-kit I had prepped!

Espeon: It was an accident! I swear!

Bunnelby: *shakes head in shame*.

Noivern: Wow, Koda's ashamed of you. How do you accept that?

Machamp: Yeah! That's super unmanly of ya, Uraraka.

Espeon: I'm sorry. I just...I'm working through some issues, OKAY?!

Salazzle: Just because you had the green eyed monster for Mei back in First Year, doesn't mean she's gonna try and snag Midori from us! I won't let her either, babe.

Metagross: Midoriya, your lovers are quite

Cinderace: Yes, I know. They're protective and...clingy. But, I love them all the same.

Espeon: <3.

Salazzle: <3.

Metagross: I will contact Mei and tell her who kept sabotaging the gear she makes for you. Uraraka. Be warned. Mei has a habit of seeking vengeance upon those who ruin her 'babies'.

Espeon: I can take her! Me and Mina can handle anything she's got.

Metagross: Very well. I just sent a message to her. She has sent her...Vehicons on their way?

Espeon:

Salazzle:

Cinderace: You two! Get to my room! Mei won't attack me! If she's like all the other girls...then she's got eyes for me too.

Metagross: I'm sorry...WHAT?!

Hypno: Oh...Right, you don't know this. Midoriya's apparently the 'Plan B' for boyfriends in your class. I would hazard a guess that she's interested too.

Shiny Lopunny: Can't blame 'em. If I weren't the little green bunny's aunt, I might be in on that action.

Typhlosion: Who the fuck is this?!

Shiny Lopunny: Yo, I'm Miruko, bitch!

Ninetales: Wait...You're Midoriya's AUNT? So...Midoriya is NOT All Might's secret love child?

Chansey: All Might is not my son's biological father!

Typhlosion: ...Aunt Inko? What the hell?!

Chansey: Oh, morning Kacchan!

Machamp: HA! She calls you Kacchan, too?

Typhlosion: I don't argue with her. I respect her.

Chansey: Yet you disrespect my baby.

Cinderace: Mom, we talked about this.

Chansey: I still have concerns.

Shiny Lopunny: Don't worry, cousin. The spiky bitch is mine~!

Typhlosion: I'm sorry but...THE FUCK?!

Shiny Lopunny: I did a bit of research on you, Bakugo. Especially on Arudera Middle School. I sent it to Nedzu, BTW.

Typhlosion:

Machamp: Babe?

**Typhlosion has left the chat**

Machamp: Baku-Babe?!

Shiny Lopunny: Don't worry, Red. He's not in complete danger of Nedzu. Only of _ME_.

Chansey: Rumi...Be nice. Izuku said to be nice to Kacchan.

Shiny Lopunny: Okay, okay, cousin. Still, I wanna put that punk through some extreme training.

Machamp: Can I join? I need to increase my Quirk strength.

Shiny Lopunny: Sure! I'll put ya through yer paces. You his BF, BTW?

Machamp: Yup! We're manly lovers!

Conkeldurr: Oh brother.

Mega Pidgeot: He never changes, but, we love Kirishima for his optimism.

Ninetales:

Mega Pidgeot: Not like that in my case, Todoroki. I meant platonically. Like brothers and sisters.

Ninetales: No, I wasn't thinking about that. Just...Everything I thought I knew about Midoriya...was a LIE!

Chansey: How?

Ninetales: All Might's Quirk is super strength: Midoriya's Quirk was super strength. Even their natures seem to align exactly.

Mega Pidgeot: Todoroki, just because Midoriya and All Might have similar Quirks, they do have distinctions.

Ninetales: How?

Mega Pidgeot: Well for one, Midoriya's got that weird black whip like ability and can FLOAT.

Chansey: I'm sorry, can you repeat that? My son has WHAT? I thought it was just that superpower Quirk? Not...whatever you just said?

Cinderace: I need to make a call or two...million.

**Cinderace has left the chat**

Espeon: And Midoriya's calling...All Might?

Salazzle: I've never seen him so jittery. Now he's calling Bakugo?! One minute, Chako and I need to confer with our bunny boy.

**Espeon and Salazzle have left the chat**

Metagross: All Might? Bakugo? I fear that Midoriya's Quirk is more than we should pry into.

Spinarak: You kidding?! We need to know more, dude!

Chansey: I just got a call from Principal Nedzu and...All Might? I have to come to the Campus.

Shiny Lopunny: Need me there, sister?

Tentacool: Sister?!

Shiny Lopunny: We're family, tentacles.

Shiny Meowth: Mon dieu seigneur! We have some interesting developments ici.

Shiny Lopunny: Google translate, you are my friend.

Shiny Meowth: *HMPH*.

**Chansey has left the chat**

Shiny Lopunny: Anyway, just to know. How IS my nephew holding up these days?

Metagross: Quite well. He's performing admirably.

Hypno: Green's helped out with a lotta people. Even the kid.

Shiny Lopunny: Kid?

Hypno: Eri. She's this little tyke.

Shiny Lopunny: Oh, wait! Is she the little white haired girl from the Yakuza raid a long while back.

Greninja: Yup, kero. She's adorable. She's also really attached to Midoriya-chan and Togata-chan.

Shiny Lopunny: Oh! That's the four eyed 'foresight' guy's intern, right? Saw him on TV. Kinda dopey. I kinda thought HE was All Might's kid for a while.

Ninetales: So...if Midoriya's not All Might's love child...Who is?

Shiny Lopunny: Icy Hot's got a one track mind here, huh?

Ninetales: HOW DO _YOU_ KNOW THAT NICKNAME?!

Noivern: HOLY CRAP! He erupted bigger than Endeavor!

Shiny Lopunny: Oh, yeah, the flaming garbage disposal.

Ninetales:

Mega Pidgeot: Did...Did Todoroki just laugh?!

Noivern: That's rather...scary?

Honchkrow: And here I thought Midoriya's laughter was a rarity. That's a twilight gemstone!

Mankey: Okay, Tooru and I kept getting bombarded with chat notifi

Misdreavus: Oh, wow! So much to read into! Hi, Miruko! I didn't know you were Deku-kun's auntie!

Shiny Lopunny: Oh hey.

**Cinderace, Chansey, Typhlosion, Espeon and Salazzle have entered the chat**

Cinderace: Back.

Typhlosion: Yo.

Chansey: That was...very concerning, honey.

Cinderace: You're not gonna ground me, are you?

Chansey: No. But, you and I need to have a serious chat about secrets young man.

Cinderace: I know Mom! I'm sorry. I didn't want you in danger and

Typhlosion: Guys we're back in the chat! Keep it private!

Cinderace: Sorry!

Chansey: Don't apologize. It's my fault. Besides, we're telling them this too.

Espeon: Yeah, that's...WAY more than I expected. I'm super proud to finally understand why you've been so skittish.

Salazzle: Yep! Finally the ultimate tea has been drunk. And I will keep it safe.

Espeon: Not really tea, if everyone's about to know.

Machamp: Know what?

Cinderace: Everyone. Meet in the 1-A Dorm room. There's some things you guys need to know.

Shiny Lopunny: OMW! I need to know this too.

**Chat has closed**


	6. Post OFA opinions from the Class! The Midoriya Tree is extensive!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for some explanations...and a BIT of Family History telling.

**Cinderace has opened Class 1-A Chat**

**Cinderace has invited 22 people**

Cinderace: So...How is everyone taking the news?

Chansey: Well, sweetie. They're taking it better than I did.

Shiny Lopunny: Big oof. Kid, you are a TANK for punishment. Next weekend, you and me, we're gonna do some Muay Thai training and gymnastics! Want my nephew tough and safe.

Chansey: That'd be wonderful of you, Rumi! Thank you for offering.

Cinderace: Uh, yeah! Thanks...Aunt Rumi. That's still taking getting used to.

Salazzle: Can I watch and record that, BTW.

Cinderace: O.o why record me and Aunt Rumi training? Wait...WAIT A MINUTE!

Shiny Lopunny: Sure! Midoriya and Usagiyama genes on full display!

Chansey: RUMI!

Shiny Lopunny: What?...Oh! Wait! Actually, never mind! That came out horribly! Record little bunny, sure but NOT ME!

Chansey: Not the point! The phrasing was what bothered me!

Espeon: Can I participate?

Chansey: O.O.

Cinderace: O.O.

Salazzle: Ooooh~! I'll get some good shots for the recording for ya, Chako.

Espeon: No. I wanna train and be stronger too!

Shiny Lopunny: Oh. Sure, Mochi girl. You can join us.

Cinderace: OH! Oh sweet All Might, that's perfectly fine.

Chansey: Yes. One thirsty girlfriend is more than I can deal with.

Salazzle: Mama Inko, Chako's been thirstier than me by a LONG shot.

Espeon: MINA!...I mean...she's not _completely_ wrong but...REALLY?!

Chansey: Izuku, I'm buying a box of contraceptives now.

Shiny Lopunny: That's a smart idea.

Cinderace: What is my life?!

Mega Pidgeot: A chaotic mess from which only Mina and Ochako are your primary sources of relief. Well, them and Eri.

Chansey: Who? Son, I thought the two girls were your ONLY girlfriends.

Cinderace: Eri's a little girl I rescued from Yakuza back in first year. Asui, Kirishima, Ochako and I were part of the rescue team. Along with our Senpais, Togata, Nejire and Amajiki.

Chansey: Can I meet her?

Cinderace: I'll contact Aizawa.

Espeon: Why do you have Aizawa-Sensei's number?

Cinderace: He gave it to me as an emergency number in case I get into trouble. For the 'umpteenth' time.

Typhlosion: To be fair, nerd. Ya get into some serious trouble without warning.

Cinderace: Yeah, sometimes cuz of you.

Ninetales: Bakugo. Do you need some aloe vera for that burn?

Typhlosion: Buff you, Deku. Buff you.

Conkeldurr: I'm sorry, but...Wha?

Typhlosion: While Inko's in the chat, I can't swear.

Manectric: Oh, that's so perfect.

Typhlosion: Meanwhile, YOU guys can't swear in front of Auntie either. My old lady tells me she got all the parents' contact numbers. And she never even met 'em!

Machamp: How does SHE have all of our parents contact numbers?

Chansey: Oh! I worked as a Secretary for a Law firm. Machamp...You're Eijirou Kirishima, yes? I met your mother at a Bake Sale recently.

Machamp: How did you know she was my Ma? And how did she know you?!

Chansey: Easy. She said I looked like Izuku. Green hair and eyes are very easy to distinguish features.

Cinderace: I have Mom's hair color, eyes and rounded eyes. I got my Dad's freckles, hair style and supposedly, I'll be as tall as him when I'm fully grown.

Noivern: How tall is your Dad?

Cinderace: About...6 foot 8 inches? Not counting the hair.

Ninetales: How tall is All Might again?

Tentacool: Not that stuff again, Todoroki!

Ninetales: No, not that. I want to compare notes on the height.

Cinderace: He's 7'3".

Ninetales: How?

Cinderace: You're talking to an All MIght Otaku. Get on my level.

Chansey: Oh! Ninetales is Shoto Todoroki correct?

Ninetales: Yes.

Chansey: How's Rei doing these days? She, Mitsuki-chan and I used to go to High School together.

Ninetales: ?! You knew my Mother back then?

Chansey: Of course! I tended to be around Mitsuki more often. Had to keep her out of trouble.

Typhlosion: So that's the white haired hottie and the green haired babe next to my Ma in those pictures. Those two looked--! Oh God...

Machamp: Babe?

Typhlosion: I need to use the bathroom.

Cinderace: Me too. Did you just say my Mom was hot? That's kinda concerning to tell me AND her in the chat.

Ninetales: I truly hope that Bakugo isn't saying my mother is what they call a...What's the word? I forgot.

**Typhlosion has left the chat**

Machamp: I'm going after him. I get the feeling I know what's happening with him...

**Machamp has left the chat**

Metagross: Midoriya.

Cinderace: Yes?

Metagross: I must say I am sorry.

Cinderace: For what?

Metagross: For not realizing the pressure all of us put on you in trying to confide your secrets to us. My intent was to help alleviate any undue stress during the internships. I wasn't thinking.

Cinderace: It's okay, Iida. First year was...a lot of things at once for us all. Besides, you had your brother issues too.

Metagross: I know! That's why I wanted to help you open up and know you have friends who can support you. As you and Uraraka tried for me.

Ninetales: Indeed. You had given an ear to our issues; my father and Iida's brother. We felt it necessary to offer ours to you.

Espeon: Yeah! You were really supportive when I told you my reason for wanting to be a Hero.

Shiny Meowth: You mean to support tes parents.

Espeon: ...How the hell did you KNOW?

Shiny Meowth: I was within earshot of you explaining to Iida and Midoriya. Also, Midoriya. We are more alike than I thought.

Cinderace: lol...yeah...I appreciate you cheering me up from back then.

Shiny Meowth: Vous êtes très bienvenu mon ami.

Shiny Lopunny: Thank God I got a translator in my phone. Jeez, I never took French.

Shiny Meowth: How dirty. You don't the sparkle.

Shiny Lopunny: Bitch, I don't need sparkles. I got a bunny tail and legs that never quit! I whoop ass!

Chansey: Rumi...

Shiny Lopunny: Let me have some fun, cousin.

Greninja: So, my questions about Midoriya's Quirk being like All Might had merit. Sorry, I made you worry.

Cinderace: It's okay, Asui.

Greninja: You're never gonna call me Tsu ever, huh?

Cinderace: I'm TRYING. Give me some slack. I grew up Quirkless. Most girls never were as nice as anyone here.

Misdreavus: You're old Middle School got totaled BTW.

Mankey: Yeah, the Principal got arrested and the teachers lost their licenses for neglectful behaviors. Nedzu is having a field day with the Deathstar Agency.

Cinderace: My old Middle School teacher came up to me recently and tried to have me put in a good word to 'avoid punishment'.

Shiny Lopunny:

Chansey:

Cinderace: Mom and Aunt Rumi allowed me to give the guy two middle fingers.

Espeon: I got a picture of that! [Insert picture of Midoriya giving the double bird to the Middle School teacher from episode 1].

Salazzle: I never felt so proud to call Deku my BF.

Manectric: LOL. That's karma!

Noivern: No. That's fucking comedy.

Hypno: It gets better~!

Honchkrow: How?

Hypno: I was there when it happened. This happened next [Picture of Mineta on his knees prostrating himself before Midoriya. Midoriya, Uraraka and Ashido are seething. Miruko and Inko are confused.].

Noivern: Pardon my French. No offense.

Shiny Meowth: Some taken.

Noivern: But, the bloody FUCK! Mineta's back?!

Cinderace: No. He wanted me to help him get a pardon to come back our class. Then he saw Aunt Rumi. And my Mom.

Mega Pidgeot: What did that creep do?

Salazzle: Hits on BOTH of 'em. Then Midoriya told him that Miruko's his Aunt and introduced his Mom to him. And then mentioned that kinky comment from a while back.

Shiny Lopunny: I so wanted to murder that fucktard.

Chansey: I never felt disgusted in my entire life. Hisashi would be burning with rage about it.

Ninetales: Wait. Burning?

Chansey: My husband has a Fire Breathing Quirk. He's pretty much like my son in personality. Sweet, kind...and like my son and I...very prone to crying.

Ninetales: Why is Midoriya's father never around?

Chansey: He works as an accountant for a big company in New York. It's called the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.

(Class types WTF)

Cinderace: What?

Espeon: Deku...Your Dad works for SHIELD!!!

Cinderace: Wha? Mom?

Chansey: In hindsight, this makes sense for why I met a man with an eyepatch saying my Husband does really good work in the States.

Manectric: O.o. Midoriya's Dad works as a Spy?

Chansey: No! He's an accountant. He told me specifically. I made sure Mr. Nicholas F. was telling me the truth. He was a surprisingly gentle man by the way for someone so intimidating.

Metagross: Apologies. But, to recap: Midoriya has All Might's Quirk.

(Class goes Yes).

Metagross: Miruko is Midoriya's Aunt through his Mother.

(Class agrees, Inko and Miruko join).

Metagross: Midoriya was Quirkless. His Father works in the United States. For SHIELD of all things. As an accountant?

Chansey: That about sums it up. Although, my husband mentioned a couple of cousins of his who work at an organization called...Overwatch?

Cinderace: Uncle Han and Uncle Gen?

Chansey: That's them!

Shiny Lopunny: Wait? HANZO and GENJI SHIMADA? They're your Dad's cousins?!

Cinderace: Yeah? What about 'em?

Espeon: Mina.

Salazzle: Chako?

Espeon: We're entering a family of high profile people.

Salazzle: Midoriya's name just went up in fear factor.

Espeon: Yup. I got dibs as first wife.

Cinderace: WHA?!

Salazzle: As long as I get to be first to bear his kids.

Cinderace: Don't I have a say in all this?!

Both: NO.

Chansey: Jeez, it's just like Hisashi all over again.

Cinderace: Mom...What do you mean?

Chansey: Well...Hisashi was an accidental Lady Killer himself when he and I met. Mitsuki and Rei both liked him. But, he politely refused and said, he was monogamous. And he picked me.

Cinderace: So...I inherited something from Dad aside from looks.

Chansey: Oh, trust me. His looks are the least of what you inherited.

Espeon: Was Hisashi...um...well...ya know...

Cinderace: OCHAKO!

Chansey: ///.

Cinderace: Oh God...KACCHAN!!!! WHERE'S YOUR BRAIN BLEACH?!

**Cinderace has left the chat**

Espeon: I was gonna ask if he was as flustered as Deku was when you two started dating.

Chansey: Oh, very much so. Like father like son.

Greninja: Oh good. I assumed Ochako-chan was talking about dick measurements or something.

Salazzle: No, that's my question.

Metagross: ASHIDO! That's highly inappropriate to ask.

Chansey: Uraraka. Ashido. You've seen my son's...right?

Greninja: I sense dread again.

Shiny Lopunny: All Might ain't got shit on Mamadoriya.

Both: Yes...Don't kill us.

Chansey:

Chansey: He's still growing.

(Class goes WTF!)

Both: ///.

Espeon: Oh All Might give me strength.

Salazzle: I need...I need to lie down.

**Espeon and Salazzle have left the chat**

Greninja: Kero...

Honchkrow: Tsuyu...My amphibious heart of hearts?

Greninja: Don't worry. What I'm hearing...actually scares me more than entices me. Can I come to your room and hug you. Please?

Honchkrow: You may. Dark Shadow gives good hugs.

Noivern: Damn.

Manectric: Freaking Midoriya. It's always the shy ones who become Sex Gods.

Chansey: Like I said, looks are the least he inherited from Hisashi. His hair will soon turn white around 20 years old. He'll be less flustered around girls by that age too. Hisashi was more affectionate by College.

Mega Pidgeot: When you say...Affectionate?

Chansey: Chocolates, poetry, dancing lessons.

Ninetales: Why couldn't my father be like Mr. Midoriya?

Chansey: Your father is Enji Todoroki? Endeavor? Right?

Ninetales: *Nods*.

Chansey: Ask him about Hisashi Akatani. Watch him squirm.

Ninetales: !!

Ninetales: Hagakure. Ojiro.

Mankey: Yeah?

Misdreavus: Yo?

Ninetales: Can you come with me to record that reaction? I need witnesses. I will pay well for it.

Mankey: Dude, seeing Endeavor sweat buckets at the mention of Midoriya's Dad's name? That's a free deal for me.

Misdreavus: I'll take Oji's cut.

Mankey: Fair.

Shiny Lopunny: I'm calling Hawks. He needs to see this! HAHA! Wait for me, Icy Hot! This bunny needs some comedy.

Metagross: Mrs. Midoriya. Aizawa is looking for you. He wants you to meet Eri. Also, I need to check with my friends, and Bakugo. Apparently he's screaming obscenities in the Class 1-B dorm. How did he get there?

Chansey: I believe I've mortified my son's friends enough. I am sorry about that.

Noivern: You kidding? This was fun!

Mega Pidgeot: I will take you to Eri and Aizawa. Please forgive Aizawa if he refers to your son as 'Problem Child'.

Chansey: ??? I will have words.

**Class 1-A chat has closed**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Endeavor FEARS The Midoriya patriarch...and secretly the Matriarch too!
> 
> I went a LITTLE high in the crack department.


	7. Class Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone takes One For All in and wonders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuku - Link/Cinderace.  
> Ochako - Zelda/Kirby/Espeon.  
> Tenya - Sonic/Metagross.  
> Bakugo - Demo Man/Typhlosion.  
> Kirishima - Knuckles/Machamp.  
> Mina - Rouge/Butt Stallion/Amy Rose/Salazzle.  
> Kaminari - Pichu/Manectric/Pachirisu.  
> Jirou - Noivern.  
> Shoto - Rhonin/Donald Duck/Ninetales/Vulpix.  
> Momo - Jaina/Mega Pidgeot/Milotic.  
> Kouda - Rexxar/Bunnelby.  
> Shoji - Tentacool.  
> Aoyama - Shiny Meowth.  
> Sero - PhilSwift (I'm not creative)/Spinarak.  
> Tokoyami - Honchkrow.  
> Tsuyu: Slippy/Greninja.  
> Satou - Guts Man/Conkeldurr.  
> Tooru - Cream/Misdreavus.  
> Ojiro - Tails/Mankey.  
> Shinsou - Hypno.  
> Miruko: Shiny Lopunny.  
> Inko: Chansey.  
> Melissa Shield: Zamazenta.  
> Mei: Klingklang.

**The Deku Squad chat room open**

**Metagross has invited 19 people to the chat room**

Metagross: Is everyone here?

Typhlosion: Dude. WTF. I'm tryna sleep here.

Machamp: Yeah. Same here.

Espeon: Tenya. What is going on?

Tentacool: If this is some rule being posted in the morning. WAIT UNTIL MORNING.

Conkeldurr: Yeah. If I get woken up early again, I'm rippin' yer door off and smackin' ya with it.

Metagross: No need for violence. I just wanted everyone's opinion on a matter with Midoriya.

Shiny Meowth: Monsieur Midoriya? Pourquoi?

Pachirisu: Yeah why--! WTF?! The hell's a Pachirisu?!

Noivern: HA! It's that Pikachu knock off from Gen 4. It's an electric Squirrel. It's got shitty stats! Oh, please tell me Green's responsible for this.

Milotic: I'm not sure, but...Milotic? Wait! I was Mega Pidgeot. I love that Pokemon.

Vulpix: And I'm not Ninetales. Dunno whether this is better or worse.

Salazzle: It's about the same, Sho.

Metagross: We are getting off topic! I wish to discuss what we think of the revelations we just encountered yesterday.

Espeon: Ya mean Midoriya's family being WAY more influential than we thought? Or the fact that All Might gave him his Quirk which is unlocking MORE older Quirks as he gets better?

Espeon: Because the former situation is more imposing to me than the latter.

Salazzle: Really? The fact that Deku's pretty much destined to be the next All Might is less important than Midoriya's messed up family tree?

Espeon: Honestly, One For All hurting Deku makes me actually...kind of hate it. I wish it didn't hurt him or tear him apart all the time when he used it.

Honchkrow: Sounds like you'd prefer if he remained Quirkless.

Espeon: If somehow the universe let him stay in our class without it then...Yes. I do kind of wonder what it'd be like if he didn't get at Quirk.

Salazzle: That's like wondering what it'd be like if Mineta was less of a perv.

Milotic: I would have sweet dreams if Mineta wasn't a disgusting perverted scumbag lower than maggots roasting in the pits of hell.

Noivern: Yaomomo?!

Milotic: Forgive me. I went too far.

Vulpix: Momo. Seeing you rage was...pleasantly attractive.

Milotic: ////.

Noivern: In Todoroki terms, he finds it sexy. And I agree.

Pachirisu: Damn right!

Vulpix: I can freeze you, Kaminari.

Misdreavus: Whoa, Todo. He's just agreeing wit' ya.

Vulpix: No comment.

Typhlosion: Can someone get this guy a blunt or something. His 'aloof' behavior's annoying my calm.

Vulpix: You have a calm?

Typhlosion: Ya want me to call yer old man?

Vulpix: They would never find your body.

Typhlosion: Well, well. Icy Hot's got some stones.

Machamp: Babe. Please...Todoroki can wake Midoriya up and we'd have another round of angry Midoriya.

Typhlosion: I can take 'Angry' Deku now. He got the drop on me last time.

Milotic: We have Midoriya's mother on speed dial in the common room phones.

Typhlosion: WHAT?! WHY?

Espeon: Insurance biatch.

Salazzle: HA! Hell yeah! Up top, cheeks!

Espeon: Down low! For the glow!

Typhlosion: Deku's got weird girlfriends.

Vulpix: Be thankful it's just them and not any others.

Typhlosion: Please don't. Mental images of him fucking other girls is worse than the mental images I dealt with yesterday.

Metagross: WILL WE PLEASE FOCUS DAMN YOU ALL!

Noivern: Iida. Calm yer tits. We're okay about that One For All stuff. Dude's got enough to deal with than us thinking less of him at all. Honestly, I'm impressed that thing's taking to him so well.

Milotic: Indeed. I remember All Might mention only his predecessor; a Ms. Nana Shimura, only had an inkling of these 'remnant users'.

Misdreavus: Is it bad that when I heard him mention 'Remnant', I thought of RWBY?

Spinarak: The hell's RWBY?

Misdreavus: Web cartoon. There's _supposed_ to be a new season soon but with all of the company members leaving and controversies in their organization, I get the feeling we'll never see it again. Which sucks because they end it on a super big cliffhanger.

Spinarak: Oh? What's that?

Misdreavus: Spoilers but the main bad lady shows up with an army of monsters, riding a GIANT WHALE monster as big as a floating island city.

Spinarak: Okay. Watching this series.

Mankey: Got me intrigued, babe.

Espeon: Back to One For All...

**Klingklang has entered the chat**

Klingklang: Oh? Muscles' Quirk?

Espeon: WHO THE HECK?!

Klingklang: Oh hey there, round cheeks. How's the suit mods I put in for ya?

Metagross: Mei?!

Klingklang: The one and only!

Hypno: Hello.

Klingklang: Hey, sugar.

Metagross:

Hypno:

Hypno: I have no idea where that even came from. I swear to All Might.

Klingklang: Tennie! Sweetums. I call Shinsou 'sugar' as an ironic thing. Dude's so sour he needs sweetening.

Hypno: Helps I'm learning to become the next Aizawa.

Spinarak: May God have mercy on the kids you teach when you become a Teacher.

Vulpix: So, who's this?

Metagross: Mei Hatsume. She's from the Support Course. And my Girlfriend. She also supplies Midoriya with his support gear.

Hypno: Also a BIT too touchy feely for Midoriya to handle.

Espeon:

Salazzle: Chako...Baby. Remember, Deku's sleeping right now and if you and dreadlocks go off, he WILL panic.

Conkeldurr: Why would he? Are you BOTH in his room right now?!

Salazzle: Pleading the fifth.

Espeon: Yes. We are. I was having nightmares about Deku's Quirk and Shigaraki...I called him and Mina and he had us come over so he could snuggle the nightmares away.

Noivern: Are his arms wrapped around you.

Salazzle: He's like a pupper when he sleeps. [Picture of Midoriya hugging a red eyed Uraraka. Midoriya is smiling and nuzzling his cheek against Uraraka's stomach].

Espeon: MINA! Don't show everyone that!

Misdreavus: That's so CUTE Q_Q I'm crying.

Milotic: I don't think I've seen Midoriya look so...So...

Vulpix: At peace. Usually he's fidgety, paranoid or shrunken in fear whenever Bakugo's around.

Typhlosion: I take full responsibility for that.

Espeon: I know. And I want to hurt you for that. BTW...I will kick you in the balls when we have a training exercise. No arguments.

Machamp: Why?!

Espeon: He knows. What he said. To my BABY.

Salazzle: Yeah, I'm miffed at Bakugo as much as Ochako is...But, replace ball kicking with melting your shit.

Typhlosion: Fair enough.

Machamp: You seem rather at peace with getting hurt by two girls, Bakugo. Why am I worried?!

Typhlosion: Honestly, since the Hound Dog therapy, I feel obligated to accept my punishments. Also, like Ochako can kick me that hard!

**Cinderace has entered the chat**

Cinderace: Don't insult my angels, Kacchan. She's a hot, bubbly badass. You will lose.

**Cinderace has left the chat**

Espeon:

Salazzle:

Typhlosion: He's not going to come at me right now is he?

Espeon: No, he conked back out. I think he sensed you insulting me. I'm kind of happy he praises me that much.

Salazzle: I think Midori's got a praise kink.

Machamp: What?

Salazzle: He always compliments us and tells us how awesome we are when we're hanging out or training together.

Noivern: Training?

Salazzle: Yes. Training. We don't JUST go out on dates and have...steamy encounters all the time. He helped me with my Quirk ideas and Ochako's control.

Milotic: Interesting. I have noticed your grade improve as well, Mina.

Salazzle: A personal negative with dating Midoriya. Dude's about as harsh as you with tutoring me.

Espeon: I have pictures of him hovering over her when she does homework. It's super cute. The rewards are worth it though, right, Mina?

Salazzle: Oh fuck the hell yes~~~!

Greninja: Oh boy...Don't tell me you both.

Salazzle: His back massages and chiropractics are just soooo soothing.

Greninja: I can't honestly tell if she's using innuendos.

Espeon: We're being sincere. He knows how to fix a stiff spinal column.

Tentacool: O.O.

Bunnelby: That's mine! :(

Tentacool: Sorry, Koda.

Klingklang: So...about Muscles' Quirk. Is it that big a deal?

Typhlosion: HOW DO YOU KNOW IT?!

Klingklang: Oh, Tennie forgot his cell was on and I heard the conversation. I don't really get what's so bad about his Quirk. Means he can use more of my babies.

Metagross: My phone was ON?!

Typhlosion: You asshole.

Pachirisu: Wait...It was YOU who messed up my name.

Klingklang: Yup. Felt the name changes were fitting. Also, I have a friend who wants to see Muscles tomorrow. Can he host her for the day?

Espeon: What friend?! WHY Deku!

Salazzle: Yeah, who's the metal head you wanna throw onta him?!

**Klingklang has invited Zamazenta to chat room**

Zamazenta: Hi, I'm Melissa Shield. I heard you guys are friends with Izuku Midoriya. I'm going to be working on campus as a Quirkless student consultant.

Typhlosion: Why the fuck would we need a 'Quirkless' Consultant?

Zamazenta: Because I'm Quirkless. Also, my Dad wanted me to make friends with All Might's apprentice.

Typhlosion: Of course, a Quirkless girl wants to hang with Deku.

Zamazenta: What?

Espeon: It's me, Ochako. We met at I-Island?

Zamazenta: Oh my gosh! Ochako! I remember you! When I emailed Midoriya a few times, he told me so much about you!

Espeon: He spoke to you. In private. Without me knowing?

Zamazenta: I was in correspondence to send him a replacement Full Gauntlet. Two new ones for both arms to modify to his Air Force Gloves.

Zamazenta: I ask him if he's made friends. And you are always the first one he updates me on. I swear he sounds like he wants to marry you sometimes.

Espeon: /////////.

Salazzle: Mina Ashido, here. Ochako can't come to the phone right now because she's floating to the ceiling and blushing like a tomato. And Midoriya just woke up and is dealing with her.

Zamazenta: So...is it okay if I see him?

Salazzle: No problem. As long as you know his GFs are gonna be with him too.

Zamazenta: GFs. As in more than ONE girlfriend?

Metagross: Indeed. Mina, Ochako and Midoriya are in a polyamorous relationship.

Zamazenta:

Zamazenta: Can I ask something next time I see you three together? In private?

Salazzle: Sure?

Honchkrow: Intriguing. Still Midoriya's Quirk is not that big of a deal now that we understand the pressures he dealt with. And of his past.

Greninja: Yeah. Midoriya needs people who understand his issues. Glad he trusts us all.

Spinarak: Sorry, guys I'm going to bed. I got a date tomorrow and I need shut-eye.

Noivern: LOL. You. Date? Who?

Spinarak: Ibara. She asked me out.

Machamp: Nice. Proud of ya, bro.

**_TO BE CONTINUED_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed Ninetales to Vulpix cuz my fingers seem hellbent on writing VULPIX for Shoto. Damn Group 1-A Hell Chat. I still want Midoriya and Uraraka to hook up there.


	8. Updating the Roster...And some 'American Pie'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ERI JOINS THE CHAT FOR REALSIES!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Izuku - Link/Cinderace.  
> Ochako - Zelda/Kirby/Espeon.  
> Tenya - Sonic/Metagross.  
> Bakugo - Demo Man/Typhlosion.  
> Kirishima - Knuckles/Machamp.  
> Mina - Rouge/Butt Stallion/Amy Rose/Salazzle.  
> Kaminari - Pichu/Manectric/Pachirisu.  
> Jirou - Noivern.  
> Shoto - Rhonin/Donald Duck/Ninetales/Vulpix.  
> Momo - Jaina/Mega Pidgeot/Milotic.  
> Tokoyami - Honchkrow.  
> Tsuyu: Slippy/Greninja.  
> Shinsou - Hypno.  
> Melissa Shield: Zamazenta.  
> Mei: Klingklang.  
> Eri: Mew.

One week has passed since Melissa's arrival and tour of UA. She's become nestled in with the new roster of students and classmates. Class 1-A, barring Bakugo's distant reluctance, has taken to her quite nicely. Especially Deku and Ochako.

During that time, Bakugo and Kirishima have dropped their relationship from a romance to a simple bromance. No explanation has been outwardly given, but, Bakugo has been rather somber before the break. Deku worries that his old friend's guilty conscience has been affecting the relationship to the red head.

**Machamp has opened a Private Chat**

**Machamp has invited Cinderace, Espeon, Salazzle to Chat**

Machamp: Hey, Deku-Bro...Can we...Talk man?

Cinderace: Sure! I heard you and Kacchan aren't dating anymore. You okay, man?

Machamp: Oh yeah! I'm A-OK. Trust me. Baku-Bro's just dealing with some things.

Espeon: You sure? You two were really glued to the hip, buddy.

Machamp: Yeah...It's not him...It's uh...It's...Um...

Salazzle:

Espeon: Mina? What's wrong? I noticed you've been kinda distant lately too.

Salazzle:

Machamp:

Cinderace: Wait...I think I know what's going on.

Machamp: I don't think you do.

Salazzle: Please, Midori. Babe, I don't wanna upset you but

Cinderace: You and Mina have been together a lot since the breakup with Kacchan. Mina's been distant from Ochako and I. Mina...did you and Kirishima hook up?

Salazzle:

Machamp:

Machamp: Please! Don't hate her! It's my fault! After me and Bro split, she and I hung out and I...I just...

Espeon: Mina! Is this true?!

Salazzle: D: Please, blame me! One thing led to another and...I couldn't let my Horn Buddy be upset. It just started off as me comforting him and it just...

Machamp: Escalated.

Espeon: In less than a WEEK?!

Cinderace: It's okay.

Espeon: :O.

Salazzle: O.o.

Machamp: The freak?

Cinderace: I'm not that upset by it. I have a confession to make in regards to that.

Espeon: What?

Cinderace: I saw you and Mina kissing under a cherry blossom tree on Friday. I didn't know why, but, I wasn't upset. But, really happy.

Espeon: I mean...Wait...How?! Why aren't you miffed?

Cinderace: Remember, I said that Mina and my relationship was rather...casual. It started because she was sad Kirishima and Bakugo were dating. It also started with _me_ comforting _her_.

Espeon: True. You did say that.

Salazzle: Midori...

Cinderace: I will treasure the fun times we had together, Mina. But, I could tell from some of your glances that you still cherish Kirishima over anyone else.

Salazzle: Well...He's always been my Horn Buddy.

Machamp: DEKU-BRO! YOU ARE THE EPITOME OF MANHOOD! ToT

Cinderace: I'm not that manly. I was going to confront Mina about it later today. Guess this speeds up the process.

Salazzle: So...You n' Chako are okay with me...Not being part of the cuddle party?

Cinderace: I will miss the way you fluff my hair up when I'm too wired to sleep.

Espeon: I will miss you helping me with gymnastic stretching. Even when you make me do it in front of Deku.

Salazzle: Oh, don't tell me you didn't like flaunting the goods to Midori~! I recall he enjoyed your goods a LOT~~.

Espeon: ///.

Cinderace: ///. I will admit I've come to appreciate Ochako's feminine charms thanks to you.

Espeon: <3\. I had a good teacher.

Salazzle: XD.

Machamp: Mina, you are an evil minx and I love you for it.

Salazzle: And I <3 my horn buddy.

Espeon: Speaking of love. What WAS going on with you n Bakugo? I know he remembers your name more than any of us...Why DID you two hook up back then?

Cinderace: Ochako, he remembers your name too.

Espeon: Just because he respects me for a being a fighter, I don't appreciate his attitude towards you all the damn time. No one mocks my babe.

Cinderace: :).

Machamp: It was just something he and I decided to try. There were these weird feelings going on and we decided to give it a college try, right? It felt okay. But, then things just started to...go wayside.

Cinderace: I'm to blame for that.

Machamp: No! I mean...I guess?

Espeon: Kirishima...

Cinderace: Ochako...

Espeon: It's not your fault! It's

Cinderace: Kacchan and I have had bad history. Kirishima has a right to put that into perspective. I never mean to but my original Quirklessness and wanting to be a Hero did kind of set Kacchan down his ways. The fact that the teachers we had growing up before UA did...Nothing...Was a factor.

Machamp: Speaking of...whatever happened to that teacher you gave the birds to?

Cinderace: lol, Aunt Rumi called Hawks for pickup. Now he wants me to call him Uncle Hawks, as he's now trying to court Aunt Rumi. Apparently they were friends in High School back in the day.

Machamp: Your family is freaking

Salazzle: Nuts! You have the Shimada family as Uncles, Miruko as an Aunt, your Dad is in SHIELD. Under Nick Fury of all people. How much you wanna bet he's met Captain America.

Cinderace:

Espeon: Deku?

Cinderace: [Picture of Hisashi in office worker attire shaking hands with Captain America; Hisashi is sweating buckets and has a puddle of sweat at his feet. Cap is chuckling].

Salazzle: Holy FUCK!

Machamp: Damn!

Espeon: I bet Deku could kick Cap's butt.

Cinderace: Let's not start theories. Since I heard Captain America just became the new Director of Shield. Nick Fury's a consultant to him now.

Espeon: Okay. But, I bet Deku would win.

Machamp: I'll take that action.

Salazzle: Oh yeah, baby!

Cinderace: Oh...All Might give me strength XD.

**Private Chat closed**

Two days later...

**Cinderace has opened the Class 1-A chat room**

**Cinderace has invited 13 people to chat**

Cinderace: Hey everybody! So, how did everyone handle Present Mic's English test.

Salazzle: It was harder than I expected. Why are we missing people?

Machamp: Some of the class asked to do remedial English stuff to better their grades.

Typhlosion: Screw 'em. I've got better.

Espeon: And you call Deku the nerd.

Typhlosion: He's a fucking nerd! Have you seen his dorm room?

Espeon:

Typhlosion: Oh...Right. Girlfriend. Does he turn around his All Might shit when you two bang?

Cinderace: KACCHAN!

Espeon: BAKUGO!

Typhlosion: Oh, like that hasn't crossed yer mind, Round Face. All those faces...smiling...staring.

Espeon:

Cinderace:

Machamp: Dude...

Typhlosion: Okay fine...I'm soooo....I'm so....I...apolo...

Machamp -_-. He says he's sorry.

Typhlosion: That.

Cinderace: One of these days Kirishima won't speak for you.

Typhlosion: I know. But, he's still better than most of the shitty extras here.

Cinderace: Name one.

Typhlosion: Copy Cat bitch.

Metagross: Bakugo that's completely out of line. Monoma is NOT a

Cinderace: No, I kind of agree with Kacchan there.

Typhlosion: Huh. We agree on something for once. That's...fucking impressive.

Metagross: MIDORIYA?!

Cinderace: Monoma's a massive jerk! He keeps bugging Class 1-A about 1-B being better and he never shuts up whenever we get a lower grade than his class. We got better things to do than GLOAT.

Typhlosion: Speak for yourself.

Cinderace: I am actually. You gloat because it ticks him off.

Zamazenta: That's the blonde boy in the tux suit right? I saw him kissing that girl Pony's hand once. He seemed rather gentlemanly.

(Class types HUH?!)

Zamazenta: What?

Cinderace: Monoma...The guy who did a really good DIO BRANDO pose during the Joint Training Exercise...Was gentlemanly...to PONY TSUNOTORI?!

Zamazenta: Yes?

Cinderace: I feel I've been denied.

Metagross: Critical.

Espeon: Need to know.

Typhlosion: Information.

Vulpix: That is quite intriguing. He's still a dick, though.

Milotic: Yes. Very much so.

Noivern: Dude needs to smoke some weed or some shit.

Pachirisu: Yeah...Can someone change my name to something else?

Noivern: Please no. This is adorable.

Pachirisu: There goes your chance to come with me to the upcoming Aerosmith concert.

Noivern: I was going to go with Momo actually.

Milotic: Actually, I'm not an Aerosmith fan, Jirou. I apologize.

Noivern: Kaminari, what do I gotta do to let you bring me to that concert????

Pachirisu: Change my name to something better than Pachirisu.

Zamazenta: Can I?

Pachirisu: What do you got?

**Zamazenta changed Pachirisu's name to Zapdos**

Zapdos: YES!

Noivern: Am I still coming with you to the Aerosmith concert?

Zapdos: I dunno...

Noivern: If you don't you will suffer. I can convince Momo to convince Todoroki to make your life a frozen hell.

Vulpix: Why bring me in to this?

Noivern: You're a useful threatening person?

Vulpix: In terms of influences, Midoriya actually is slightly higher tier than Momo.

Cinderace: ME?!

Espeon: WHA?!

Vulpix: You helped me get over my issues with my father. And Father is going through marriage counselling with Mother.

Cinderace: Wait? Really?

Vulpix: Also, he has been working to mend his behavior with Fuyumi and Natsuo. Fuyumi is eager to reunite the family...but Natsuo.

Cinderace: No, I get it. Slow going.

Milotic: So...You respect Midoriya's word over mine?

Vulpix:

Milotic:

Cinderace: I really don't wanna be the center of another pair of people splitting up. Please not another one.

Milotic: Another?!

Machamp: Me and Bakugo.

Typhlosion: Of course you blame yourself. You always

Vulpix: What stopped him?

Machamp: I smacked him upside the head. He's rubbing his head now and grunting at me. He's my BFF, but Deku-Bro. Don't blame yourself for Baku-Bro and my break up. It's okay, dude.

Vulpix: Momo...I apologize for my verbage. I do respect your word. But, I would rather not be used as a threatening tool.

Milotic: Oh, that's much more understandable. I just thought it was something else. By the by...are we on for the Concerto?

Noivern and Zapdos: THE WHAT?!

Vulpix: Yes, Momo and I are going to a classical opera concerto at the Dagobah Municipal Park Beach. It's not a large crowd, but, I do enjoy Mozart.

Metagross: Interesting, Mei and I are going there as well.

Espeon: MEI likes Classic Music?

Klingklang: Um, yeah? Classic music helps the brain flow better. Oh, did the Vehicons get to you yet?

Cinderace: Aunt Rumi and I wrecked them a while back. Speaking of Aunt Rumi, I'm gonna have to call her and Mom about those dinner reservations. We'll be missing a person.

Salazzle: Oh man, I'm so sorry!

Noivern: Wait? Mina, you dumped Deku and Ocha?

Salazzle: Well...It's less a dumping and more transferring my affections to someone else.

Zapdos: What's that supposed to mean?

Typhlosion: She and Shark Face are hooked up. Gotta say, losing him to Raccoon Eyes...Not too bad.

Zapdos: Mina...You and Kirishima?!

Salazzle: ...Yes?

Noivern: Ya know...I always thought you both would hook up instead of Blasty Boy. No offense, Blasty. Actually...Yes, ALL the offense.

Typhlosion: Wanna know what's like to be deaf for a day?

Zapdos: Don't even try it, loud mouth!

Typhlosion: You think you can take ME?!

Zapdos: No! But, I'm not letting you hurt my jamming pal!

Noivern:

Greninja: Jirou and I are at the pool. She's lounging on her chair and her face went super red. What did---Oh.

Typhlosion: Would be you get brave when your crush is involved.

Zapdos: I may be dork. I may be a coward...Hell, my Quirk may SUCK. But, NO ONE THREATENS KYOKA!

Honchkrow: While I do find this show of love for a classmate highly impressive, remember Ms. Midoriya has been visiting the campus more often as of late. And Miruko as well.

Cinderace: Oh, Mom and Lunch Rush are supposedly having a Bake Sale with Satou assisting. Cookies, Brownies, Cakes. You name it, she'll bake it.

Zamazenta: Apple Pie?

Cinderace: Yup.

Typhlosion: Aunt Inko makes some good eats. I should know, Deku gave me some before.

Espeon:

Typhlosion: What?

Salazzle: I may not be Midori's GF...but, Deku 'gave' you some of Inko's food before?

Typhlosion: Yeah! I never take his food! I'm not that kind of asshole!

Espeon: Deku. Fact check. Please.

Cinderace: He's being truthful. I gave him some Peanut Butter and Chocolate Chip Cookies when we were younger. We were like...5 years old?

Typhlosion: Yeah. Good times.

Cinderace: Mom made them for the entire class. So I gave them to everyone.

Machamp: Your Mom's a fucking angel dude. No wonder you grew up so sweet.

Cinderace: ///.

Typhlosion: Dude, I may be an ass to you, but, Shitty Hair's right. You did grow up sweet. And soft.

Vulpix: Watch it.

Hypno: Don't push it.

Espeon: DEKU PROTECTION SQUAD! ASSEMBLE!

Cinderace/Typhlosion: WHAT?!

Espeon: President Uraraka Ochako!

Metagross: Treasurer Iida Tenya!

Vulpix: Vice President Todoroki Shoto.

Greninja: Aquatic Recon Expert Asui Tsuyu.

Honchkrow: Gothic Assassin Tokoyami Fumikage.

Salazzle: :O.

Typhlosion: Where did they go?!

Cinderace: GAHHHH!!!

Typhlosion: What the?!

Cinderace: They're all hugging me! I'm being glomped to death!

Noivern: Let it happen, man. They're your closes pals.

Milotic: Can I be the Treasurer instead?

Cinderace: O.O

Noivern: !!

Metagross: Co-Treasurer. It was Aoyama's idea for this little group.

Cinderace: WHAT'S HIS ROLE?!

Metagross: Secretary.

Cinderace: Anyone else?

Espeon: Eri is club mascot.

Cinderace: ERI?!

**Mew has entered the chat**

Mew: Hello.

Zamazenta: I assume this is Eri?

Mew: Hi.

Typhlosion: The squirt's a Mew? Why would she

Vulpix: Kirishima, did you?

Machamp: No. I think he's just broken from seeing a 'Deku Protection Squad'.

Espeon: I love my BF. So, I accepted being President. Mina was technically Co-President before departing for 'Kirishima Riot Crew'.

Machamp: That name is AWESOME. Wait, who's part of THAT?

Salazzle: Myself as President. Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu as Vice President. Kendou Itsuka is VP Bodyguard and Fatgum is Sponsoring. Whoever Fatgum is. We're still working on recruits. Trying to get Amajiki Tamaki to be part of it too, but, he's being nervous about it.

Machamp: DAMN!

Cinderace: At least the roster isn't any bigger. I dunno if I can handle how big these 'Protection Clubs' get.

Mew: Togata is Senior Bodyguard.

Cinderace: WHA?

Mew: Nejire is Senior Bodyguard's Partner.

Cinderace: STAHP!

Noivern: Woah, Midoriya can't spell right.

Mew: All Might is Sponsoring.

Cinderace: Okay, that's fair. He's my mentor.

Mew: Mama Inko is Head Sponsor.

Cinderace: You roped my MOTHER into this? C'mon guys!

Mew: And they wanted to know if a 'Melissa Shield' would like to be Foreign Amabassdor.

Cinderace: Melissa, please no.

Zamazenta:

Cinderace: Melissa?

Epseon: Melissa?

Zamazenta: Foreign President.

Cinderace/Espeon: FOREIGN PRESIDENT. YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON ME/DEKU?!

Zamazenta: Yeah...So, since Mina vacated her position...Sorry, about that, can I take it?

Salazzle: Deku and Ochako having a taste of that 'American Pie'?...Color me intrigued.

Typhlosion: BASTARD! WHY DO SO MANY CHICKS DIG YOU?!

Zamazenta: I created an in-depth profile that shows why Midoriya has so many lady fans. I can send it if you want?

Typhlosion: I was being rhetorical. I don't wanna see that. I wouldn't have enough brain bleach.

Cinderace: ...What is my life?!

Mew: You're my Hero? And we all love you?

Typhlosion: I DON'T!

Mew: Private Kota...One scrotum needs your skills.

Typhlosion: Private WH

**Baby Waterhose entered the chat**

Baby Waterhose: Tango down. Back to you Corporal Eri.

**Baby Waterhose left the chat**

Cinderace: KOTA?! Oh good god...I actually wanna see Shigaraki's face right now.

**Chat has closed for the day**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The meta is referenced.
> 
> Mina and Kirishima hook up.
> 
> The Deku Protection Squad is revealed.
> 
> Kota punched BAKUGO.
> 
> Deku has a crisis. And some American Pie.
> 
> Good god...am I mental, or a genius? You be the judge.


	9. It's Ladies' Night! Oh, it's Ladies' Night~!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls discuss recent events!
> 
> But, Jirou worries about her relationships...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Class 1-A girls only and Melissa and Mei!

**Momo has opened the Girls' Night Chat**

**Momo has invited 8 people to chat**

Momo: Good evening everyone. How has everyone's night been so far?

Ochako: Very nice. Just got back from dinner with Deku's mom and Aunt Rumi. I still can't get over that.

Tsuyu: How was the dinner? Go anywhere nice?

Ochako: Nope. Just a home cooked meal. It's so weird seeing Miruko in casual gear. If only Hawks didn't interrupt the nightly festivities.

Mina: HAWKS?! What was that dork doing there?

Ochako: He wanted to ask Miruko on a date. Miruko just laughed and slammed the door in his face.

Mina: She knows how to play hard to get. The door didn't?

Ochako: Almost. Miruko asked Cementoss to help make a tougher door for the Midoriya household.

Kyoka: Miruko is fucking insane.

Momo: I must admit...she is rather...spirited.

Tsuyu: Midoriya-chan's family is quite rowdy. Despite how nebbish he acts.

Ochako: Hey! That's my BF you're talking about!

Tsuyu: You can't blame me if he a bit like that.

Ochako:

Mina: Chako...You've got to admit. Deku can be a bit of a nerd sometimes.

Ochako: Fine. But, he's getting better.

Mina: Better in bed too, right?

Ochako ///. I plead the fifth.

Mina: HA! She loves her green tea! And I love my Red Pepper.

Kyoka: Oh lord...The boys got nicknames?

Tooru: What do you call Denki? Yellow lightning?

Kyoka: No. I call him Jamming Whey. He's a dork.

Tooru: He seemed really protective of you lately since I heard Bakugo said he'd make you deaf.

Kyoka: Fucker never means it. He knows better. And I got a medical note from Recovery Girl. Bakugo respects that rule.

Mina: How?

Kyoka: Recovery Girl's the White Mage. You don't FUCK with a White Mage. Especially when you need healing.

Momo: That's quite excellent. Bakugo has been rather laid back of late.

**Mei has entered the chat**

Mei: He's also been talking to someone off campus.

Ochako: Hatsume?!

Mei: The one and only, babies.

Momo: Hatsume. What do you mean by Bakugo talking to someone.

Mei: I somehow hacked into his phone when I was trying to hack into Iida's.

Momo: Why were you

Mei: I forgot Iida's phone number so I needed to get it again.

Kyoka: Couldn't you just...text him or I dunno...Go to his room and ASK HIM?!

Mei: That's too boring. Besides, I needed practice with software work.

Ochako:

Tsuyu:

Momo: Iida has my sympathies.

Chat agrees.

Momo: So, Kyoka. How was the rock concert with Kaminari?

Kyoka: It was...It was okay, I guess.

Momo: Okay? You were blushing like a bride at her wedding day. What went wrong? Did Kaminari hurt you? If he did, you can tell me. I promise not to harm him. I'd just talk to him.

Ochako: And you guys say I'm over the top.

Tsuyu: You are.

Mina: Yeah. You wrecked Mei's stuff when you know she's not that into Deku.

Mei: Oh, I'm into him. But, only in the sense of he's a good test subject. I like my men really tall.

Ochako:

Tsuyu: Ochako-chan. Easy girl. We're in the kitchen and Ochako was making a chocolate cake.

Mina: I'll come over. Kiri's with Baku in the gym sparring. Ha...I'm glad things are relatively normal.

Tooru: Deku is sleeping with Ochako and Melissa. How's that normal?

Ochako: It's unique for us, sure. But, we're okay.

Melissa: Yeah. Boy has gotten more confident lately with us around.

Mina: I've been an influence too.

Melissa: I give better head scratches.

Mina: Debatable. LOL.

Kyoka: Yaomomo. It's nothing. Denki was very polite. The venue just ended up being less than ideal. Fucking drunk prick ruined my favorite leather jacket.

Momo: Denki ruined your jacket? One moment, I need to speak to

Kyoka: DENKI DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BAD TO ME! HE WAS THE BEST HE'S EVER BEEN!

Momo: Then who?

Kyoka: Some drunk asshole. He spilled beer on my jacket and then tried to shove his tongue in my mouth. Denki shocked him and told him to buzz off. Honestly, it was the hottest thing he ever did.

Momo: Oh. I apologize. You're my best friend so I was worried about you. Then...if the date went well...why did you sound shy?

Kyoka: It's just...Denki was so nice and courteous. It was so...WEIRD.

Tsuyu: Without Mineta to be a perverted influence on the class, Denki's probably being a better gentleman.

Kyoka: No. He's still a thundering dumb ass.

Ochako: Ppppffffftttttt!!!

Kyoka: What?

Kyoka: Oh! HA! I didn't realize what I said.

Mei: So, why the hesitation, rocker babe? Does he not 'rock your world'?

Kyoka: HATSUME!

Ochako: So, this is what it's like to be on the giving end of a teasing. Feels nice not to be targeted anymore.

Kyoka: Watch it, Mochi! Need I remind you your BF bangs you in front of an All Might shrine. All those faces...staring...smiling...posing.

Ochako: THAT was not funny.

Mina: Yeah. Leave Chako out of it. Just because you and Denki haven't done the deed, doesn't mean you have to mock Ochako or Melissa for having done it with theirs. Or me with mine.

Melissa: You and Kirishima?

Mina: Doi.

Tooru: Hey, why am I hearing crying?

Momo: Jirou is in my room. She is the one crying. I do not

Tsuyu: Momo? Jirou?

Kyoka: Sorry...I just...I'm scared, okay!

Mina: Scared...Of what?

Kyoka: Committing to someone.

Kyoka: I spent my whole life being...casual to the idea of romance. A permanent romantic life style? I'm just worried, okay?!

Ochako: Worried about what? It sounds like Kaminari's doing everything he can to be worthy of you. That's actually quite nice.

Kyoka: I know! But, I'm not worthy! He's been so nice and polite. He helped me let out my passion for singing out and he's improved himself quite well.

Momo: Then why is it a problem?

Tooru: Yeah! Sounds like you mean a lot to him!

Kyoka: And he does to me! But...I'm a Bisexual MESS! I've jabbed him, stabbed him my jacks. Smacked him and berated him for all his dumb moments and yet he STILL has the hots for me! He defended me from Bakugo and even defended my figure against MINETA.

Mina: The perv? What's his beef with you?

Kyoka: My bust size. He mocks me for being flat chested. And that my butt is ugly.

Momo: If he were still in UA, I'd have him castrated.

Kyoka: I think you'd be preaching to the choir, Mo.

Ochako: So glad Deku kicked his ass outta UA. Both figuratively but oh so delightfully literally.

Mina: Dude could be an awesome Soccer or Football player with those legs.

Ochako: Legs for days...Maybe that's what he got from the 'Miruko' side of the family. Good leg work.

Melissa: I'm still processing how Midoriya has Uncle Might's Quirk. I never knew that Uncle Might had such a power before.

Ochako: Personally, is it bad I still would have liked Deku to never have gotten One For All and be here Quirkless. He'd still be awesome.

Mina: I'm not sure. But, we can't change the past. Besides, he's here now and you love him for it.

Ochako: HECK YEAH!

Melissa: Indubitably.

Kyoka: Green's been a solid here.

Ochako: Getting off topic. Why don't you feel worthy of Kaminari? Just because you tend to mess with him, it never changes much. He cares. That should be enough.

Kyoka: But...I just...I dunno. I don't find myself pretty compared to Momo or anyone else here.

Melissa: I'm not sure I speak for everyone but, looks are not everything. You have a distinct personality, an image defined by your actions and Kaminari has seen it. If I were to admit to it, you are a beauty in and of yourself. Be proud.

Momo: Yes! You should be proud of yourself. Your voice alone helped so many! Even Eri-chan! Did you know she wants you to teach her to sing too?

Kyoka: ///.

Tsuyu: Hey, Momo...Not to change the subject but how was your date with Todoroki?

Momo: It was quite lovely. We also saw Iida and Mei. Even Kendou and Tetsutetsu were there. I didn't expect them there. But, I did anticipate Tetsu to fall asleep halfway through.

Mei: Until the 1812 Overture. He loved that cannon.

Momo: I remember. Kendou laughed so hard at Tetsu fanboying over a CANNON. Although, I'm surprised he knew so much about the specs of artillery.

Ochako: T4 knows artillery? What's that?

Momo: Cannons, Mortar, things like that. Apparently he always wanted be King of a Castle with lots of cannons. But, aside from that Todoroki has asked me out to a dinner at the Haute Couture restaurant in Hokkaido. Apparently, he wants me to meet his Mother.

Mina: Moving really fast, eh, Mo?

Momo: ///. I wanted to introduce him to my parents, but they're in Paris, at the moment with a fashion show.

Mina: You're parents are the richest in the world, Mo.

Momo: No, we're not! My family's not that rich!

Ochako: You're talking to someone who has little to NO money. Trust me, if what Kaminari said a long while back is true, you've got bank! So, does Todoroki. Oh!

Momo: What?

Ochako: Todoroki just came over with Deku! He has one of Deku's models in his...LOL!!!!

Everyone else: O.o.

Ochako: Todoroki has this model that Deku custom painted after him: [Todoroki holding the Jiyan Altron Gundam. It's colored blue for the costume and the tiger is made red for his fire half. The wolf half is snow-white].

Mina: Pppfffftt! HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my god!

Ochako: Todoroki is confused but he's okay with it.

Momo: That is...intriguing.

Ochako: And Deku's got this: [Izuku holding RX-Zeromaru Shinki Kessho]

Tsuyu: That reminds me of his costume and the green lining fits his Quirk.

Ochako: Sorry, girls Deku wants me for a spar. You all have fun!

Kyoka: Kami's calling me. Wants to know if we're up for a music session in my room. Later!

Mina: Don't bite him _TOO_ hard.

Kyoka: I will fucking stab you with my earphone jacks!

Mina: You're not denying it.

Tooru: Oji's texting me. Wants to know if I wanna hang. BYE!

Tsuyu: I'll go see if Fumikage's got new poetry tonight.

Momo: Well...This has been a night. Good night and talk to you all tomorrow.

Mei: I'm gonna see about Iida's number still.

Melissa: Mei! I have his number. Sent it now.

Mei: Why do you have it?

Melissa: Everyone gave me their numbers. May I have yours?

Mei: SENT! From one inventor to another!

Melissa: XD.

Mei: XD.

**Chat has closed**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time


	10. Kiss Marry Kick - Class 1-B enters and MONOMA SUFFERS!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class 1-B enters the Chat...Some people shouldn't have...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All chat names are defaulted.

**Izuku has opened Class 1-A Chat Room**

**Izuku has invited several people to Chat**

Izuku: Hey everyone. Sorry to say but Aizawa-Sensei's asked me to revert everyone's name to defaults.

Ochako: It's okay. Being called Espeon did get weird for me.

Bakugo: Damn. I liked that nickname.

Tenya: I for one am glad to no longer be that Pokemon. I looked into it. I did not approve. Even it's "Mega" Form was...disturbing.

Mina: Oh you're just miffed you didn't have a cool Pokemon.

Eri: I liked Mew. It was cute.

Mina: And pink!

Eri: Yeah! I like Pink things.

Mina: That's why we're horn buddies, kiddo :)

Eri: ///.

Kirishima: Mina, you're making her blush.

Ochako: I wear pink. Do you like me too, Eri?

Eri: YEAH! I love my mama!

Chat: WHA!?

Izuku: Eri? What did you call Ochako?

Eri: Mama? Is that bad?

Ochako N-no. But...Why Mama?

Eri: I asked Aizawa what a Mama and Papa were. He told me they were people who loved and took care of me. So...You and Papa are my parents?

Mei: Who is Papa?

Mina: I think I know~.

Aoyama: Moi aussi.

Eri: Deku's my Papa! And Melissa's my second Mama...since she's kissing Papa and Mama all the time.

Bakugo: Oh, fucking hell.

Ochako: .

Izuku: .

Bakugo: What?!

Eri: Uncle Kaka said a bad word.

Chat: ROFLMAO.

Bakugo: I'm WHAT?!

Eri: Uncle Kaka.

Jirou: I love this little runt.

Eri: Oh! Auntie Kyo!

Jirou: !! ///.

Kaminari: What's my name, Eri?

Eri: Uncle Dopey.

Jirou: *Sputters in laughter*.

Kaminari: ...Yeah, I can accept that.

Shoto: And me?

Eri: Uncle Sho. I was watching a show called RWBY and I saw an 'Uncle Qrow'. Qrow...Sho...Sounded the same.

Shoto:

Momo: Todoroki?

Shoto: My chest felt tight for some reason. Why?

Momo: That's your heart swelling with pride.

Shoto: Am I in danger? I'm already worried about my hand crushing habits, but my heart shouldn't be swelling.

Momo: Todoroki...It means she made you happy. It's an expression. What's this about hand crushing?

Izuku: Don't start. He thinks he's responsible for my hands being damaged or Tenya's arm injury from the Stain Incident.

Shoto: I was!

Izuku: And I'm saying no! I hurt myself with my Quirk! Tenya got STABBED BY STAIN in the arm!

Shoto: Oh. Huh.

Eri: Uncle Sho is weird.

Izuku: Ask him about his conspiracy theories and you'll see weirder.

Shoto: Says the boy who's Miruko's nephew and nephew to Overwatch agents.

Izuku: My family's extensive. At least WE aren't related.

Shoto: What's your father's name?

Izuku: Hisashi Akatani. Renamed Midoriya when he married my Mom. Why?

Shoto:

Izuku: We are NOT cousins, Todoroki! I would know!

Momo: Your father DOES have a Fire Breathing Quirk.

Shoto: My father has a Hellfire Quirk.

Izuku: And Dabi has a Cremation Fire Quirk. Is he Touya Todoroki?

Shoto: That would be retarded.

Bakugo: I actually agree.

Eri: Um...Aizawa wants to join the chat. Can I bring him in?

Chat: NO!

**Eri has invited Aizawa to Chat**

Bakugo: Oh balls.

Aizawa: Kids. I see you have been using the chat productively.

Kaminari: Thanks, Aizawa-Sensei.

Aizawa: I was being sarcastic. This is an illogical use of your spare time.

Kaminari: We did all our homework and training exercises. We need downtime too, ya know.

Aizawa: But, incorporating 'Pokemon' as chat names? Low tier.

Tokoyami: Thank goodness. Someone agrees.

Aizawa: I could put you back as Honchkrow.

Tokoyami: Why!?

Tsuyu: Aizawa-Sensei? Why are you in this chat?

Aizawa: To tell you some Class 1-B students are joining you for this chat.

**Aizawa has invited 7 people to chat**

Monoma: So, THIS is the Class 1-A Chat.

Bakugo: WTF! Why are they here?

Aizawa: One of Class 1-B's chat servers caught a virus and Vlad's getting Power Loader and a Hacker Hero to fix it. It's slow going. Someone put a virus in that's practically eating 1TB of memory.

Izuku: HOW?!

Aizawa: I don't know. But for now, just hold these guys here. Other members of 1-B were moved to 1-C and the support chats. Now, I'm going to bed. Don't teach Eri bad words. No fighting. And if anyone makes Eri cry. Nedzu would like a whipping boy.

Kendou: Sorry for the inconvenience.

**Aizawa has left the chat**

Momo: Itsuka! Good to see you!

Kirishima: T4-BRO! My main bro! How's it going?

Tetsutetsu: Freaking sweet, bro! I heard you and the pinkster are a couple, eh?

Kirishima: Hehehehe.

Tetsutetsu: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Mina: Oh brother...Maybe I shoulda stuck with Midoriy still, lol.

Kirishima: WHA?

Mina: I'm joking, babe! I'm joking! Take it easy.

Kendou: Yeah, I made a joke saying I'd switch to MONOMA to Tetsu. He reacted the same way.

Mina: I keep telling people! Kirishima and Tetsutetsu are clones! Same personality, identical Quirks.

Kirishima/Tetsutetsu: We're not clones! We don't have the same Quirks. Stop copying my texts! No, you stop! Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers! Oh, c'mon!

Ochako: I'm dying.

Melissa: They would fit as fraternal twins.

Jirou: I agree.

Shoto: How come when she says a theory, no one argues with her. But, when I do, people give me sideways looks.

Bakugo: Because she's just talking shit, Icy Hot.

Awase: Okay, let's not start shit. So...How bout a quick game?

Eri: A game? Of what?

Awase: Who's the runt?

Eri: Eri.

Kendou: Oh! You were with Midoriya and Togata from Third year at the Culture Festival right?

Eri: Yeah! I loved Auntie Kyo's music! It was the coolest thing ever!...Next to Deku, though.

Jirou: !!! Okay...I'm torn.

Kaminari: Why?

Jirou: I feel a great deal of pride that Eri loved my music.

Kaminari: Okay...

Jirou: But, then she says I'm second to Little Green.

Kaminari: Babe, it's Hero Worship. Or she loves her 'Daddy'. HA!

Jirou: I'm stabbing you later.

Kaminari: Okay, fair.

Kendou: What game, Awase?

Awase: Fuck, Marry, Kill.

Ochako: NO!

Awase: Oh, c'mon! Why not?

Ochako: Eri's only 6 years old!

Eri: What's this game?

Awase: Oh...oh crap.

Setsuna: I got a better idea!

Shiozaki: Yes. Anything to avoid corrupting this child's immortal soul.

Setsuna: Same game but different rules: Kiss, Marry, Kick.

Shiozaki: I don't see

Monoma: This is odd, but, works better for us.

Pony: Diz game iz fun.

Bakugo: The hell's with cowgirls' spelling.

Melissa: She doesn't know how to write in Kanji well. I'm helping her.

Pony: Melissa is very nice. She not bitch like you guys.

Class 1-A member: O.o.

Kendou: Monoma.

Monoma: Yes?

Kendou: I'm breaking your damn nose!

Monoma: What? Because I'm teaching Pony to have pride in our class?

Kendou: We don't need her learning INSULTS TO CLASSMATES!

Bakugo: How do you put up with his ass?

Setsuna: Probably the same way your class puts up with you. XD

Bakugo: SCREW YOU! I AM A DELIGHT!

Izuku: Okay, so who'll start?

Pony: He who smelt it dealt it.

Izuku: Wha?

Kendou: I think she's saying, you ask, you start.

Izuku: OH. Okay. Kiss: Melissa.

Melissa: Already done more than that, green bean ;D.

Izuku: ///. Marry...Can I cheat and say Ochako _and_ Melissa?

Monoma: You're in bed with BOTH the round cheeked pleb and the Quirkless harlot? How disgusting.

Izuku: Kendou. You're not breaking his nose.

Kendou: Why?

Izuku: I'm going to go FULL MORTAL KOMBAT ON HIS SPINAL COLUMN!

Kendou: ///. Can I watch?

Melissa: Adding another girl to the list.

Ochako: List?

Melissa: Of girls with potential attractions to our boy.

Ochako: Can you send me a copy?

Melissa: Once I compile my data, then sure.

Ochako :).

Tetsutetsu: Kendou? Sweetie?

Kendou: Don't worry, T. I only got eyes for ya. I just wanna see Monoma get his shit wrecked.

Tetsutetsu: Oh...I'll bring the camcorder.

Awase: Same. This is going on my Basebook.

Monoma: HEY!

Bakugo: Guess we know which guy is getting 'Kicked'.

Izuku: *High Fives Bakugo*.

Bakugo: *High Fives back*.

Ochako: This is beautiful.

Mina: You're next, Chako.

Ochako: ! Okay. Kiss: Melissa. Marry Deku. Kick...Mineta (I don't care if he's not here...He DIES). Mina, you go.

Mina: Kiss: Midoriya (Been there, done that ;D), Marry: Kirishima. Kick...Mineta. Jirou! Your turn.

Jirou: Kiss: Momo.

Monoma: You? The soundless wench is into women? Pathetic.

Kaminari: Midoriya! Get in line. I'm frying this SOB.

Monoma: WHY ARE YOU SO INCLINED?!

Jirou: I'm Bi, you dickhead!

Monoma: You mean you can't tell whether you like men or women? How does that even

Kendou: Holy Hell! Who hit him?

Eri: Private Kota. I sent him a message to hurt the mean butler boy.

**Kota has entered the chat**

Kota: Mission accomplished. Take care, Eri!

Eri: Thank you, Kota. <3.

Kota: !!!///.

**Kota has left the chat**

Eri: I like him. He's funny.

Momo: So, who would you pick for this, Eri?

Eri: Kiss? Um...Deku!

Bakugo: Figures.

Eri: Marry...KOTA!

Izuku: O.O. I kinda saw that coming but still...That's super cute!

Eri: Kick? Um...Father.

Bakugo: HA?

Izuku: Eri, you don't have to worry. Overhaul will NEVER hurt you.

Eri: I know. But, still. He needs a...Boot to the head?

Bakugo: Togata taught you that huh?

Eri: Uncle Miri! Yup! Um...Auntie Mo, can you pick?

Jirou: I haven't said who I'd marry or kick, sweetie.

Eri: Oh! Sorry!

Jirou: It's okay. You had good choices. Marry: Kaminari.

Kaminari: NANI THE FUCK!

Tenya: Language!

Kaminari: Sorry!

Jirou: Kick...More like castrate Mineta.

Mina: PREACH SISTAH! Now, Momo?

Momo: Oh! Kiss: Um...Bakugo?

Everyone but Eri: WHAT THE FUCK?! (Yes, even Iida).

Momo: Well, you know about the bad boy mentality I feel could be endearing if he acted differently.

Bakugo: Huh.

Momo: Marry: Todoroki.

Izuku: And Sero owes me money on that bet.

Bakugo: You bet on Icy Hot and Ponytail?

Izuku: Yes.

Bakugo: Okay, fair enough.

Momo: Kick?...

Jirou: Don't be dramatic. It's Mineta.

Momo: I was going to say that tall boy from Shiketsu.

Shoto: Yoarashi?

Momo: He scares me with how...passionate he gets.

Shoto: Understandable.

Momo: Since you're here...You choose.

Shoto: Okay...Kiss: Midoriya, forgive me but...Ochako?

Ochako: !!!

Shoto: She's my second choice before Yaoyorozu.

Izuku: I did NOT expect that.

Shoto: But, only for a kiss. I'm not romantically attracted. It's as a friendly peck on the hand.

Ochako: I'm both flattered and surprised.

Bakugo: This is going in my journals.

Izuku: Journals?! Oh, so when I made my notebooks, it's spying and villainous but you have JOURNALS, it's fine.

Bakugo: I was given these for my counseling with Hound Dog. To 'have me understand Midoriya's passion for note taking'.

Izuku: Oh.

Bakugo: Still. I do see your point. I'll replace them, BTW.

Izuku: S'okay. The Gundam models have been very therapeutic.

Momo: Any new models? I love the Todoroki Gundam :).

Izuku: [Picture of Real Grade Unicorn Gundam Green Colored Box].

Shinsou: DAMN! That's the holy grail of the UC series.

Momo: Unicorn?

Izuku: It has two forms. Unicorn form which is it's basic form. And it's Destroy Mode. Which unfurls the inner frame and opens the helmet.

Momo: I...See?

Shinsou: I'll send you the clips, Ponytail.

Momo: Oh, great two people calling me that.

Shoto: And Kick...Bakugo.

Bakugo: Yeah, I can see that.

Shoto: Your turn.

Bakugo: Kiss...Um...Kirishima.

Kirishima: Been there, done that man. We still bros.

Tetsutetsu: Wait, what?

Kirishima: We didn't know if we had feelings like that so we tried dating. We broke up later when it turned out to not be the case.

Tetsutetsu: Oh. Kay. Still pretty manly try.

Kirishima: Damn right.

Bakugo: Marry...Um...Can I skip this one, I'm kind of concerned.

Monoma: If THEY have to spill their guts, you explosive garbage can...You have to follow suit.

Eri: Should I get Kota to do it again?

Bakugo: ...Keep him on standby, short stack.

Eri: Roger that, Uncle Kaka.

Bakugo: Marry:...Camie. AND KILL MONOMA!

Izuku: O.o. The girl from Shiketsu?!

Ochako: The girl who pinned Deku down...NAKED?!

Melissa: That sounds like a DAMN thot!

Bakugo: That was that blonde bitch from the forest! The one obsessed with you, Deku.

Izuku: Oh...Oh yeah...I forgot about that.

Bakugo: Okay, Monopoly bitch, you do it.

Monoma: Fine, allow me to show you the exquisite tastes of Class 1-B. Kiss: Yui Kodai.

Kendou: That's a shock.

Monoma: Marry: Pony.

Pony: I luv u 2 Nei-Nei!

Monoma: <3\. And for Kick: Izuku Midoriya.

Izuku: The full name. What did I do to piss you off? At least today.

Monoma: I heard down the grapevine you have been seen with Pro Hero, Miruko. Are you trying to brag that you can net a Pro Heroine older than YOU before even graduating?! How despicable.

Izuku: You mean, my Aunt training me in Muay Thai and Kick Boxing?

Kendou: What?

Monoma: The hell?!

Izuku: Yeah, Miruko's my Mom's cousin. I'm her Second Cousin, but she prefers to be the Aunt.

Awase: Note to self...Never piss off Midoriya. She has a scary bunny for an Aunt.

Ochako: Don't even get started on his Dad and his paternal uncles.

Setsuna: What do you mean?

Tsuyu: The Shimada Brothers are his Dad's cousins. And his Dad works at SHIELD.

Monoma: BULLSHIT! How can someone so pathetic have such an illustrious family tree! I CALL LIES!

**Miruko has entered the chat**

Miruko: My ears are burnin'. Talkin' 'bout me now, bitches?!

Eri: Who are you?

Miruko: Oh, hey, Eri! I'm Auntie Rumi! Remember? Deku brought you with Ochako and Melissa to dinner? You liked my bunny ears and my biker jacket.

Eri: Oh! Aunt Bunny!

Miruko: That's my little Unicorn child!

Monoma: You have to be joking! That pathetic Deku...Is Miruko's nephew?!

Bakugo: Aunt Bunny? I'm dying.

Miruko: I can kill you with my thighs, boy.

Bakugo: Dying from the adorableness of Eri.

Kirishima: Bakugo...You're sweating buckets. Wanna head to

Bakugo: The pool so I keep cool from this HEAT. Yes. Let's. Raccoon Eyes, yer comin' too. Put that bikini on that you bought for Shark tooth.

Mina: I wish you didn't spoil it for him, Bakugo. But, sure! X).

Kirishima: ///. I love my girlfriend.

**Bakugo, Kirishima and Mina have left the chat**

Izuku: We're okay, Aunt Rumi. We're playing Kiss, Marry, Kick.

Miruko: Oh! Here's my choices. Kiss: Ingenium. Marry: Mandalay (HAH!). Kick: Endeavor.

Shoto: Ochako...Would you be offended if I changed my Kiss choice to Miruko?

Ochako: O.O. Not at all but...Wh--Oh. Eh, sure.

Tenya: Why kiss my older brother?

Miruko: Despite my appearance. I do like good boys. Hawks is a dork but, he's a close second pick for either Kiss or Marry.

Momo: Speaking 'Marry'. WHY Mandalay?

Miruko: It's an injoke between her and me. We're old friends.

Kaminari: Nice.

Miruko: Okay, shocker. What's your picks?

Kaminari: Um...Kiss: Mina. Marry: Jirou. Kick: Sero.

Jirou: Kiss Mina?

Kaminari: She's a friend, right? Same reason for Sero.

Jirou: And...Marry me?

Kaminari: I love you. I thought we established this.

Jirou: Th-Thanks, Chargebolt.

Kaminari: :D.

Tsuyu: I go. Kiss: Koda. Marry: Tokoyami. Kick: Bakugo.

Tokoyami: Koda?

Tsuyu: He's cute.

Tokoyami: Fair enough.

Izuku: And that's the second time I've been surprised.

Ochako: Deku? Who are you talking to?

Izuku: I...don't know?

Monoma: Would be the class 'golden child' is secretly a moron.

Eri: Leave Papa alone! You meanie!

Monoma: Young lady. The sooner you realize that Class 1-A is full of braggarts and arrogant fools, the better.

Eri: Says the guy who lost to Mama back in that Training Exercise.

Melissa: Gonna need some aloe vera for that burn.

Monoma: Silence you Piccadilly slut!

Izuku:

Ochako:

Kendou:

Eri:

Melissa: You...You!

**Melissa has left the chat**

Izuku: MELISSA!

Ochako: LISSY!

Eri: Mommy!

**Eri has left the chat**

**Bakugo has re-entered the chat**

Bakugo: Okay Red, Pink and I just got back and

Bakugo:

Izuku: ?

Bakugo: What the FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Monoma: Nothing at all! You on the other hand

Bakugo: Have anger issues and a complex because of my upbringing. I'm actually talking to Hound Dog about that crap! YOU OWE THE BLONDIE AN APOLOGY, DICK!

Kendou: Go say sorry. NOW.

Monoma: Why are you taking 1-A's side?! They're the ones always taking center stage. Always getting their names in the headlines and making themselves look better than us!

Kendou: I'm going to say this. ONCE. So get it through your skull. I don't care about whatever rivalry you want to start with 1-A. I don't care if they get more recognition than us. They have enough issues to deal with than to have US constantly trying to hurt them!

Ochako: You think we LIKE having the Villains targeting us? Almost dying whenever they show up?! Deku nearly DIED in Hosu! He nearly died at the Forest grounds...So many of us have been hurt or suffered! You think we WANT THAT!

Monoma: YES! Because everyone knows 1-A is the 'best' of the best. You secretly WANT them to seek you out so you get better reputations than any of us who struggle to even get here!

Ochako: You have no idea what some of us struggle from, jerk!

Tsuyu: Ochako. Where is Melissa?

Ochako: With us in Deku's room. She's crying her eyes out! Eri's hugging and nuzzling up to her and Izuku is hugging her too. I'm going to join them in a minute.

Bakugo: FUCK! Get in that love pile, Uraraka. Yer babes need ya.

Jirou: Never expected you to be so supportive.

Bakugo: I really don't like Monoma's BULLSHIT. I'm calling Hound Dog and Aizawa. He did say Nedzu needs a whipping boy. AND WE FOUND IT!

Monoma: Says the lonely lad who loses to the green haired punk.

Izuku: No one.

Izuku: Will find.

Izuku: Your corpse. MONOMA! You made my family cry!

Monoma: Big oof. I say sarca

**Monoma has left the chat**

Momo: Okay, who FINALLY silenced the monster?

**Nedzu has entered the chat**

Nedzu: Thank you, Young Bakugo. I appreciate your call. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

**Nedzu has left the chat**

Bakugo: I do not feel sorry for him.

**All Might has entered the chat**

All Might: I AM HERE. WITH CAPS LOCK STUCK ON.

Momo: Good afternoon, All MIght.

Izuku: Hey, All Might.

Shiozaki: Good Afternoon.

All Might: HELLO CHILDREN. I HAD HEARD SOME ISSUES HAVE BEEN HAPPENING, OF LATE. WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM?

Bakugo: Monoma called Melissa a slut.

All Might:

All Might:

All Might: HE'S GETTING SUSPENSION FOR LIFE!!!!

Kendou: Whoa! Overkill? Nedzu got to him!

All Might: NEDZU HAS HIM? THEN THE BOY'S BEING PUNISHED ENOUGH. WHERE IS THE LASS? WHERE IS MY NIECE?

Kendou: NIECE?

Awase: She's your niece?!

Pony: But, you Japanese? She American. Like me.

All Might: I AM HER HONORARY UNCLE. MY OLDEST FRIEND IS HER FATHER.

Setsuna: That makes sense.

Ochako: We're in Deku's room, All Might-Sensei. She's much better now.

Ochako: **[Picture of Izuku with Melissa and Eri cuddling up to him. He's wrapped them in his arms. Eri is kissing him while Melissa is sleeping softly]**.

**Tooru has entered the chat**

Tooru: I just walked by. That's so CUTE :D.

**Ojiro has entered the chat**

Ojiro: We were wondering what happened though. Why was she--Oh. Well Monoma's a creep.

Izuku: Thanks guys.

Ochako: Don't worry, Deku. You're a good boyfriend for me and Lissy!

All Might:

Izuku: O.O. Um...Ochako?

Ochako: What?

Izuku: All Might didn't know that.

Ochako: Oh No.

All Might: YOUNG MIDORIYA.

Izuku: Y-Yes, All MIght?

All Might: I WILL ONLY SAY THIS ONCE.

All Might:

Izuku: Um?

All Might: Oh, fixed the Caps Lock. Perfect. Take care of my niece, Young Midoriya. I know you have a heart as big as the world.

Izuku: All Might?

Bakugo: That's some fucking high praise.

All Might: I would never trust her with just anyone. Keep her smiling, Young Midoriya. You have my blessings.

Izuku:

Ochako: And he's bawling his eyes out. Thanks...Uncle Might ;).

All Might: ///.

**Eri and Melissa have re-entered the chat**

Eri: Thanks Grandpa Might!

Melissa: Uncle Might. Thank you for blessing us. I know you probably find it weird that I'm dating Ochako and Izuku.

All Might: The world's full of unique ways of living life. As long as everyone is happy in the end, who am I to complain? Though, it's gonna be awkward telling David.

Melissa: Yeah...Hehehehe. Oh God, how's he going to react.

Ochako: He'll be happy for you! As long as you're happy, he should be fine.

Melissa: Here's to hoping. Now...I'm gonna snuggle up to my little baby girl! C'mere!

Eri: EEK!

**Sero has entered the chat**

Sero: Why am I hearing Eri shrieking with laughter? Not that I mind. Just, surprising me.

Ochako: Monoma was a creep. Hurt Melissa's feelings. Nedzu has him as a whipping boy and Melissa felt better and decided to snuggle up to Eri and is peppering her with kisses.

Izuku: Proof. **[Melissa holding a laughing Eri in a hug and kissing her horn. Eri's tearing up with laughter]**.

Kaminari: So...Pure.

Tokoyami: My soul has been blessed with pure love. So, beautiful. Midoriya.

Izuku: Yo.

Tokoyami: Get some rings on them girls.

Izuku: Already working on it ;).

Ochako: We haven't even graduated yet!

Izuku: I wanna plan ahead. You know me.

Ochako: Oh yes I do. Every night.

Tsuyu: Please keep _THAT_ volume to a minimum.

Izuku/Ochako/Melissa: Yes, _MOM_.

Tsuyu: HEY! Momo's the Class Mom! Not me!

Momo: Beg pardon?!

Shoto: In the Class Hierarchy, since you're Vice President of the Class 1-A group you are by definition Class Mom. And Iida's Class Dad.

Tenya: Do I need to get rings for myself and Momo?

Shoto: No. Just. No.

Sero: Okay, just checked Chat History. Yeah, Monoma's a turd. Also...Kiss, Marry, Kick. Mind if we join?

Momo: Please.

Sero: Okay! Kiss: Mina.

Momo: Really?

Sero: I think she's cute, okay?

Izuku: Fair enough.

Sero: Says the guy who had her last before Kirishima! Anywho, Marry: Shiozaki!

Shiozaki: ME?!

Sero: Wait what the heck? You're here? WHY?!

Izuku: Oh. Class 1-B was split into various chats due to their server contracting a virus that's eating a full terabyte of data.

Sero: WOW. Kick...Monoma.

Bakugo: I'm building a screw Monoma Club. You want in?

Sero: Is it free?

Bakugo: Damn right. Cost is just giving Monoma the bird.

Sero: It shall be DONE!

Shiozaki: I shall go next. Kiss: Kuroiro. Marry: I guess I choose Sero. And Kick...Mineta.

Sero: Kuroiro? Oh, right the shadowy looking dude.

Tenya: I believe I missed my turn. Kiss: Apologies Midoriya but, Ochako.

Ochako: I can definitely understand that.

**Mei has entered the chat**

Mei: Excuse me?! What's this about kissing Cheeks?!

Ochako: Kiss, Marry, Kick. It's just a bit of fun, Hatsume. Don't worry. I'm a one man loving woman. Deku's the only guy for me.

Mei: And Melissa?

Ochako: I'm also a single target sexuality for both. I'm Dekusexual and Lissasexual.

Eri: What do those mean?

Everyone: WE'LL EXPLAIN WHEN YOU'RE OLDER!

Eri: O.o. Adults are weird.

Bakugo: Four eyes. You still got the other two.

Tenya: Marry Mei.

Mei: You're saying that to protect your BUTT! Tell me the truth!

Tenya: I am telling the truth. I would marry you in a heartbeat, my lady. And Kick...Hmmm...It's a split between Mineta and Monoma.

Mei: Can I go? Kiss: Izuku Midoriya.

Tenya: I feel that's a spiteful choice.

Mei: Maybe. Marry: Tenya. Kick: Power Loader.

All Might: Why HIM?

Mei: He just barred me from the workshop until I get some z's. I'm parfeatyl awaak.

Tenya: Mei. You need sleep. I'll escort you to your dorm room.

Mei: THaats' my baabey. Cn yu terk min?

Tenya: Uuuuh? What?

Izuku: I can read sleep deprived. She said: That's my baby. Can you tuck me in?

Tenya: How do you?

Izuku: Observation. Also, happened once with Ochako in a private chat.

Ochako:

Izuku: I love you.

Ochako: You're lucky you're an adorable muffin of adorableness. That and you're holding Eri in yer lap so that's cheating.

Eri: I love my Mama.

Ochako: 

**Ochako has left the chat**

Tsuyu: What just happened?

Sero: Oh my god! Ochako just play tackled Deku and Eri and she's smothering them in kisses! LOL.

Melissa: **[Picture of Ochako and Izuku kissing. Eri is laughing in their arms]**.

Tsuyu: Cute. Kero.

All Might: My boy is growing up. Brings a tear to this old Hero's eyes.

Tsuyu: Tokoyami. What are your picks?

Tokoyami: Kiss: Hmmm...Gonna need a dice for it (Rolls dice)...Jirou.

Jirou: You had to roll a DICE to pick a girl to KISS?

Tokoyami: I couldn't decide properly. Most of the girls in this class have many positive traits that show they deserve affection.

Jirou: Uuuh...Okay.

Tokoyami: Marry: Tsuyu.

Tsuyu: ///.

Tokoyami: Kick: Monoma. His soul shall bleed in the darkest pits of shadows.

Ojiro: Damn right.

Tooru: Oji! Pick!

Ojiro: Kiss: Huh...Um...Screw it, I'll be random. Kaibara.

Tooru: Who?

Ojiro: The spinning guy.

Tooru: Oh. He's funny.

Ojiro: :D. Marry Tooru. Love you babe. Kick Mineta. Still haven't forgiven him trying to steal Tooru's undies.

Tooru: <3\. Kiss: Deku, because he's second to my babe. Marry Oji! Kick Mineta. Same reason. Did Kendou have a turn?

Kendou: I don't think so. Neither did Pony. Or Awase.

Kendou: But...Kiss: Awase. Marry Tetsutetsu. KILL MONOMA. That was too far!

Setsuna: Pony, you better ditch Mono-punk.

Pony: I like Nei-Nei! He just misunderstood.

Shinsou: Tsunotori...He just called a friend of ours a SLUT. You really can't come back from that.

Shinsou: I'll take next. Kiss: Setsuna. Marry: Hmmm...Tough call. Kodai. Kick Shishida.

Setsuna: SHISHIDA? Why him?

Shinsou: Dude shed hair all over my bed one time during a study session two weeks ago. I'm STILL finding hair in my bed sheets.

Setsuna: Yeah, fair enough.

Setsuna: I'll go next. Kiss: Bakugo.

Kaminari: Really?

Setsuna: Dude needs to get laid something fierce.

Mei: Oh yeah! I needed to ask him who Ms. Illusion was.

Chat: Who?!

Mei: Someone he keeps texting off campus. My hacking tool still has his phone set.

Ochako: Mei! Stop hacking Bakugo's phone! Unless he's got some secrets you can tell me XD.

Izuku: Ochako...

Ochako: Okay, fine. But, only because you and Eri are so cuddly.

Izuku: I love my family.

Eri: Me too. Even my aunts and uncles...Save Uncle MEANIE BUTLER BUM!

Setsuna: I love this little munchkin. Can I hug her too?

Ochako: Sure. Eri needs to meet more people.

Setsuna: OMW.

Setsuna: Before that. Marry: Kamakiri. Kick: Kaibara.

Ojiro: O.O. MARRY THE MANTIS but kick Spiral???

Setsuna: Lizards eat bugs. lol.

Bakugo: Not even gonna question it. Except...WHY IS DREADS HACKING MY PHONE?!

Mei: I forgot Tenya's number but Melissa gave it to me.

Melissa: Oh! You up for that experiment tomorrow, Mei?

Mei: The one where we make a mini arc reactor for your entrance to Stark Tech? Sure!

Izuku: I'll get the first aid kits and hospitals on the line. And Recovery Girl.

All Might: WAY AHEAD OF YOU!

Mei/Melissa: ???

All Might: Pays to be prepared, dear.

Melissa: Fair.

Pony: I get picks! Kiss: Kaibara. He nice to me. Marry: Monoma.

Chat: WHY!?

Pony: He's not as bad as you think! He just...has confidence issues. He's nice when you get to know him.

Bakugo: Press X to doubt.

Chat: F. (Even ERI does it).

Pony: Meh. Kick: Shishida. He drop hair on my notes one time.

Awase: Kiss: Setsuna. Marry: Kinoko. Kick: Kamakiri. His blades wrecked some stuff I built.

**Midnight has entered the chat**

Midnight: Oh my~. I heard you were having such as youthful conversation and _had_ to join.

Bakugo: Oh crud.

Eri: She the scary woman with the whips who says weird things, right?

Izuku/Ochako/Melissa: YES!

Midnight: I'm not that bad! I'll be brief. Kiss: Manual. Marry: Aizawa. Kick: Present Mic.

Eri: Papazawa?

Chat: *Snickers*.

**Aizawa has re-entered the chat**

Aizawa: Eri is the only one to call me that. Understood?

Chat: SIR YES SIR.

Aizawa: Excellent. But, since Mic's bugging me about this. Kiss: I'd rather kiss Mandalay.

**Kota has re-entered the chat**

Kota: MY AUNT?!

Aizawa: Under duress, I had to pick someone, kid. Marry: Hmmmm...

Eri: Aunt Emi, right? :D

Izuku: Who?

Aizawa: Don'tererewrwerwg4rgbfvfg

Midnight: ?

Aizawa: HEY LISTENERS!

Midnight: MIC?

Aizawa: HE'S TALKIN' ABOUT MS. JOKE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Aizawa:

Aizawa: You saw. NOTHING. Also, Kick: All Might.

All Might: Well...I just lost a bet.

Aizawa: To who?

All Might: To myself.

Aizawa: Mic is tied because he stole my phone.

**Present Mic has entered the chat**

Present Mic: YAAAAA! I'M HERE LISTENERS!

Aizawa: There aren't enough hours in the day for this. I'm napping. Eri. You okay with Problem Child?

Eri: Yep! Papa, Mama and Mommy are staying with me!

Aizawa: No funny business between you three, understood?

Izuku: Sensei.

Aizawa: What?

Izuku: Show some decency! We have Eri with us! We know how to behave for a growing child! I may be a pain for you, but, I can be reasonable for her sake.

Ochako: Same here! We all want her to grow up happy and smiling. I will be the BEST MAMA SHE EVER GETS!

Melissa: I may be her 'Mommy'. But, I'll do everything to make sure she's spoiled sweet for life.

Aizawa:

Midnight: Shota?

Present Mic: Holy mackerel...Are you

Midnight: And Mic just got socked!

Aizawa: Just make sure she gets proper sleep time.

**Aizawa has left the chat**

Midnight: He's a big softie for Eri. He's just being a protective Dad.

All Might: So this is what the phrase 'Dadzawa' means from Mic?

Shoto: Just like Dad Might.

All Might: Where did that--Okay, if that's from that old theory you had of Young Midoriya being my love child I swear on my life, I never even met Mrs. Midoriya until after the Bakugo Rescue Operation.

Izuku: It's true.

Bakugo: Yeah. I doubt he'd seen Deku's mom before. Even as a teenager.

All Might: You have a picture?

Bakugo: Embarrassingly yes. [Picture of a Twenty something year old Inko, Mitsuki and Rei].

Shoto: !!! Is that my mother?

Bakugo: Didn't know until recently, yeah.

Shoto: I see where my Sister gets her looks from. And you look a lot like your mother, Bakugo. That's going to be difficult to keep straight.

Sero: Damn! I wish you were a girl! It'd be like a weird mirror.

Izuku: Please no! There's some Freudian things involved with that.

Sero: True.

Izuku: Also, you owe me a $20.00.

Sero: TodoMomo?

Shoto: There's a NAME for us?

Momo: I have questions.

Izuku: We can talk later about it.

Sero: Damn.

All Might: 

Izuku: All Might?

All Might: It...It couldn't be.

Izuku: All Might?!

All Might: She looks like that girl I met when I was training under my Master. She was quite a vision of emerald. That girl...She was your Mother?! Ooooh boy.

Izuku: All Might? Please tell me you didn't.

All Might: NO! I was wrapped up in my training. By the time I considered asking, she had a boyfriend. Who now that I realize it...Really would be a carbon copy of you. Or more accurately, YOU are a carbon copy of him. Just give yourself square lens glasses and BOOM! Hisashi Akatani. He was...Oh god you are your father's son. So exactly alike it hurts.

Izuku: Well I'm mortified. Shoto. I hate you.

Shoto: I understand.

Momo: I don't get it.

Shoto: All Might just confessed he had a crush on Midoriya's mother but didn't ask her because she was with Midoriya's father. When they were roughly young adults.

Bakugo: WOW. Dude...You woulda been All Might's kid!

Izuku: I'll stick to having All Might as a SURROGATE parent. Thank you.

All Might: That's mature of you, m'boy.

Izuku: But, for now...Kacchan, I need the brain bleach again. For the picture there.

Ochako: You know...If Deku was a woman...I'd still be attracted to him. His Mom at that age was quite pretty.

Melissa: I would agree but...let's not give our man a fainting spell.

Izuku: THANK YOU!

Kendou: Is this a daily thing for 1-A? Make Midoriya have an aneurysm?

Sero: Pretty much.

Tenya: I wish it weren't.

Shoto: It's a rite of passage to witness a breakdown from him.

Jirou: I tried to avoid that once. Still caught the tail end of one.

Izuku: I love my classmates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LONGEST CHAT CHAPTER EVER!


	11. IRL Shenanigans Part 2: The Reckoning!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for some slice of life moments outside the chat. Takes place roughly two days after Monoma's little screw over. Time for me to ruin that idiot's career ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hope I didn't trigger anyone in Chapter 10.

**Section 1: Monoma's Put in His Place...HARD!**

It was a warm and beautiful sunny day at UA High. The birds were singing, class was NOT in session today...and Classes 1-A and B were watching Neito Monoma suffer as Nedzu's personal whipping boy.

The jerk was being forced to _plow a new latrine_ at the animal principal's request. But, he didn't use a riding plow or shovel. Oh no! He had one of those pull only plows. That turned out to way TWO METRIC TONS. The blonde was sweating like he was Niagara Falls! He barely even got an inch done and he was about die! Nedzu, on the other hand was laughing up a storm while spilling his tea. Miruko; who was aware of Monoma's little snafu in the chat, was arguing that she should have first dibs to rip the Copy Cat apart.

Her own nephew assumed she was being literal. And he gave no issues against it. The classes were sitting on impromptu bleachers with Eri sitting in Melissa's lap. She was playing Pokemon and had started with a Scorbunny, because it reminded her of her Papa and her Great Aunt Bunny. 

"I can't believe the Principal's okay with us just watching this man suffer." Bakugo said, smirking like a fiend. The explosive blonde had become much more relaxed since his sessions with Hound Dog. 

"I know, right! I'm getting so much footage for my Basebook! This is gonna be hilarious!" Awase snickered as his phone camera zoomed on the stressed out student. 

"And all this because of some virus in the chat servers. Did they find out who uploaded it to the chat servers?" Mina asked, barely containing her laughter as she was glomped by her boyfriend. 

All of them took turns theorizing the virus. Some thought it was a random incident. Others thought it was a precursor to yet another villain attack. It was only until Melissa cleared her throat. 

"I did. It turned out the virus was when...Well...Pony tried to get a translator tool for her phone and computer." Melissa explained, scratching her cheek as Pony looked down with red face on her, "She was approved to get it, but turned out the app in question had a virus program hidden into the codes. Took the Hacker Hero and Power Loader a LONG while before they purged it from her phone, all of the other phones and the servers." 

Kendou sifted over to the horned girl and gave her a sympathetic hug. She was doing what the school asked and she caused trouble for her friends. Even got Monoma in trouble, although everyone agreed that was _his_ fault. 

All Might gave his niece a sympathetic shoulder while they sat and watched Monoma suffer. Ochako, Mina, Bakugo...Everyone couldn't help but laugh at the blonde's karmic punishment. All but...Izuku Midoriya? 

At first, hearing his Aunt say she wanted a piece of the jerk was funny...but seeing Monoma barely even move that plow was just painful and cringe-worthy. Getting up from his seat, he attracted the attention of his class. 

"Deku? What are you doing?" Ochako asked, confused. 

"I'm taking over...this is just sad." Izuku said, frowning. 

"What?! Why?" Ochako squawked. Izuku just walked over, after taking off his plain white T-Shirt. Ochako quickly nabbed it and hugged it as she saw her shirtless boyfriend saunter over to the struggling student. 

With Monoma, he grunted and coughed as he couldn't understand how the plow wasn't moving. He should be able to pull the damn thing! He saw a shadow in front of him and looked at its owner, Izuku Midoriya...the 'Golden Boy' of Class 1-A. Both of them glared at each other. Ever since Bakugo calmed down, Monoma seemed to draw out Midoriya's ire more than anyone else. 

"What do you want, _Midoriya_? Come to laugh in my face?" Monoma arrogantly questioned. Izuku, without a response, lifted the plow handle from Monoma's shoulder, grabbed his collar and promptly THREW Monoma over to the bleachers where he was caught by Kendou's enlarged hand. He was promptly put down next to a relieved Pony Tsunotori who hugged him...only to pull back when she felt how ungodly sweaty he was. 

"What the hell just happened?" He asked blankly as Midoriya took his old position. 

Miruko and Nedzu both stopped as they heard Monoma get 'yeeted' over to the classes. 

"Midoriya? What are you doing here? This was--?" Nedzu began, genuinely curious. 

"If we left it to him, we'd never get done. Besides...I need the weight training. Is that alright, Principal Nedzu?" Izuku replied, courteously. Nedzu chuckled politely and nodded. 

Back at the bleachers, Monoma just tilted his head in confusion. 

"There's no way that lummox is going to be able to pull THAT! It's 2 TONS!" Monoma shouted, gesturing at the boy who was stretching himself for the task. 

"Deku's the toughest guy around! He'll move that plow!" Ochako beamed as Eri looked up and suddenly began to bounce in Melissa's lap. The taller blonde girl giggled as Eri excitably hoped her Papa would do what Uncle Meanie Butler Bum could not. 

"He must have some serious 'plowing experience', eh, Chako?" Sero snickered before getting smacked by Mina next to him. 

"Watch it! There are children present." Momo hissed, as Sero scowled and huffed. 

As the class watched, ALL of them were shocked at Izuku pulled on the plow and it began to MOVE. Slowly but surely, Midoriya was PULLING that heavy plow like it was a regular thing. The classes were speechless, save a smirking All Might, Melissa (who's face was full on smug at Monoma), Ochako who was proud of her man, Bakugo who grumbled that "Of course Deku had to pull it off..." and Eri who was cheering happily and smiling. He wasn't even using One For All! 

Miruko shed a proud tear, "My little nephew's gone from Baby Bunny to a Full Hare. My training him's paying off!" 

Monoma was slack jawed and horrified. Some of 1-A were reminded of Bakugo's face when Midoriya threw the ball at their Quirk Apprehension Text on the first day of First Year. 

"Drink it in pal, that's how failure tastes!" Bakugo laughed. 

While the class were ribbing Monoma, however, Ochako and Melissa were 'drinking' in Midoriya's musculature. His defined muscles, his hardened abs, his broadened shoulders. The way his sweat dripped off his skin. You could grind MEAT off those abs, dammit! Ochako and Melissa gave each other looks. Their man was going to be thoroughly rewarded tonight. 

###### 

**Section 2: The Clone Wars?**

An hour later... 

Kirishima and Tetsutetsu were trudging up to the pool. Both of them were annoyed. While Monoma did get the ribbing he richly deserved, they were distracted by Kendou and Ashido AGAIN referring to the pair as clones. 

It wasn't fair! They have similar Quirks, but, at the same time their weaknesses couldn't be more obvious. They even had different tastes in women for God's sake! Kirishima enjoyed the more exotic and sensual fashion-loving ways of Mina Ashido, the pink skinned Acid Quirk using girl. While Tetsu was seriously in love with the Martial Arts fighting Big Sister of Class 1-B. She was always nice and forgiving. Okay, not with a particular student, but you all get the idea. 

They both received texts from their girls to meet them at the rooftop pool. At the exact time. With the EXACT. _SAME_. **MESSAGE**. **_CONTENT_**. 

"So...Wonder what teasing they'll give us for today?" Tetsu scowled as the pair were in their swimming trunks. Kirishima wore pink swim trunks with yellow trim while Tetsutetsu wore jet black with white trim and had the kanji for STEEL on it. It also for some reason had a picture of Aggron on the right side. 

Never let it be said that Tetsutetsu Tetsutetsu wasn't a fan of the franchise. 

"No idea. But, it's probably another jab at our quirks, personalities...Everything..." The steel browed student grumbled. 

As the pair reached the pool area, the pair were given a _very_ pleasant surprise. Their girlfriends, Mina Ashido and Itsuka Kendou, were lounging on beach chairs, in exaggeratedly sexy poses in the skimpiest of swimsuits they had. Mina even took water to her hand and began to rub in all over herself, leaving beads of water on her skin which aroused the red haired student so much...his Quirk activated without his prompting. 

Even Tetsutetsu was shocked by this reaction and he suffering a nosebleed from seeing Kendou's posing, her moving her leg up to her face and giving a seductive smirk and wink his direction. 

"Hey, boys!" Mina said, smirking. The boys, slack jawed and turning slightly red themselves, "Word is it that we tease you both too much because of your Quirks." 

"So..." Kendou said, her voice hushed and low, "We thought we'd apologize to you and we could have some fun in the sun. Shall we go for a...dip?" 

Both boys turned and looked at each other for a few seconds before they gave bright toothy grins! 

"GOD I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND!!!" They roared as the girls laughed and jumped into the pool, their boyfriends following suit. 

The boys internally decided that they could handle some ribbing if _this_ was their significant other's way of apologizing. 

###### 

**Section 3: IzuOchaLissa decide to help Shinsou get a girlfriend...Maybe?**

Izuku Midoriya, Ochako Uraraka and Melissa Shield. What do these three have in common? Well...obviously, they're in a polyamorous relationship that they're happy to be in. They care about each other, support each other's dreams and even all help to look after Eri when Aizawa's too busy with classes or...whenever a certain OTHER Hero seems to make a habit of visiting! *COUGH*Ms. Joke*COUGH*! 

Izuku was the first to notice that his newest friend; who says he doesn't want friends, Hitoshi Shinsou, seems rather lonely these days. He seems to trail off when thinking. 

Ochako noticed that Yui Kodai has been glaring at Shinsou for the past few days since he replaced Mineta; a silent thank you to the heavens from EVERY GIRL in Class 1-A. Yui wouldn't say why. Then again, she rarely ever spoke. 

Melissa once caught them in the same room. Shinsou nervously reading a horror novel with Yui Kodai glaring at him, whenever she glances up from her book. A...Romance Novel?! 

The trio compiled their observations and came to a conclusion. Shinsou and Kodai have an attraction to each other, but, like Izuku and Ochako before them, they either couldn't really tell themselves or are too nervous to tell. 

So, the group tried to find ways to get the two into a romantic situation once or twice. But, each time, serendipity or an act of All For One or God, whichever was funnier; SOMETHING, kept preventing the two from either attracting attention or being romantic to the other. 

Ultimately...the trio and Eri; who joined up to help her Big Bro Shinsou smile, all gave up in the end. Every single time they tried to get them together, something pulled them away. Even Mina snickered at how much they were affected by HER old antics of 'shipping' people. 

Later that night... 

Shinsou entered his newly refurbished and upgraded room, but, not before giving a look around the hall. As if sensing something amiss. He shrugged and entered his room. Only to be grabbed by his shoulders, pulled into his room and the door slammed shut; locking him in with his 'guest'. 

Suddenly, after landing on his bed and feeling something land on him, Shinsou's confused expression turned to a tired resignation. Sitting in his lap, pinning his arms - topless, I might add - was a visibly frustrated Yui Kodai. 

"Late." She hissed curtly. Shinsou smirked as Yui's own scowl slowly morphed into a determined smirk herself. 

"Sorry, Sweetheart. But, those guys wouldn't let it go." Shinsou replied, trying his best to reach her torso and feel up his partner. But, the raven haired girl pulled his arm away. Dissatisfied, Shinsou saw a smug look on Yui's face. 

"Punish you." Yui stated, smirking. 

Oh, it was on now. 

"Oh? Really? Punish me? We both know how this goes, doll." The purple haired boy snickered. Yui kept a stoic face as she leaned forward, not saying a word. She's learned not to give him control of their time together. _She_ was taking charge tonight. 

"Well...Can't blame a guy fer trying. You take the lead, sweetie." Shinsou whispered as Yui pressed her lips against his. 

While Izuku, Ochako and Melissa were more of the romantic affection style of love. Shinsou and Yui had different schools of thought to intimacy. Namely, whoever pounces on the other first...wins. 

###### 

**Section 4: Jirou's curiosity over a Dunce...**

Jirou has been confused the past few days. 

First, she knows she's Bi. She loves both guys and girls. Second, she was technically in a relationship with both Yaoyorozu and Kaminari. But, recently Yaoyorozu and Todoroki have been busy with whatever 'classy, hoity-toity' stuff rich people do. 

That left her with Kaminari. Who's become something of an anomaly for her in these past few days. Since Mineta's departure (much to her FUCKING relief), Kaminari's personality has become more on the 'up-and-up'. He's been less of a pervert and more of a gentleman. To her specifically. There were times where he would still fry his brain doing something dumb. 

Aizawa remembered finding her, literally passed out laughing when the Pikachu haired boy stuck his tongue in an electrical socket and just went 'Whey' all day. They both got detention for the day. Mostly Denki because he was out of it and he needed someone to mind him. So, she was the pick. 

She began to drift to the chat logs where Kaminari had been defending her honor from both Bakugo; who has since calmed down from his usual attitude and Monoma, the asshat. But, she wondered. 

"Am I good enough for him? What if it's just a prank and he's really like Mineta and likes big boobed chicks..." The short haired girl silently whimpered. 

He had better options to crush on than some butch (punk?) girl who can't figure out which team she's swinging for. But, he keeps coming back to her, even after she jabs him with her jacks. In fact, he just smiles and waves it off like nothing. 

She finds him annoying with his bright smile, his sunny laughter and his cute wink--! Oh lord, she **is** falling for him! How can this be? Sure, Yaomomo shows her appreciation despite her appearance, but, Kaminari's been a dork and a perv since First Year. How can he like her so much? 

As if to answer her question, the source of her inner turmoil knocks at her open door. 

"Hey, Jirou! We up for a jam session tonight? What soundtrack do you have lined up?" Kaminari asked, smiling brightly. Jirou blushed and turned away. 

"I...I-I forgot about tonight. S-Sorry, Jamming Whey..." Jirou retorted, trying her best to hide her sudden blush. 

"Hey, no biggie. I brought some soundtracks from old Pre-Quirk era movies. Space Jam, MIB, Godzilla '98...Something called 'Evanescence'?" Kaminari continued, as he moved to her bed, sitting down and laying back against the wall, "Yo! What's the matter, Rock Star? You seem out of it today." 

"N-No...I mean, y-yeah--! I mean...FUCK!" Jirou hissed covering her red face. 

"H-Hey, what's the matter? You alright?" Kaminari asked, panicking. Jirou, at her own mental limit...snaps. 

"NO! I'M NOT!" She cried, tears forming. 

"What? Why? What's wrong?!" The electric blonde asked, worriedly. 

"YOU! You're what's wrong! OKAY?!" The rocker choked as she, contradicting her statement, lurched herself into his chest, crying. 

"What? Why? What did I do? C'mon, Jackie! I know I may be a jerk sometimes, but, I never mean anything by my jabs at ya!" The electric Quirk user protested. 

"But...I HIT YOU! I MOCK YOU...I ALWAYS TAKE POT SHOTS AT YA and...and...*Grrk*!" She sobbed as her friend wrapped himself around her. 

"I know...We're...quite an odd pair, huh?" Kaminari said, calmly. 

"Why...How?! How can you like a girl like me? I'm a Bi Disaster waiting to happen. I insult and hurt you so many times before...and yet...and yet--!" Jirou chokes out before feeling her companion's hand cup her chin, raise her eyes to meet his and feel his lips press against hers. 

Why? Why can this man love her when she's been a bitch to him in the past? Sure, she says she _likes_ him, but, she never expected to fall for him. Or find him loving her so easily. 

"Hmhmhm...Maybe I'm a bit of masochist. But...I know that underneath the snark, the jack jabbing and condescending remarks...You're an awesome person to be around. Even if you tell me you don't feel the way I do for you, I will always have your back. I dig ya, Jackie." Denki explained gently as Jirou sniffled. 

"You...You're an idiot, Jamm-Jamming W-Whey...You're in love with a girl who can't even figure out what type of person...she loves at all." 

"I'm a patient dumbass. Whenever you find out where your heart leads, I'll be there for you." The electric Quirk user said, smiling. 

"Heheheh...That's not creepy sounding at all." Jirou giggled, rubbing her eyes. 

"It's like that song from that one Pre-Quirk band. _Can anybody find me...._ " Kaminari crooned, "C'mon what's the end of that lyric, Jackie?" 

Jirou couldn't help but blush as she sang out " _Somebody...to...Love...._. You can be such a dork, Jamming Whey." 

"Well...I'm your dork. Let's um, let's skip the session and just...stay like this. You uh...ya look tired." The blonde said as he looked tired himself. 

Jirou shut her eyes and nuzzled into Kaminari's chest. She could hear his heart beat quickly as one of his hand wrapped around hers. They fell asleep in her room and dreamed of whatever music the other liked, smiling softly. 

The morning after, Jirou went back into her 'tsundere' ways and jabbed Kaminari with her jacks when she noticed the other hand of his found its way to her butt. But, secretly she smiled. 

He was her Jamming Whey dorky friend. Maybe...Just maybe...She found that somebody to love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope some of my language isn't too bad. I headcanon Kaminari calls Jirou 'Jacks' or 'Jackie' when they're alone.


	12. Father's Day, Truth or Dare and STANDO POWAH!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to our regularly scheduled Chatfic shenanigans!
> 
> Happy Father's Day! Tokoyami Discovers Jojo! And some truth or dare nonsense!
> 
> Boy I am OUT of date...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4 more chapters to go before I can start new ones.

**Tenya has opened the Class 1-A chat**

**Tenya has invited 21 people to the Chat**

Tenya: Good Day everyone! How was everyone's weekend?

Ochako: It was fun! Mommy and Daddy and I had burgers! Who else?

Bakugo: Old Hag and Old Man and I chilled at home. Had stir fry. Hag got on my case when she heard I'm having 'relations' with someone.

Melissa: Really? With who?

Bakugo: I ain't sayin' SHIT!

Melissa: Par for the course there.

Kirishima: My folks and I watched TV and had Turkey.

Kaminari: That's rare! For Father's Day?

Kirishima: HELL YEAH!

Tsuyu: I was happy to see my family again. Tokoyami came with me.

Mina: I am HERE! Did I hear you introduced Tokoyami to your...parents? owo

Tokoyami: Down girl. Yes. She did introduce me to her family. They were a happy bunch. Although her brother and sister would not stop pestering me about Dark Shadow. Kept calling him a 'Stand'. Whatever that means.

Aoyama: Personne ne dit rien.

Tokoyami: I have Google Translate too, Aoyama.

Aoyama: Merde.

Satou: Yo! Sorry, I won't be on long. Still helping Lunch Rush and Mrs. Midoriya with the Bake Sale stuff.

Melissa: Really?

Eri: I saw Grandma Midoriya pass by a few minutes ago! She gave me a big rainbow cookie!

Ochako: OH! So cute! [Picture of Eri with a Rainbow Chocolate Chip Cookie as big as her head. Eri just bit into it.].

Tooru: So wholesome. You best adopt Eri when you guys are old enough, Chako~! OwO

Ochako: Definitely on the list of things.

Melissa: I am so glad to be getting exp as a Mother through this. Makes me look forward to

Jirou: What interrupted the blonde bombshell?

Ochako: Me.

Mina: We know she was gonna say when she has her own. Eri will be the ULTIMATE big sister for your babies. Speaking of babies...where's Midoriya?

Shoji: I saw him carrying stuff with Mrs. Midoriya. And a parcel just came for him from the States.

Melissa: WHAT?

Shoji: It's marked: Personal Delivery from the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. Should I know something about this?

Shoto: O-O

Shoji: What?

Ochako: He got a parcel from SHIELD?!

Shoji: Wait-What?! Why is Midoriya getting a package from the most influential SPY organization in the US?!

Melissa: His Dad works as an accountant there.

Shoji:

Shoji: The fuck did I MISS?

Tokoyami: A long revelry in the dark, my friend. I have the logs. I will send them. Now can someone tell me WHAT A STAND IS?!

Bakugo: Just look it up, yerself birdbrain. Cripes. Shouldn't be that hard.

Tokoyami: I have but it keeps bringing up this show called Jojo. I assumed I mistyped or something.

Momo: Tokoyami, Stands come from Jojo. It's an element from the show around Part 3: Stardust Crusaders.

Tokoyami: Oh. And 'Magician's Red' is?

Shoji: That's Avdol's Stand. It's a muscular man with a bird's head on FIRE.

Tokoyami: 

Tokoyami: That sounds like a DUMB Quirk. What's the appeal?

Ochako: I've watched it and I love Part 2 personally.

Melissa: I was partial to Part 1, honestly.

Tokoyami: Are there 'Stands' there too?

Melissa: Nope. Vampires, Sun powered punches and the weirdest mentor figure since Gran Torino.

Tokoyami: I am tempted to ask who, but, I will watch this...on the off chance it may intrigue me.

Ochako: Probably better than this other manga Deku reads.

Bakugo: Oh? What's that?

Ochako: Something called 'Goblin Slayer'? It's kinda dark. It has some funny moments but, jeesh so dark. Especially towards girls.

Bakugo: Wait a sec! That's my book! I was wondering where I lost my volume of it. Where are ya, Round Face?

Jirou: Why are you reading something called Goblin Slayer?

Bakugo: Dude's fucking baller for a guy who just hunts Goblins.

Kaminari: Why does he just hunt Goblins?

Bakugo: Let's just say his Hunts are justified.

Kirishima: I looked it up. Not a pretty picture. I can understand why GS does what he does. DAMN.

Ochako: Well, that's a relief as to why Deku had the book. He must have found it.

Izuku: Hey, guys! Sorry, I'm late. I just

Bakugo: WHY DID YOU HAVE MY BOOK, DEKU?!

Izuku: Book? What book?...OH Goblin Slayer, right?

Izuku: I found it at a classroom. I was going to call you up to pick it up. Why?

Bakugo: Okay. Fair enough. Not bad, nerd.

Mina: Well, since class is mostly here. Let's play a game.

Bakugo: Not kiss, marry, kill!

Mina: TRUTH OR DARE IT IS, SUCKA!

Bakugo: DAMMIT!

Eri: Truth or Dare?

Momo: Either you tell the truth by answering a question truthfully or perform a dare for everyone. Mina, keep the game at LEAST PG.

Shoto: Please. We have a minor.

Eri: I can do anything you guys can do! 😠

Ochako: No problem, sweetie.

Mina: Since I announced the game, I will start. SATOU!

Satou: I'M WITH LUNCH RUSH AND MRS. MIDORIYA! I CAN'T PLAY!

Mina: Was gonna ask for some snacks.

Satou: Oh! Baked goods are on the top shelf of the pantry!

Mina: Awesome. Okay, Eri! Truth or Dare.

Eri: Um...Dare! :D

Mina: I dare you to...wait where are you right now?

Eri: Papazawa's office with Shinsou and Present Mic.

Mina: OwO. I want you to poke Present Mic and grab his attention 3 times and say NOTHING.

Eri: O...Kay?

**Shinsou has entered the chat**

Shinsou: Why is Eri poking Present Mic? He's freaking out over the random poking.

Shinsou: OH! Read the chat. Really Mina? That's low tier.

Mina: I have to keep the game PG or lower cuz of Eri, sleepyhead.

Shinsou: Sure.

Eri: Okay! Done.

Mina: Now, you pick someone and ask.

Eri: Um...Aunty Mo! Truth or Dare?

Momo: I choose Truth.

Eri: Have you ever kissed a boy?

Momo: O_o. ///.

Mina: I count that as a YES.

Shoto: Who did you kiss? May I be allowed to know?

Mina: C'mon, Momo. We all want to know.

Momo: I KISSED MIDORIYA ONCE!

Izuku/Ochako/Melissa: O_O. WHAT?!

Izuku: WHEN WAS THIS?!

Momo: We were studying in the library and you were mumbling about Ochako being cute so I kissed you while pretending to be Ochako once. You had fallen asleep because you were sleep deprived from studying for Midnight's Art History test on Van Gogh.

Izuku: So that's why my dream about Ochako and I having a picnic felt so nice.

Shoto:

Izuku: What?

Ochako/Melissa:

Izuku: O_o. WHAT?! I was dreaming of Ochako and I having a friendly picnic before we started dating! TENYA WAS THERE TOO!

Tenya: Don't pull me into your relationship drama. Why would I be there?

Izuku: Because I was dreaming of spending quality times with friends back then. Growing up I had NO friends...expect well...Kacchan.

Bakugo: Okay, let's move this along! It's embarrassing for him and fills me with shame on how much of a douche I was back then.

Kirishima: Wow, didn't expect that kind of reaction. Okay, I just saw Todoroki stomp past me. Midoriya, where are you?

Izuku: I'm in my...TODORO

Kaminari: OW! Todoroki! Not again! Why blame Midoriya?!

Ochako: DEKU!

Melissa: Oh god, Midoriya! Hang on, hun! Mamas are coming'!

Jirou: Todoroki...If I go deaf after another of his screams, you'll be hearing from my ENT.

Satou: I just saw an iceberg form at the dorm! Oh shit! INKO'S ON HER WAY! SHE'S PANICKING! Oh crap! I think she just called MIRUKO! GET HIM MELTED OUT NOW BEFORE THE RABBIT GIBS YOUR ASS!

Momo: TODOROKI! HURRY UP! IF MIRUKO COMES, THEN HAWKS COMES! AND IF HE SHOWS UP!

Shoto: Oh shit, my DAD! Calm Inko down!

Eri: Already told her you froze Papa, Uncle Sho!

Shoto: WHY?!

Eri: You FROZE PAPA! Because Aunty Mo kissed him a long time ago!

Shoto: I have emotional issues, you should know that about me by now.

Eri: Oh! Aunt Bunny's here and her eyes got BIG.

Shoto: !! Oh cripes! Dammit, FIRE QUIRK WORK!

Ochako: Dammit, Todoroki! Next time let me and Melissa handle Deku!

Izuku: Why am I getting blamed?

Melissa: We're not angry just shocked.

Izuku: But, she said.

Ochako: I am easily jealous and clingy, Deku. We discussed this in private. Be glad I'm not yeeting Momo into the sky.

Momo: Would it be bad if I said, it's my turn for Truth or Dare.

Bakugo: Go for it! I got Aizawa trying to keep Miruko from slamming through the door.

Momo: Okay. Um...Uh...AOYAMA!

Aoyama: Oui?

Momo: Truth or Dare?

Aoyama: Truth. I have nothing to hide.

Momo: Why were you feeding Midoriya cheese in the latter half of First Year.

Aoyama: I was trying to form a bond with M. Midoriya. Sufficed to say, I did not realize I was being le creepy avec him.

Momo: Eh?

Aoyama: I was trying to be nice, but, I kind of unnerved him until I talked Quirks with him. I stopped doing it afterwards.

Aoyama: Kaminari! Action ou Vérité!

Kaminari: Um...Say what?

Aoyama: Hmph! Truth or Dare!

Kaminari: Dare!

Aoyama: Give Mme. Jirou...a lap dance.

Jirou: OMG ///!

Kaminari: PG AOYAMA!

Aoyama: Oh...Woops. Um...Recite poetry to Jirou?

Kaminari: I can't recite poetry!

Shoji: Just look up a love poem and--OH GOD MIRUKO JUST KICKED AIZAWA INTO THE COMMON ROOM! SHOTO, SHE'S HUNTING YOU! RUN!

Shoto: I almost got Midoriya unfro

Ochako: HOLY! Miruko just LIU KANG KICKED SHOTO! Inko's trying to calm her down!

Izuku: I'm still half in the iceberg BTW...

Bakugo: Gimme a sec, I'll take over.

Melissa: I got an invention from Mei she wanted me to test.

Bakugo: Okay, I am DEFINITELY coming up now.

Ochako: Hurry! I don't trust this one...OH MY GOD IT'S A FLAMETHROWER!

Melissa: OH GOD I DIDN'T KNOW!

Ochako: Turn it off! Turn it off! You'll hit Deku with it!

Shoto: I...am alive...barely.

Izuku: HELP ME! MEI'S FLAMETHROWER HIT MY HAIR!!!

Shoto: MIDORIYA! Sorry, but I have to do it again!

Izuku: YOU HAVE PERMISSION BUT HUR

Kirishima: Okay, who's not dead?

Jirou: Kaminari read me a love poem. It was sappy and cringy.

Kaminari: Sorry.

Shinsou: Just passed your room. Why is your hair all messed up?

Jirou: Who's hair?

Shinsou: BOTH.

Aoyama: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).

Kaminari: Shut it, Frenchy.

Jirou: Seconded.

Momo: Jirou...Did he actually?

Jirou: I'll tell you later. Just...just shut up.

**ONE HOUR LATER**

Ochako: Deku's fine. Just a bit of frost bite.

Melissa: Poor baby. I'm making him some Chicken Noodle Soup.

Izuku: Thaank yuuuuas.

Mina: Uh...Is he gonna be okay?

Izuku: I barely have feeling in my hands. Shoto did one on me.

Momo: Midoriya, I am SO sorry I did that to you. I never knew Shoto would react like that.

Shoto: I...Don't know why I acted the way I did. Just...my temper flared.

Izuku: Kaminari...You have to make a choice.

Kaminari: Oh yeah! Midoriya...Truth or Dare.

Izuku: Dare.

Eri: Papa...please don't be scary like Father was.

Izuku: I have to do what Kaminari says.

Kaminari: I'm tempted to be vengeful and have you make out with Momo for the sake of vengeance against Shoto. But, then that means Ochako, Melissa AND Shoto would be all over my backside.

Jirou: Me too, numbnuts.

Kaminari: So my Dare for you IS: have the soup, get the thickest blanket in the dorms, and have Eri, Ochako and Melissa cuddle with you until you feel better, bro.

Izuku: O_0.

Kaminari: You need to get better. And I bet your ladies and little lady wanna cuddle up to ya.

Eri: I ACCEPT!

Melissa: Workin' on the soup but, amen, Kami.

Ochako: Deku gets huggles! I am all in!

**Miruko has entered the chat**

Miruko: Room for more in that pile, kiddo?

Shoto: KEEP AWAY FROM ME!

Miruko: Who's fault was that when I nearly cratered yer ass?

Momo: Please don't kill Todoroki. Endeavor would have a field day with you.

Miruko: Bring that oversized garbage fire on. I can kick his ass from here to Tuscany!

Jirou: Just let Mr. Daddy Issues live. If anything Endeavor would use his death as an excuse to cause trouble for the rest of his family, if those tabloids are true.

Miruko: What tabloids?

Jirou: There's some online blogger who's spreading stories about Endeavor abusing his family sometime before the Sports Festival. His wife was in a mental ward.

Shoto: True.

Jirou: Oldest son supposed dead or vanished.

Shoto: True. Not sure if dead but can confirm; Touya's MIA.

Jirou: Abused his kids?

Shoto: Only know I was beaten up. Fuyumi was left alone, Natsuo was ignored.

Jirou: Were YOU that blogger?

Shoto: No. But, I follow him.

Ochako: Deku? You feeling better?

Kirishima: Is it me or is Deku suddenly shivering WAY harder since we brought up the blogger?

Mina: Yeah.

Ojiro: Midoriya...Are you...the blogger?

Izuku: No, why? I only just heard of the abuse now. All Shoto told me was the scars and the Quirk Marriage Endeavor had with his Mom.

Izuku: I looked into Endeavor bloggers after the Festival...Before um...Hosu.

Tenya: That's a walk down memory lane I'd rather not tread again.

Shoto: Same here. I still have issues with that mutt of a Police Chief.

Izuku: We promised to keep that encounter out of the media, Todoroki.

Ochako: What encounter?!

Izuku: Um...It's uh...complicated?

Mina: Ooooh~! Experimenting back in First Year? Boys are surprising.

Tenya: No. Just...No, god dammit.

Shoto: Keep your fancies to you and Kirishima's bedroom antics, Ashido.

Mina: Jeez, a little humor why don't you.

Ochako: Wait...Hosu...After the--! Oh! Wait! Is that about

Tenya: Uraraka, I would be very pleased if you kept the Hosu Incident out of this chat. It's shameful for me as it was.

Ochako: O-Oh...I'm sorry, Tenya.

Tenya: It's...It's alright. Just...riles up an old injury.

Jirou: What the hell happened in Hosu?!

Izuku: LoV attack with Noumu. Stain was nearby, Iida, Todoroki and I were saved by Endeavor from Stain.

Bakugo: Okay, NOW I know that's fucking bullshit! You getting saved by IcyHot's shitty old man?!

Shoto: Although, I appreciate your comment on my father...Keep your comment out of this.

Bakugo: No! I think I know the answer.

Izuku: KACCHAN! NO!

Ochako: Whoa. Deku's Quirk suddenly started up! Calm down sweetie! I'm getting the blanket for all of us.

Miruko: Yeah, what's up with Hosu? I wasn't there but I heard there was some shit going on.

**Eri has left the chat**

Mina: Eh?

Izuku: I told her to log out. The language was getting too much.

Miruko/Bakugo/Jirou: Sorry.

Aoyama: Je m'excuse. But...I assume Bakugo, your theory is: Endeavor never defeated Stain, Non?

Bakugo: Fucking A, French Fry. I'm guessing. Tenya went to that 'Manual' dude who works in Hosu. Remember? Fucker dropped out cuz his brother got attacked by that fuckwad!

Tenya: Bakugo, cease this line of dialogue please!

Bakugo: The League attack at the same time as Stain, Four Eyes sees the asshole, tries ta catch him to 'avenge' his brother. But, he gets stomped on! Deku shows up and takes Stain on...then IcyHot showed up afterwards. IcyHot was in Hosu when he worked under his old man for the internships.

Shoto:

Tenya:

Izuku:

Ochako: Babe?

Izuku: Bakugo...

Bakugo: WHAT?! I'm not wrong, am I?

Izuku: We asked you to not say anything.

Bakugo: Who fucking cares?! It's been buggin' everyone about that random text we all got of a random back alley in the area you were in during that time. So, I'm laying out my idea. Am I wrong?

Izuku: Fine. Bakugo was right. His theory is the truth. Iida, Todoroki and I fought Stain to stop him from killing Native. Iida was there first but I found him on the ground about to die. I intervened, then made the text. Todoroki showed up when I was incapacitated by Stain's Bloodcurdle Quirk.

Shoto: We then all defeated Stain. Not exactly a pleasant fight. Afterwards, a Noumu attacked us, grabbing Midoriya. Stain escaped his bonds and rescued Midoriya.

Ochako: WHAT?! Why would he do that?

Tenya: Stain marked Deku as a potential Hero that meets the standards of a 'True Hero' in his eyes. Because both Midoriya and Stain had devotion to All Might. Although, Stain was a fanatic, Midoriya was a genuine believer in All Might's ideals.

Melissa: This is some heavy stuff.

**_(TO BE CONTINUED)_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going as fast as I can!


	13. The Box and Tokoyami's Birdemic...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was in the box? Who gets the box? How much is what's in the box worth? Storage Wars...Hmmmhmmm
> 
> Also Tokoyami gets salty for a moment.

Izuku: So, yeah...We encountered Stain, he considers me the 'ideal' Hero to keep around...and he saved me from a Winged Noumu. Can we move past this please?

Ochako: Honey! We can't just sweep that under the rug!

Shoto: The Police sure as hell did.

Melissa: That seems disgusting.

Tenya: It makes logical sense. Our behavior was like that of Vigilantes and Villains. It's why I was so adamant against us rescuing Bakugo back then.

Bakugo: I appreciate your trying to respect the rules.

Izuku: It still worked out! Mostly...

Bakugo: All Might still lost his Quirk.

Izuku: It was honestly leaving him since he...passed it on to me. Your capture and rescue just...sped it along. I'm still feeling responsible for it too. At least All Might's still alive.

Bakugo: Yeah...I guess you're right...ya damn nutjob.

Izuku: They don't call me the 'Certified Madman of Class 1-A' for no reason.

Tenya: I wish that wasn't your Title.

Izuku: What would you call me? And if I hear nerd from you, Kacchan...

Bakugo: You said it first, dumb ass.

Ochako: Deku the Smiling Hero!

Melissa: The Symbol of Hope!

Eri: My Papa!

Bakugo: BIAS! You two are banging him and Eri worships the dirt he walks on.

Eri: Uncle Kaka...

Bakugo: Sorry, but...you kind of do think he can do no wrong, kiddo.

Kaminari: Not to get off topic but uh...Yo, Midoriya.

Izuku: Sup?

Kaminari: Ya got a parcel from SHIELD. Ya mind opening this bad boy up before I get impatient?

Izuku: From SHIELD? Oh! Must be from Dad. He's done this a few times. Usually sends me American All Might merch.

Bakugo: I remember those care packages when I visited.

Kaminari: That's boring. Screw it. I'm opening it.

Izuku: OMW. Like I said, it's likely All Might merch.

Kaminari: What in the heck is this?!

Kaminari: [Holds up a Hero Costume resembling Captain America's SHIELD suit lacking the Star in the chest].

Izuku: What the?!

Melissa: OH! I recognize that gear. I snuck a request in Midoriya's email to his father to send me that. Sorry about that, sweetie.

Izuku: You asked my Dad for an old Captain America costume? Why?

Melissa: I wanted to see if I can modify you're current suit with some of the SHIELD standard padding for the torso and legs. It's a lightweight, titanium-dipped, tri-weave that I think I can meld to fit your growing body type. It's super durable against gunfire and can even stop certain classifications of knives. Still has a few small areas I think I can fix too. But...let's NOT deal in repeated knife fights, eh?

Ochako: Considering Himiko Toga...That may be hard to avoid. That girl's got nothing BUT knives...and syringes.

Melissa: Also there's a...bunch of comics and Video games? Guilty Gear...Transformers? Oh! That's Bumblebee the movie. I never saw that! MOVIE NIGHT!

Eri: Bumblebee? Who dat?

Tenya: Grammar, please?

Eri: Oops! Sorry, Uncle Tennie. Who's that?

Melissa: Bumblebee is that yellow car from the Transformers poster you saw in my room! He's my favorite. He reminds me of Midoriya sometimes.

Eri: Can I watch? Please? Please? Please?

Ochako: I dunno...The last Transformers movies were kinda pushing the violence a bit.

Izuku: We'll give it a go. If it's too much for her, then we turn it off. That okay, Mel?

Melissa: Not a problem. Now...let me at that suit. Izuku, that means you can't do patrols since I'm messing with the costume.

Izuku: No problem. All Might wants me to get back into some Quirk Practice training.

Bakugo: I'll get the health packs.

Izuku: Ha ha. It's for Float man.

Bakugo: Getting Recovery Girl on retainer.

Izuku: DUDE!

Ochako: I'll help keep an eye on ya, babe. Eri too.

Tsuyu: Um...Has anyone seen Tokoyami?

Tenya: What?

Koda: What?

Ojiro: He's outside, he's scrunched up in a tree branch. Sero's here too.

Tokoyami: I AM ONE WITH MY KIND NOW!

Izuku: O-O.

Ochako: o-o.

Shoto: The hell is he on about? Ack...Midoriya, your aunt really kicks like a mule.

Miruko: Ya mean like a Rabbit, don't ya, Half and Half?

Shoto: Oh for God's sake...It's like there's TWO Bakugos now.

Bakugo: The fuck's that supposed to mean?

Sero: I cracked a joke to Tokoyami. It was just a bit of fun! I saw some birds in the tree and told him to say hi to his brothers and sisters. He climbed the tree and now he won't come down to spite me.

Tokoyami: I WILL NEVER COME DOWN!

Ojiro: Oh brother...

Tooru: Oh criminy. We're gonna be all day with this.

Tokoyami: CAW CAW BITCH!

Eri: Uncle Toko!

Tokoyami: WHA--I mean...Yes, Eri?

Izuku/Ochako/Sero: O-o.

Eri: I have a piece of Grandma Inko's Apple Pie. Wanna share?

Tokoyami:

Eri: Please? Uncle Sero was being dumb.

Sero: HEY!

Ojiro: Dude, that was rather dumb of you to be that way.

Sero: Fine. I'm sorry.

Tokoyami: Okay, I'm coming down.

Eri: Thank you, Uncle Toko! Want ice cream too?

Tokoyami: What flavor's in the fridge?

Eri: Chocolate Fudge Brownie?

Tokoyami: Triple the darkness of delights. I am on my way...Now, eh...How do I get down?

Sero: Use Dark Shadow to help you dude.

Tokoyami: Oh. Right.

Momo: I'm sorry but what was that loud thud?

Ojiro: Tokoyami tried to get Dark Shadow to help him down...but, then he fell. Dark Shadow's just laughing.

Izuku: I called Recovery Girl.

Sero: He's fine! He's just got a bruise or two. He's fine.

Tsuyu: Better be safe than sorry! Tokoyami! You okay?

Tokoyami: I hate being part bird...

Tsuyu: Eri, can I take that pie piece to Tokoyami? And the ice cream?

Eri: Okay, Aunt Froppy!

Tsuyu: ///. I love our little family.

Bakugo: You mean you love being called an Aunt?

Tokoyami: Silence, Uncle _Kaka_.

Bakugo: HEY! I can murder your backside anytime, birdbrain!

Melissa: Never a dull moment. Also...Where's the suit? Kaminari?

Kaminari: What?

Melissa: Where did the suit go?

Kaminari: What suit? I didn't see any suit?

Melissa: You sent a picture of that Captain America Suit! From Midoriya's father's care package. If you hid that suit away, I will have Midoriya call his father and send SHIELD on you!

Kaminari: I left the suit next to the package. I didn't touch the dang thing.

Jirou: Charge Dolt, if you ever want any more jam sessions or respect from me, you'll give her back the suit!

Kaminari: I DON'T HAVE THE SUIT! I LEFT IT BY THE DAMN BOX! I'm not that insensitive as to steal from friends, c'mon!

Eri: Wait...the that suit was for Papa? I brought it to Mama's room. I thought it'd be safe there.

Melissa: Oh, thank god. Sweetie. You have to tell me these things. But, I'm glad you kept it safe for Mommy. Kami...Sorry, for accusing you. I was pretty scared for a bit.

Kaminari: No problem. BTW...Why were there a pair very skimpy, see-through Arabian Princess dresses? Like...for Strippers?

Melissa: What?

Izuku: Wait...Repeat that...There were WHAT?

Kaminari: Yeah...three different colored Arabian belly dancer kinds of dresses. A letter said: I don't know why you asked for THREE dresses, son. But, I won't pry?

Izuku: I didn't ask for ANY?! Melissa?

Melissa: Don't look at me! I put the suit in the request...Ocha?

Izuku: Ochako?

Ochako: 

Ochako:

Ochako: ///.

Izuku/Melissa: YOU ORDERED THEM?! WHY?!

**Ochako has left the chat**

Izuku: HEY! Come back!

Melissa: Where did she go?!

Eri: Mama's in her room. I think she's throwing out the pretty dresses.

Melissa: Izu! Get to Chako's room! I'm on the way from the Lab!

**Izuku has left the chat**

Melissa has left the chat

Tsuyu: Let's let those guys deal with that.

Kaminari: So...Ochako convinced Deku's Dad to send unbelievably risque Belly Dancer dresses...Why?

Tenya: I can...fathom an idea. What day is it today?

Kirishima: It's gonna be July 10th...Wait...When's Midori-Bro's birthday?

Bakugo: July 15th, so then...Oh fucking hell, Round Face. You thirsty ass woman. She really planned ahead for this one.

Mina: DAMN! I could had a sexy dress when I was dating Deku?! Damn.

Kirishima: To be fair, Horn Babe...You look hot in anything you're given.

Mina: You're getting rewarded tonight.

Kaminari: WAIT A SEC! Deku's got 2 girlfriends.

Momo: Yes?

Kaminari: Why did she send thr--Wait a second, this box has several dresses?!

Miruko: The hell?!

Eri: Oh? Mama asked for how many?

Kaminari: AH! A letter! Says here: Okay, son. I heard from Inko you had three girlfriends. But, one of them left you. I don't know why you asked for dresses for...EACH GIRL IN YOUR CLASS?!

Bakugo: THE ABSOLUTE WHAT?!

Kaminari: You must have the Akatani...Is Eri still here?

Eri: Hi.

Kaminari: Um...Sweetie. This chat needs to be adult only for a while. Do you mind?

Eri: Okay! I'm playing Pokemon in Papa's room since Mama, Mommy and Papa are talking in Mama's room.

**Eri has left the chat**

Kaminari: Continuing over: The Akatani...Sex Drive. Please do so with extreme moderation. I don't your mother and I can handle grandkids so soon.

Shoto: One dress for each girl in the class? So, Uraraka, Ashido, Jirou, Yaoyorozu, Hagakure, Asui...How many dresses are in there.

Shouji: Aside from the two that I assume were Uraraka and Melissa's...there's one for Asui, Ashido, Jirou, Hagakure, Yaoyorozu...Wait a tick...1, 2, 3...There's MORE. Oh, wait...wait...I miscounted. That's all of...Oh wait...there's IS ONE more. Says here (For the mechanic girl who fixed your costume in First Year...Give it to her so she can dance for HER boyfriend). Deku's Dad is _WEIRD_.

Miruko: Damn! How did Inko deal with Hisashi back then? How did he not leave her with a LIMP?!

Bakugo: It did say moderate.

**Izuku has returned to the chat**

Izuku: Okay...Back from Ochako's room. She's rather upset right now.

Bakugo: Why? Because she showed how much of a thirsty girlfriend she is?

Izuku: Because she didn't want me to know about the dresses until my Birthday. She was going to tell Melissa and they'd surprise me.

Tsuyu: So, why did your Dad send dresses for ALL of us?

Izuku: Sorry, what?

Tsuyu: [Shows images of the dresses for each classmate and Mei].

Izuku: What does my Dad think I am? A sex god?

Jirou: Given the 'Akatani Sex Drive'...Not far off from thinking that, Green.

Shinsou: Jeesh, Midoriya...How is your Dicku not broken?

Bakugo: HA! Dicku...Ahhh, fucking hell, there goes my good night's sleep.

Shinsou: What? Imagining your GF in one of these dresses gettin' railed on by Greens?

Izuku: O-O...Shinsou...I don't need a mental image of THAT!

Bakugo: What? You sayin' My Ms. Illusion's not good enough for you, jackass?!

Izuku: DO YOU WANT ME TO SLEEP WITH HER?!

Bakugo: NO! I DON'T!

Izuku: Then don't offer! I believe in loyal relationships. I'm not a cheater...nor whatever those guys are who steal girlfriends. Two...Is ENOUGH...Trust me.

Mina: As I recall, I'm technically your Third GF.

Izuku: Please God no...I can't handle anymore!

Mina: I'm joking dude. Lord almighty.

Izuku: You mean Lord All Might-y?

Kirishima: Gah! I cringed at that dude. That's a Dad joke.

Shoto: You mean a 'Dad Might' joke?

Kirishima: O.O NO!!!! NOT ANOTHER ONE!

Shoto: Sorry.

Kirishima: It's okay...Just...Never again, please.

Bakugo: Never knew you hated bad Dad jokes.

Kirishima: Just...they're so bad word play.

Izuku: Where's Eri?

Jirou: Your room. I'm trying on my dress.

Kaminari: May I help give a second opinion.

Jirou Sure, why--WAIT NO! Perv!

Kaminari: Can't fault me for trying? It looked pretty. Dark purple, had little sound wave, jingly thingies.

Momo: I'm with Jirou. We're both examining the dresses.

Shoto: May I critique it, Yaoyorozu?

Momo: O.O...Maybe in private, Todoroki.

Shoto: *thumbs up in deadpan*.

Mina: Kirishima...Your room. Make sure your Quirk's _working_ ~!

Kirishima: Oh my Riot...I'm going to live la vida loca!

Bakugo: Congrats, Deku...You're starting an orgy.

Miruko: Only the best for my nephew?

Izuku: I'm calling Recovery Girl to send condoms to everyone in the dorms. I don't care if it's just our class, but, everyone in the dorms get condoms.

**Recovery Girl has entered the chat**

Recovery Girl: Please everyone practice safe sex. For god's sake...

Izuku: Promise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love TFS reference humor.
> 
> Also Hisashi is a dork!


	14. Boys to...Girls?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now it's time for some stupid crap :)
> 
> Time to mess with the boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm bringing back a fan favorite character!
> 
> If anyone's read the Class 1-A Hell Chat...this scenario will be familiar...

One week passed since Class 1-A's girls received their 'gifts' from Izuku's father. Much to his embarrassment.

**Katsuki Bakugo has opened the Class 1-A Chat**

**Katsuki Bakugo has invited everyone in his contact list to chat**

Bakugo: Alright, you fuckers! WHO DID IT?!

Tenya: I for one agree, who is responsible for this travesty!

Satou: What the hell are you dunces talking about? It's 4AM HERE!

Shouji: Yeah, we're tryna sleep. Let me brood nap in solace.

Kouda: Okay, I heard that shriek from Izuku's room! Why do I hear 4 girls in Deku's room?

Bakugo: FUCKING HELL! Dammit, nerd, keep it in yer pants! You got two girlfriends. You don't need 4! Back to the topic at hand...

Izuku: WHO THE HELL DID THIS TO ME?!

Bakugo: Wait...Was one of those girly screams...you?

Kaminari: WTF HAPPENED TO ME!

Kirishima: I'M NOT MANLY ANYMORE!

Mina: Who did this to MY MAN!

Shouji: The hell's going on?!

Shoto: I feel violated. Why am I a woman all of a sudden?!

Satou: O_O.

Kouda: Oh...That explains all the girl screams.

Ochako: WHO TURNED MY DEKU INTO A GIRL?!

Melissa: A surprisingly sexy girl, but DAMN!

Ochako: Melissa...PRIORITIES, SISTER!

Eri: Why is Papa a Mama? I want my Papa back!

Izuku: It's okay, sweetie. Don't cry. Papa will be back to normal as soon we find out how this happened.

Momo: Wait...Who here has been turned into a female version of themselves.

Izuku/Bakugo/Tenya/Kaminari/Kirishima/Sero: ME!

Kirishima: Wait...YOU TOO, Sero?

Sero: Yeah, got back from my date with Ibara. Saw some weirdo last night mentioning vengeance will be served. Went to bed. Woke up and now I don't have my DICK!

Izuku: Imagine waking up with three angels and finding out you're the fourth...THAT WAS AWKWARD!

Ochako: I will admit, I was right. You look like a super cute version of your Mom with the curly hair and freckles. I'm imagining how our kids would be when we're old enough for it.

Izuku: O.O ///.

Melissa: I have a baby imager site that predicts that. I sent the link.

Ochako: Oh! Oh my gosh so cute! [Picture resembling Nana Midoriya from the Class U-A story appears].

Melissa: Oh! That is downright illegal for how adorable that girl is.

Izuku: CAN WE FOCUS!

Momo: The baby picture IS cute but...Sero, what was that about 'vengeance'.

Sero: It was some guy from General Studies. Something about, 'I did what you paid for. Go get your vengeance...fucking perv'. I remembered it vividly.

Bakugo: A GEN STUDIES KID DID THIS?! Wait, he's got a Gender Bending Quirk? Deku! Why didn't you know about this?!

Izuku: I don't have a full roster of every student here, Kacchan!

Bakugo: -_-. Fucking hell.

Eri: So...a student from another class did this to my Papa? Why? Why do people always attack my Papa?!

Bakugo: Kiddo, it wasn't just your Papa. Wait a tick. Why didn't Fat lips, tentacle face, rock head and French fry get affected?!

Aoyama: Merde. Pourquoi devez-vous dire des choses aussi méchantes?

Tokoyami: What devilry have I fallen into this time?!

Tsuyu: Why is Tokoyami a girl? *Reads chat*...Oh. What the heck is up with these things?

Izuku: I wish I...Wait...A guy who a gender changing quirk just affected everyone in Class 1-A who were in a relationship.

Shoto: But...I don't have a girlfriend yet.

Momo: Did you enjoy my demonstration of that red dancing dress.

Shoto: You were quite beautiful, Momo.

Momo: I definitely did enjoy my 'dance' for you.

Jirou: Okay, this is super confusing. I have to hit the breaks without breaking my clutch here. Kaminari is both cool as a boy...But...WHY IS HIS BUST BIGGER THAN MINE?

Kaminari: I'm seriously trying not to focus on that. Please, brain focus on the issue at hand.

Izuku: Oh god no...

Ochako: What? Deku?

Melissa: Green bean?

Ochako: How many nicknames does Deku even get?!

Melissa: I compiled a list?

Ochako: O.o. Pass it here, sweetheart.

Eri: Can I see too?

Ochako: Depends on what I see if it's appropriate.

Melissa: I gave you the G rated one, sweetums.

Satou: Midoriya, why are you panicking?!

Izuku: Who would benefit the most for seeing the boys in a relationship suffer?!

Bakugo: Wait a second! How would this Gen Studies kid know I got a girlfriend too?!

Sero: You got a girlfriend?

**Mei has entered the chat**

Mei: Hey guys...

Tenya: Mey, darling! Forgive me but it appears I have been transmogrified into

Mei: I know about the gender bending thing. That gen studies student was telling his pals about it. I...requested he assist me with testing a baby of mine.

Tenya: Which one?

Mei: A Virtual Torture Rack. He's not hurt, but the VR system messed with his head a bit. No one screws with my man.

Tenya: O.O

Bakugo: Four Eyes...your girl is one scary bitch.

Mei: I'll take that as a compliment.

Bakugo: IT WASN'T THO!

Kouda: I heard screaming again. Jirou, you okay?!

Jirou: Kaminari just got attacked by some ninja midget!...Tore off his shirt and took pictures?!

Kaminari: HELP! THESE BALLS PINNED ME TO A WALL!

Kirishima: Oh shit! Hang on bro--I mean sis...I mean!

Mina: FOCUS, BABE!

Izuku: No! All boys-turned-into-girls! Stay in your rooms and barricade yourselves! I know who paid off that student!

**Grapes of Wrath has entered the chat**

Grapes of Wrath: Excellent deduction...you playboy jerkface!

Ochako: Who?!

Izuku: Mineta...How did you get past the firewalls?! You were barred from our networks! You were expelled from UA!!

Grapes of Wrath: I have some powerful friends who gave me the means to torment you bastards for ruining my life!

Bakugo: THE FRUIT CAKE?! FUCK THIS! I WANT HIS HEAD MOUNTED ON MY WALL!

Grapes of Wrath: Oh really, dear Bakago. I fear you won't survive the ruination I will inflict upon you.

Bakugo: GAH! WHAT THE?! BALLS?...FU

Izuku: He got to Kacchan!

Satou: I just reached his room! He's pinned down and his shirt and pants are gone. Just in boxers...Sorry man, I kinda had to break in.

Bakugo: GET ME ANOTHER SHIRT! AND A RUSTY CARVING KNIFE!

Kirishima: HELP ME! He's trying to get into my room through the vents!

Mina: HEY! Xenomorph shit is my shtick! You start spewing acid and I'll sue you in H.R. Giger's name!

Shoto: Dammit! I'm under attack! Where did he get these skills?!

Momo: Todoroki! Hang on! I'm coming over now!

Tenya: Midoriya, I'm headed your way. More people together mean more people to defend against this betrayal!

Grapes of Wrath: Oh? I'm the traitor? No...You're all traitors. You betrayed _me_.

Tsuyu: Excuse you?! THEY aren't traitors! You're the one who got Midoriya-chan's book destroyed. Implied his mother was promiscuous and called him the UA Traitor. You only have yourself to blame.

Grapes of Wrath: His mom is a fat sack. His aunt's a bunny tailed carpet muncher and DEKU GETS HIS JUST PUNISHMENT!

Eri: What's a carpet muncher?

Class 1-A members: NOT UNTIL YOU'RE OLDER!

Grapes of Wrath: Oh, dear sweet Eri...If only these fools didn't keep you in the innocent ways. You'd be seeing things my way easily.

Izuku: Eri. Stay with Mama and Mommy. Papa needs to commit a bad thing to a very BAD PERSON.

Grapes of Wrath: Come then, you hypocrite.

Ochako: How is Deku the hypocrite?!

Grapes of Wrath: Easy. I got three reasons: 1) Ochako Uraraka and 2) Mina Ashido and 3) Melissa Shield. You three have been in congress with this tiny man's weak sauce ass when you could have had a god tier husbando! ME! And he has the gall to act all high and mighty about my perversion, yet he's FUCKED ALL OF YOU.

Mina: Actually, at most I made out with him in my undies. But, Chako and Mel HAVE banged Deku.

Eri: What does that mean?

Mina: Oh crap! Can someone remove her?! This is getting awkward with both the pinnacle of innocent love and the ultimate pervert in the same chat.

**Eri has been removed from the chat**

Ochako: Eri's really confused about the harsh language right now.

Izuku: We'll have to break things down to her later. But first things first...MINETA! WHY COME BACK?!

Grapes of Wrath: I just said. For revenge. You boys are just as perverted as me. But, you hide behind such antiquated concepts as 'morality'. Consider my...visit a taste of things to come. Punishment for ostracizing one of your own.

Bakugo: BITCH YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER FOR THIS!!

Grapes of Wrath: Oh shut up, you windbag. Says the boy who has phone sex with that bombshell from Shiktetsu. She was quite lovely, I might add.

Bakugo: You better not have done what I hope you haven't.

Grapes of Wrath: I didn't...but, she sleeps quite well. She doesn't know me, but she will someday. She has a plushie you. Maybe I'll replace it with one of mine.

Grapes of Wrath: And Iida...You and Mei have an 'interesting' sex life. Those 'babies' she keeps must make her feel quite better compared to your efforts.

Tenya: YOU FIEND!

Mei: BITCH! TENNIE'S THE BEST I EVER GET! AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU EMASCULATE HIM!

Grapes of Wrath: And Kirishima...Not so manly now, you confused freak!

Mina: I will melt you entire DICK OFF WORM!

Grapes of Wrath: Ahh...Kaminari, old friend. Consider this my punishment for betraying and denouncing our friendship.

Jirou: You asshole! You getting kicked out has helped Kami plenty! I will make sure you get yours, ass!

Grapes of Wrath: I...Hmmm...I don't know what to say about Sero or Todoroki. Meh, fuck 'em.

Momo: I will personally make your life a living hell, you pint-sized abomination. Shoto does not deserve your mistreatment! He will be a top hero despite your disgusting efforts!

Grapes of Wrath: And Um...Uhh...Wait did I get everyone? Midoriya?

Izuku: You already mocked my mother, aunt and my love life. And you made a threatening pass at MY DAUGHTER. I will look for you...I will find you...and I will make sure you see justice!

Ochako: Damn straight. Then I'm gonna yeet yer ass to Mars!

Melissa: Not before I put him through some...tests!

Grapes of Wrath: Ah well...Also...Toga says hi. She is quite a lovely girl.

Izuku: Well, you can keep her. I got 5 yen saying she'll gut you when she hears about this.

Grapes of Wrath: HA! She suggested this for kicks.

Bakugo: DAMMIT! Someone call the teachers!

Satou: On it!

Ochako: Eri's calling Inko and Miruko! Miruko will hunt you down hard, grapist.

Grapes of Wrath: Whatever. Ta Ta!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VILLAIN MINETA HAS ENTERED THE CHAT!


	15. WHO WANTS SQUASHED GRAPES?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Mineta gloats about his 'vengeance' he doesn't take into account...the Girl GENIUS! And the very protective Aunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Grape Juice Has Been SPILLED!

Grapes of Wrath: Well, my vengeance will continue! I will make Class 1-A suffer for forsaking me! Once I aid the League of Villains, ALL OF THE GIRLS WILL BE MINE!

Ochako: Ewww! You want us as slaves?!

Melissa: God, I don't remember this guy being so bad back at I-Island.

Grapes of Wrath: Well, being insulted, mocked and treated hypocritically will do that to you...ehhhhh...Who is Melissa again?

Melissa: Melissa Shield...You worked as a Waiter with Kaminari on my father's island.

Grapes of Wrath: Oh yeah...Nice rack but the Quirklessness...kind of a turn off.

Ochako: I WILL CLAW YOUR EYES OUT!

Grapes of Wrath: Whatever, chubby.

Class 1-A/Eri/Melissa/Mei: What did you just say?

Grapes of Wrath: I called her chubby. What? Can't handle some ribbing from a 'midget'?

Ochako:

**Ochako has left the chat**

Bakugo: YOUR BODY WILL BE MY LATRINE, PURPLE SHIT LORD!

Tenya: YOU WILL NOT INSULT FORMER CLASSMATES IN SUCH A MANNER!

Izuku:

Melissa: Zu-Zu? Sweetie? You're uh...really quiet right now...Babe? BABE?!

Izuku: Mei.

Grapes of Wrath: Who?

Mei: Sup, Big Green?

Izuku: Is that student still in your workshop?

Mei: Oh, he is. You wish to speak to him.

Izuku: Be there in a few minutes.

Izuku: Mineta. You have selected the nuclear option. Hope you made your Will.

**Izuku has left the chat**

Grapes of Wrath: The hell is that supposed to mean?

Bakugo: I think I know...and I'm both impressed and concerned.

Mina: Where's Chako, Mel? Where's our girl?!

Melissa: In Izuku's room with me and Eri. She's...oh God...I'll be back.

**Melissa has left the chat**

Grapes of Wrath: Jeez, what a drama queen. I call her chubby. Big freaking whoop. I didn't call her obese.

Tsuyu: Ochako has body image issues! You purple haired creep! Have you ever considered that your behavior is why girls don't like you?!

Grapes of Wrath: Have you considered that hormones are natural and you're in denial?! Seriously! You used your tongue on my face several times back in First Year! I'm surprised you haven't developed a taste for my sexy body.

Tokoyami: No one will identify your corpse when Dark Shadow and I are done with you!

Grapes of Wrath: Whatever you say, Murkrow.

**Izuku has re-entered the chat**

Izuku: Hope you made your peace, Mineta.

Grapes of Wrath: Oh ho! Well, here I thought you had a shit sense of humor. How would I make my peace?

Izuku: Your buddy sold you out. And your P-QAD members. Though seriously...P-QAD? Just...blegh.

Bakugo: Should I even ask?

Grapes of Wrath: Perverts Quantified Against Denialists.

Sero: THAT'S NOT A WORD!

Aoyoma: Je t'accuse d'être stupide!

Grapes of Wrath: What?

Satou: He said I accuse you of being stupid.

Aoyama: Ce qu'il a dit!

Grapes of Wrath: Whatever.

Izuku: Aizawa already rounded up your squadies. Their Quirks were all for perverted fetishes. Age changing, gender swapping, hormone manipulation?! You disgust me.

Grapes of Wrath: No. I'm an honest human who appreciates a female figure. Unfortunately, women don't accept our thinking. With the League's help, I will make women see things MY way! LOL.

Izuku: Too bad my Aunt's on her way~!

Class 1-A: Oooooooh.

**Eri has re-entered the chat**

Eri: Aunt Bunny's gonna kick your bum.

Grapes of Wrath: There's no way she knows where I am.

Izuku:

Izuku: Corner of 3rd Street and Kitsune Drive in Okinawa. She should be there right about...Now.

Grapes of Wrath: OH GOD NO! YOU CAN'T STOP THE SIGNAL! YOU CA

**Miruko has entered the chat**

Miruko: Who wants squashed grapes?! I DO! Nobody screws with my niece.

Izuku: Nephew!

Miruko: Sorry. Jumped the gun there! Still, you are adorable in either gender, sweetie. Hawks and I are bringing this punk's ass back to UA. Nedzu can deal with his shit. How long is that Quirk supposed to last?

Izuku: The guy said until sundown.

The Guys: OH THANK ALL MIGHT!

Girls: Thank god!

Eri: Yay! Mama is super happy! And she said...um...what does yeet into orbit mean?

Momo: She wants to throw Mineta into outer space, sweetheart.

Eri: Oh! Can I watch?

Shoto: Depends on what Nedzu says, little one.

Eri: Oh...

Izuku: Don't worry. Nedzu may give him to us for proper disciplinary action.

Eri: Okay! Oh! Grandma Inko wants to know if Mama's okay. Can I tell her?!

Izuku: Ask Mama and Mommy. I'm dealing with the guy in Mei's lab!

Tenya: I'm on my way. This fiendish student has been lost from the path of righteousness.

Izuku: Tenya...he's a Gen Ed Student. He came to UA for regular studies. He doesn't care for Heroes.

Tenya: NONSENSE! Morals are for everyone! Not just the Hero Course.

Izuku: Okay...He's all yours. Just wish he didn't hit a low blow with me.

Bakugo: Whaddya mean?

Izuku: You remember your posse from Arudera?

Bakugo: What do those clods gotta do with this?

Izuku: He's one your old posse's family members.

Bakugo: Oh damn.

Kirishima: I'm sensing some regret. Care to explain.

Bakugo: I heard a winged kid from when me and Deku were kids went missing a year ago. Was that kid related?

Izuku: To Tsubasa? No...He's related to Yokino.

Bakugo: The long fingered twerp?! Well, that's not too bad.

Kaminari: Wait...a winged kid named Tsubasa went missing a year ago?...Was he pudgy and kinda short haired with red dragon wings.

Jirou: You make it sound like you met him.

Kaminari: I remember a kid with that description from when I frequented arcades. Kid used to kick my butt at Street Fighter. Then he just stopped showing up.

Kouda: Sounds ominous.

Izuku: Hmmmm...

Bakugo: What?

Izuku: I'm remember the Stain Incident. Iida, Todoroki...Remember that Winged Noumu. Did anyone have a picture of it?

Shoto: My father's interns took autopsy images. I was sent one as 'potential research for the future enemy conquests'.

Izuku: Huh...Can you send me

Shoto: Done. I find it creepy.

Izuku: Holy crap!

Shoto: What? It is creepy.

Tenya: Midoriya isn't referring to your statement, Todoroki. Midoriya...What's wrong?

Izuku: Bakugo! I need you to see this.

Bakugo: Don't send me

Bakugo: What the FUCK?! Those wings and those damn shorts...It can't be...

Izuku: I think it is.

Eri: Papa! What's wrong?!

Mina: Yeah, Midori! What's so special about those brain monster things.

Izuku: Guys...this monster...was a kid Bakugo and I knew from when childhood!

Class 1-A: WHAT?!

Izuku: Who the hell does this to people?!

Bakugo: Oi! Do ya think his old man was told?

Izuku: Doctor Tsubasa? Probably not. Think we should tell him?

**Aizawa has entered the chat**

Aizawa: No. You will not tell him.

Class 1-A/Eri/Melissa: WHAT?! WHY NOT?!

Aizawa: The Noumu there is evidence of a bigger plot. We even received word that most of the Noumu were in fact Humans. But, currently that's being researched by those who are looking into reversing the transformations.

Eri: Can I help? Maybe my Quirk can

Aizawa: No! I refuse to allow you near them. There's a chance they could violently react to your attempts. I will not endanger a child for a one in a billion chance cure.

Eri: But, Papazawa!

Aizawa: I won't allow it. Eri, you were given a chance to live as normal a life as possible. You're also a very young child. As an adult and your current Guardian, it would be wrong of me to have you involved in those matters. I want you to live a happy life. Maybe when you hit adulthood and your Quirk Control has become substantially better and MAYBE...with proper supervision and security measures, I will allow it.

Eri:

Eri: Okay.

**Eri has left the chat**

Izuku: Weren't you being just a little harsh, Sensei?

Aizawa: I know I was, Midoriya. But, as a parent...we have to be firm in these matters. When you have children...you'll see my point.

Izuku: I...see.

**Melissa has returned to the chat**

Melissa: Okay, everyone! I'm making dinner! Who wants Pizza?

Bakugo: Huh, that sounds decent for once.

Jirou: Sorry to bring everyone off topic but...the boys-to-girls group...What did you do about your busts?

Izuku: Wha?

Momo: She wants to know everyone's chest sizes...you know...because of her issues?

Kaminari: I know I'm a B-Cup. I think.

Jirou: Confirmed that shit.

Shoto: Same.

Jirou: Huh...expected bigger.

Tenya: I believe I'm between C-Cup and D-Cup?

Jirou: Figures the tallest boy has the biggest.

Bakugo: Actually...I'm D-Cup.

Izuku: Same.

Jirou: HUH?!

Melissa: Can confirm, Deku has some big knockers. Bigger than mine and Ochako's...She's even poking and fondling them right now to distract herself.

Izuku: I just got back from the Workshop and Ochako's...fondling is making me feel funny...and Melissa's just...drooling at me.

Sero: I'm B-Cup.

Jirou: God dammit.

Eri: Um, Papa, should I stay with Aunt Kaka for the night?

Izuku: Yes. You mind, Bakugo?

Bakugo: Sorry, I'm supposed to be seeing Hound Dog. Yo, Red and Pink? Ya mind?

Mina: Do I mind spending more time with my favorite Horn Buddy Niece? Not at all! C'mon, sweetie! We're gonna braid those precious locks of yours!

Eri: Okay! Bye Papa!

Izuku: G'nite, Errei! Hey!

**Eri has left the chat**

Izuku: Now um...Now Melissa...Wait, Ocha...STOP UNDRE

**Izuku, Ochako and Melissa have left the chat**

Bakugo: I'm hearin' Deku callin' fer help. Should we?

Jirou: Nah! Let Midoriya have his first Lesbian experience. All y'all should try it.

Momo:

Shoto:

Momo: <3.

**Shoto and Momo have left the chat**

Mina: We got Eri over so...nah. I gots me some hair to braid!

Kirishima: Yer not doing mine, right?

Mina: lol no! Your hair's perfect.

Kirishima: Love you so much!

**Kirishima and Mina have left the chat**

Ojiro: I just realized...I never got affected by that Quirk.

Tooru: HAHA! Mineta forgot you! I guess I still get my BF!

Ojiro: Dunno whether to laugh or be insulted. Either way, I'm still me.

**Ojiro and Tooru have left the chat**

Jirou: Well...Tsuyu and Tokoyami are eating Pizza in the common room. Momo and Shoto are...doing something. Midoriya's getting eaten out. Kiri and Mina are relaxing with the snowball. Tenya's with Mei, torturing that asshole...Who's missing?

Kaminari: Hiiii~!

Jirou: Kami...No...Stay back! No! NO! STOP TICKLING ME! HELP! GET HIM/HER OFFA

**Kaminari and Jirou have left the chat**

Kouda: Jirou is blessed.

Bakugo: I wish I wasn't blessed to see THAT. I'm going to bed.

Shouji: What about Hound Dog?

Bakugo: Skyping him. I'm not letting ANYBODY see my jugs, bitch.

Shouji: Fair enough. Later. I'm having pizza.

Kouda: I could bring you some?

Bakugo: Ya know rock head...sure. I appreciate it.

Kouda: 8)

Bakugo: Stick to basic emojis dude.

Kouda: Fair.

Aoyama: Bonne nuit!


	16. Prepping for a Party!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the Grape Fruit freshly picked off...Our class decided to celebrate with a PARTY!
> 
> Now...what is everyone going to be...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Costume options can be submitted in the comments below. But, remember. PG. We got Eri in this party, ya dig?

**Tenya Iida has opened Class 1-A Chat**

**Tenya Iida has invited everyone in contacts to Chat**

Tenya: Good morning everyone! I hope everyone is well rested this fine day!

Satou: Bitch, it's still too. Damn. EARLY!

Melissa: Yeah, Iida...we're still snoozing over here. And I'm American, my internal clocks still getting fine tuned.

Mina: Midoriya can help you with that~! ;)

Melissa: Oh he does indeed. Every night.

Bakugo: Can I not wake up to the sound of blondie espousing how much Izuku's cock she drank from last night?

Ochako: Bakugo! Language!

Tenya: Huh...That's my bit.

Ochako: No! Eri came back to our room last night! After Deku turned back to normal during our...fun...Eri came back and fell asleep in front of Deku's dorm room door.

Mina: I was seriously panicking when she vanished last night.

Bakugo: Were you and Kirishima making out or something?

Mina: We were watching anime, Baku-brain!

Bakugo: Excuse me but that's a new one.

Kirishima: We were watching Cardcaptor Sakura. Thought she'd like it, but, then she said she needed to use the girl's room...and never came back.

**Eri has entered the chat**

Eri: Sorry, Uncle Shima and Aunt Mina. I just...I missed Papa and wanted to see if he was back to normal. I heard giggling and weird noises from his room, but he didn't sound hurt so I just waited there.

Izuku: It's okay, sweetie. You could have knocked and we'd have opened the door for you.

Melissa: Yeah! You're our Princess. We'd be there for you anytime and anyplace.

Ochako: Ditto! You're special to us!

Eri: I love my parents! <3.

Izuku/Ochako/Melissa: Love you too, Eri!

Kouda: :).

Bakugo: Okay, can we tone down the schmultz?

Kirishima: You jealous, Baku-Bro? Do you need some affection in your life too?

Bakugo: Dude, we ain't hooking back up.

Kirishima: Never said that. But, Mina and I could adopt you?

Bakugo: I got enough family members, thanks.

**Mei has entered the chat**

Mei: SUP BITCHES! Principal Nedzu's got the purple pisspot working in my workshop as the eternal guinea pig!

Bakugo: Please, tell me you record the torment!

Mei: Spiky! I always record my work! I'll be sending it to you guys when I have the first compilation set.

Bakugo: Oh, I'm gonna get popcorn for that!

Momo: I look forward to seeing it.

Shoto: Momo, you've become quite...sadistic since Mineta returned and is being punished for his behavior.

Momo: I cannot help but enjoy seeing karma play out.

Jirou: I get off on seeing that fucker get broken.

Kaminari: Hawt.

Jirou: You haven't seen me hot yet, Kami. Trust me...you'll be seeing me hot later.

Kaminari: Holy shit.

Eri: Should I even ask? Or is this adult stuff I shouldn't know yet.

Jirou: IT'S ADULT STUFF.

Eri: Can't wait to be an adult with Kota and we can make these lines that I don't even get.

Melissa: Oh lord...

Tenya: Anyway! I was thinking we'd have a party to celebrate this victory!

Shouji: Not really victory though...It's just Mineta!

Tenya: Yes! But, it's technically us defeating a villain! Even if it IS Mineta.

Izuku: Sounds like fun!

Ochako: Yeah! I'm in.

Kirishima: Sounds MANLY!

Mina: I missed it when he got like this. Oh! How about a costume party?

Aoyama: Mais oui! A soiree to show my sparkles!

Tenya: Should there be a theme for this?

Mina: Nah! Just anything goes!

Ojiro: Keep it PG at most, Mina. Remember we got a minor here.

Eri: I don't dig for gold? Or dinosaur bones?

Bakugo: Say wha?

Mina: We also watched Jurassic Park. Eri, you're thinking a MINER. You are a MINOR. Means really young person.

Eri: Oh! Okay!

Izuku: I got an idea for a costume.

Bakugo: If it's All Might, I'm punching you. Counseling be damned.

Izuku: Was gonna dress up like Spider-Man actually.

Ochako: Which one?

Izuku: I liked the basic red/blue costume design. Who else?

**Miruko has entered the chat**

Miruko: YO! What's up kids? I bring tidings of awesome!

Izuku: Morning, Aunt Rumi! We're talking about a costume party for the weekend.

Miruko: I CALL PLAYBOY BUNNY!

Izuku: We have a child in the party!

Eri: Hi, Aunt Bunny!

Miruko: ...How about Lopunny?

Izuku: We'll workshop ideas for ya.

Ochako: Oh! How about I dress up as...Uh...Hmmm...What can I be?

Mina: Kirby?

Ochako: I will yeet you into orbit, Mina.

Eri: !! Don't throw Aunt Mina!

Mina: Please don't...

Kirishima: I will defend my Horn Lover!

Eri: Horn...Lover? What happened to Horn Buddy?

Miruko: Change that to Buddy cuz that can be misconstrued red hair.

Kirishima: Sorry. I know what I'll be!

Bakugo: It better not be

Kirishima: KAMINA! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?!

Bakugo: God...Dammit...

Mina: And I'll be Yoko!

Bakugo: RIP Kirishima.

Sero: Yup!

Mina: I don't get it!

Kirishima: People joke that kissing Yoko in Gurren Lagann means you die soon after.

Mina: OH NOT COOL! Besides, we've done more than kiss, dammit.

Tenya: HOW MANY OF OUR CLASSMATES GO THROUGH SUCH BASED URGES?!

Ochako: Less than you think, more than you know.

Tenya: I need a detailed list of who's in relations with who. I'm getting confused half the time.

Eri: I wrote a list!

Izuku: WHA?!

Eri: Yup! Papa has Mama and Mommy!

Tenya: Established, continue, dear.

Eri: Aunt Mina and Uncle Shima are together!

Tenya: I confirm that. Keep it going.

Ochako: Sweetie! Stop...People could get in trouble!

Eri: It's just a list of who likes who. Dunno what a 'based urge' is.

Melissa: Let's just see how bad it gets, Chako.

Ochako: Okay.

Eri: Auntie Kyo and Uncle Dopey kiss each other sometimes.

Jirou: Oof.

Kaminari: Eri, can I get a new name?

Eri: Auntie Mo and Uncle Sho were hugging each other really weirdly last night.

Momo: ///.

Shoto: Um...I plead the fifth?

Izuku: Too late.

Eri: Uncle Tennie, you and Aunt Mei were holding hands before bed time.

Mei: I won't elaborate.

Tenya: Indeed.

Eri: Uncle Kaka talks with Aunt Camie on his smurtphone.

Bakugo: So...I got a girlfriend now...What of it?

Eri: Uncle Sero was asking Aunt Shiozaki for a kiss once.

Sero: Darn it!

Eri: Um...Oh! Aunt Tsu loves Uncle Toko reading her poetry!

Tsuyu: I confess. His poetry is very sweet.

Tokoyami: Helps I have beautiful inspiration every day.

Tsuyu: <3.

Eri: Um...Oh! Papazawa has kissed Mama Emi!

Class 1-A: WAIT WHAT?!

Miruko: And somehow that's the weirdest thing in the morning.

**Aizawa has entered the chat**

Aizawa: You didn't read that. It doesn't exist. I do not have relations with Ms. Joke.

Miruko: Zawa, do us a favor and jump outta yer ass. Get over yourself. Like the kids are that upset that their teacher, god forbid...has a love life.

Aizawa: I DO NOT HAVE A LOVE LIFE.

Eri: You and Mama Joke aren't happy? Together? But...you said she...she...

Aizawa: I will explain when I pick you up later. It's...complicated.

Eri: ...Okay...

Mina: Damn, Aizawa. Just admit you like her and drop the crap man!

Aizaw: I do not _like_ her. She's loud, always trying to ask me to marry her or date her. She's obnoxious. She's in the wrong profession as a Pro Underground Hero--!

**Ms. Joke has entered the chat**

Ms. Joke: My ears are burning, someone telling some good laughs here?! HA!

Aizawa: HOW?!

Miruko: Bitch, I got connections.

Aizawa: Of course, Problem Child's family has to make me get more gray hairs.

Ms. Joke: Such a kidder.

Eri: We're planning a Costume party, I told Uncle Tennie who liked who and Papazawa says he don't like you.

Aizawa: ERI!

Ms. Joke: Ah, I see. It's okay, short stack. It's just Aizawa's way. He's a Tsundere for yours truly.

Aizawa: Don't fill the kid's head with lies.

Ms. Joke: HA! Such a kidder. Reminds me of last Sunday.

Aizawa: You promised you'd tell NO ONE!

Eri: Huh?

Aizawa: Costume party talk only...NOW!

Eri: Okay! Um...What can I be?

Aizawa: A little kitten.

Eri: Meow?

Aizawa: On your way then.

Ms. Joke: Dress up in a tux and I'll get my wedding dress and we can be a married couple for the party!

Aizawa: I destroyed my tux.

Ms. Joke: Eri...did he destroy his tux?

Eri: No?

Aizawa: Dammit all.

Mina: I'm dying!

Izuku: Aizawa can kill us all without much issue, Mina.

Miruko: I'm the insurance policy against it. Quirk or no Quirk, my legs are classified as lethal weapons.

Ms. Joke: Legs for days?

Miruko: Legs for days, biyatch.

Eri: You two are funny.

Ms. Joke: I'll dress up as a clown for the party.

Aizawa: Well, you got the outfit. You're halfway there.

Satou: KINNUKUMAN!

Shouji: Um...Goro from Mortal Kombat? Or a super boss version, I dunno.

Jirou: I got no idea.

Kaminari: Shocker!

Jirou: Screw you!

Kaminari: No! I'll dress up as Shocker!

Jirou: Why not Electro? He's the electric villain from Spider-Man?

Kaminari: Then...what's Shocker's gimmick?

Izuku: Airblasts.

Kaminari: THEN WHY CALL HIMSELF SHOCKER?! THAT'S MISLEADING!

Izuku: His costume shoots concentrated shockblasts of air. Oddly named, he may be. But, when you figure out what his name refers to, it...kinda makes sense.

Kaminari: Maybe I'll dress up as Gene Simmons from KISS.

Jirou: I'll join you as Paul Stanley.

Kaminari: You are a 'star child' after all.

Jirou: ///.

Momo: I'll be...Hmmm...

Shoto: I might be this 'Prince Zuko' some Student called me.

Momo: Oh! Then I'll be Mai. She's Zuko's love interest. I can't think of anything better right now.

Bakugo: A Barbarian badass.

Izuku: Oh? Like those DnD sessions we do online sometimes?

Bakugo: Hell yeah!

Kouda: I'll be a Tiger.

Aoyama: I will come as my sparkling self.

Kaminari: Shocker...

Jirou: ?

Kaminari: That time I was being a smartass.

Tenya: I will be a Knight in Shining Armor!

Mei: Blacksmith. Goes with your motif.

Tenya: I thank thee!

Shinsou: I'll be Aizawa.

Bakugo: Ya got the look down...Just need the outfit.

Ochako: I'll be the Black Cat!

Melissa: Awww...No fair! I wanted Black Cat too.

Izuku: What about Spider-Girl?

Ochako: Oh! Melissa, you be Black Cat from that Mangaverse comic we read. I'll be Spider-Girl from that comics and Deku can be that Spider-Man!

Izuku: Given how Spider-Man actually exists and people made up stories about him in other universes...this sounds funny.

Melissa: And Eri...Can be our little Spider-Baby!

Eri: I wanna be a Princess.

Aizawa: You said you wanted to be a Kitten.

Eri: No...You said I should be a Kitten.

Aizawa: Kitty Princess?

Eri: Okay! :).

Izuku: And what'll Mineta be?

Everyone: WHY HIM?

Izuku: Well...he IS back technically...And we have to watch him.

Momo: He's my indentured man slave.

Izuku: 500 yen say he'll think you're kinky.

Momo: Okay, a butler.

Izuku: Better.

Bakugo: Mind if I invite Camie over? She can be my Barbarian Wife.

Izuku: So...Red Sonja to you Conan?

Bakugo: Fuck the hell yeah!

Izuku: Ask Aizawa.

Aizawa: Throw me under the bus, kid...Sure, why not.

Bakugo: Bitchin', I gotta call her.

Ms. Joke: Mind if I bring some peeps over?

Aizawa: NO! WHY?!

Ms. Joke: I got a couple of students who are causing trouble and I need to watch them. Yo Shindo and Tatami Nakagame. They've caused a few too many pranks on campus.

Aizawa: What's stopping them from screwing up here?!

Ms. Joke: You...and your class...and Miruko...and that lovely short lady with who made that awesome Beef Stroganoff.

Izuku: Mom made that? It was delicious, huh?

Ms. Joke: That was YOUR Mom. Oh I see the resemblance now.

Sero: Midoriya, change costume. I wanna be Spider-Man!

Izuku: Huh?!

Sero: I got my tape like Spider-Man!

Izuku: Black Whip trumps you.

Sero: C'mon!!! Your Black Whip power is more of a Venom thing than a Spidey thing.

Izuku: FINE...Jeesh. Then I'll go as Agent Venom!

Ochako: Then...Melissa and I will be Agent She-Venom and Mania!

Melissa: Who gets who though?

Ochako: You're taller so...you're Agent She-Venom and I'll be Mania.

Melissa: Better idea: I'll be Gwenom! You be Mania.

Ochako: Deal!

Izuku: We missing anyone? Okay! Let's get to costume making!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'VE FINALLY CAUGHT UP!


	17. IRL Shenanigans Part 3: Endeavors, Costume Selections and The Midoriya Curse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a new chapter!
> 
> Time for some fun! ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1:  
> Endeavor is brought in.
> 
> Part 2:  
> Looking at costumes for Eri.
> 
> Part 3:  
> Meeting with Inko! An Endeavor in itself...Wait what?

**Part 1: Introducing the Flaming Garbage Can!**

The costume party preparations were underway.

All of Class 1-A were working their butts off to create the perfect party locale to celebrate a Villain Attack that was thwarted without incident. Aside from some of the guys being turned to girls for a while.

Shoto Todoroki and Momo Yaoyorozu were working to make ice boxes for the drinks and frozen foods. Momo provided the boxes; Shoto provided the ice.

But, good times weren't going to last. As Shoto and Momo were resting in the Common Room, with Momo snuggling up to Shoto's icy side since it was blisteringly hot out, the dorm doors swung wide open!

Both teens jumped to action, prepped to fight whoever was going to attack! Only to lower their guard as they saw a familiar sight. Standing at 6'4 and as burly as ever in his Hero Costume, was Enji Todoroki AKA Endeavor.

"SHOTO!" Endeavor roared as he stomped into the room.

"...Oh great...Father..." Shoto cringed as his father stepped forth to him.

"What's this I hear of you being beaten soundly by that damned Rabbit Hero, Miruko?!" Endeavor growled as he crossed his arms in frustration.

"It's true. Miruko did soundly knock me out. To be fair, that was my own fault." Shoto replied, his voice trembling.

"WHY DID SHE ASSAULT YOU, MY SON?! WHAT POSSESSED HER TO DO SO?!" Endeavor boomed.

"He attacked a fellow classmate...one who happened to be her nephew!" Momo stepped up, trying to support her classmate.

"And who are you to speak for my son?" Endeavor asked, his voice low and leaning to the girl. Young Todoroki stood between him and her in protectiveness.

"She is Yaoyorozu Momo. My friend. She has every right to speak for me. As I have every right to speak for her here." Shoto explained, his tone threatening.

"I see...Still, why did you assault another student and...wait, Miruko has extended family?" Endeavor asked, genuinely surprised.

"Yes. It was more my fault. Your son and I are close friends and I guess when I revealed I had...kissed another man; the nephew I spoke of...He reacted poorly.

Endeavor scratched his chin, "I see...Who was this...nephew?"

"Izuku Midoriya." Shoto answered curtly.

"Oh! The boy you bested in the Sports Festival and had brought for the internships last year. I did not expect this." Endeavor said, softly and tiredly, "I apologize, Shoto. I was wondering why the rumors of Miruko assaulting you."

"To be fair, it's not as bad as finding out Midoriya is the son of Hisashi Akatani...Father." Shoto explained, stifling a smirk as Endeavor froze and paled. His flames almost snuffing out.

"I-I see. I will be...on my way, son. Please...Don't tell your mother I was here." Endeavor stuttered as he trudged out of the dorm rooms.

"That was funny to see, Todoroki." Momo giggled as the door slammed shut, "Shall we resume our work to make the freezer boxes for the party?"

"Yes." The Half Hot/Half Cold boy replied.

###### 

**Part 2: Finding Costumes for the Unicorn**

Izuku, Ochako and Eri were looking for costumes at the nearby costume shop.

Izuku had found a good costume for himself while Ochako found her own instantly.

Eri, however, was the hardest to find. She knew Aizawa said she'd be a Kitty Princess, but she kind of didn't want to be one.

"What's wrong, Eri?" Ochako asked, kneeling down, "None of these dresses look right for ya?"

"I...I don't wanna..." Eri whimpered, scared of disappointing her 'parents'.

"Don't wanna be what? A Princess?" Ochako asked, gently patting her daughter's head. Eri nodded, bracing for disappointment, "Awww...That's okay! Whaddya wanna be, sweetie?"

Eri's head looked up at her smiling Mama, who pulled her into a hug. She was so worried Ochako would be upset with her, she didn't expect to be accepted so instantly.

"I...I wanna be Papa for the Party..." Eri whispered.

"You wanna be Deku for the Party? Aww! Our little baby wants to be like her Hero!" Ochako cooed as she picked her up and looked for costume options based around her boyfriend.

They found costumes for Deku _and_ costumes for Aizawa and Lemillion. Eyes bright with wonder, Eri was given all three costumes to try on.

Trying on the 'Eraserhead' costume, Eri popped out in the same black clothes and gray scarf with matching goggles. She looked proud of herself. Except...

"Well..." A dry voice grunted, causing Ochako and Eri to see Shinsou in the same gear, looking irritated.

"One of us is going to have to change." He grunted. Eri puffed her cheeks in annoyance and stomped back into the changing room.

"Didja have to pick Aizawa, Shinsou?" Ochako whined.

"I called dibs yesterday!" Shinsou barked back as he took the costume to the front. Izuku found Ochako waiting.

"What's going on, babe?" He asked, curiously.

Just then, Eri emerged in the Lemillion costume and shouted "POWAAAAHH!!"

Both parents took out their cells and started spamming pictures. Both had tears in their eyes.

"I'm sending this to Togata-Senpai. I wonder if he'd like to be part of the festivities?" Izuku whimpered with a smile.

Eri blushed and rushed back into her changing room.

"What costume did you get, Deku?...If it's All Might, I might let Bakugo hurt you as he said." Ochako said, smirking.

"Unfortunately, I will have to take the pummeling. This store didn't have any Captain America or Spider-Man costumes I could use." Izuku whined. Ochako laughed.

"Well, it'll be funny ta see the All Might fan boy dressed like All Might, I guess." Ochako laughed as Izuku pulled her over and kissed her cheek, causing her to squeak.

"I love you, you know." Izuku whispered.

"I know."

"Everything will be okay!" A voice from the change room began, "Do you know why?"

Both of the students looked confused at the drape before Eri hopped out in a perfect 'Deku' costume! She was posing victoriously and smiling brightly.

"Because...I. Am. HERE!" She cheered. Both of them were flabberghasted.

"I found my costume for the party, Mama! Papa! Is this okay?" Eri asked, hopeful. Midoriya nodded, kneeling down and pulling his daughter into a gentle hug.

He loved his little Hero.

###### 

**Part 3: Mama Midoriya Gives Endeavor a Chance to Fix things**

Endeavor was standing in front of the Midoriya residence for a few minutes. Ever since meeting the young green haired boy, he had studied on him.

He knew Midoriya had a Quirk that broke his bones but has since learned new ways to manifest the power. His 'Full Cowling' and now, 'Black Whip' and 'Float'.

He wasn't dumb. Just because he wanted to beat All Might in their rivalry, he didn't take anything to chance.

Then his son name dropped _Hisashi Akatani_. The man who, despite being the biggest nerd from their High School days, had Rei's heart before him.

Rei...In hindsight, he should have been better. Better man, better husband...Better father.

But, Hisashi...He was never even _around_ and yet, he was still considered a BETTER parent. Better husband.

HOW?

A hesitant knock on the door and who should answer, but, Inko Midoriya. The All Might fan's mother.

"Oh? Um...Hello, Mr. Endeavor. How may I help you today?" Inko asked, nervously.

"I wish to speak to you on...personal matters, Mrs. Midoriya. May I come in?" Endeavor asked, politely.

"Oh? Uh-Sure, sure! Come in, come in!" Inko asked, sweating a bit; likely from Endeavor's Quirk.

Entering the house, Endeavor took note of the rustic, but gentle feeling of the household. _This_ was the home that the boy grew up in. Not some lavish mansion, but, a humble home.

"S-So, Mr. Endeavor--!" Inko began.

"Please...You may called me, Mr. Todoroki. I'm off the clock." Endeavor interrupted politely.

"Oh! Um, Mr...Todoroki, what brings you to my home?" Inko asked.

"I wanted to understand a few things. If that was alright?" He asked, sitting his massive self on the family room couch. He took the whole thing up.

"Oh, okay. What would you like to know?"

Endeavor began to ask Inko what Hisashi was like. As a Fire Quirk user, he notes that they usually have tempers and are rather aggressive. He never understood how quiet and calm Hisashi was and how he was seemingly so...popular despite it all.

"I don't know why Hisashi was the way he was. But, he was sweet and kind. Probably helped make my Izuku how he is today." Inko said, smiling.

"But...Hisashi is never around. Doesn't that ever...bother you?" Endeavor asked, genuinely concerned.

"Oh, I know how it looks. But, Hisashi does care about us. He works abroad to help provide for us. I sometimes worry if he'll ever come home, but, he calls often and sends his love all of the time." Inko replied, cupping her cheek with a soft smile.

Endeavor lifted a brow in confusion. How can this small, plump, loving woman be so enamored with a husband who's never around? Does she not miss the more 'intimate' times with her husband? Does she not fear he may be disloyal?

"But, if he's gone so long...what's stopping him from...You know..." Endeavor began, nervously trying to figure out his words.

"Having extramarital behavior? I never worry. My Hisashi isn't some two-bit husband. I know better. And so does he." Inko said, proudly.

"How?! He's not even here! How would you know?!?" Endeavor boomed, in confusion and frustration.

"Because I trust him. And I know he trusts me." Inko said, calmly, "Surely you can try that with Rei, right? Enji?"

"You remember me, huh?" Enji asked, solemnly.

"When you mentioned yourself as Todoroki, it wasn't that hard to remember Rei being courted by you." Inko said, sternly, "I've been meaning to get into contact with her along with Mitsuki. But...It was hard to find her. I usually called and only got your daughter, _Fuyumi_. She would never tell me where Rei was. Maybe I should ask **you** now?"

"I've been...a foolish man, Mrs. Midoriya...Inko. I...Let my passion and obsession tear my family apart. I doubt I will ever redeem myself or make things right. When my son, Shoto mentioned Hisashi...I had to seek you out." Enji replied, hanging his head and rubbing his neck.

"Obsession? With what?" Inko asked, concerned.

"My obsession to outmatch All Might. Ever since he came to the scene, I saw a wall I had to surpass. But, I knew I would be beyond my prime by the time All Might retired. So..." Enji explained, "I looked into Quirk Marriages..."

Inko gasped and gave an accusing look.

"You married Rei out of some sick obsession instead of love?! What's wrong with you?" Inko hissed.

"Believe me...In hindsight, I should have been better. Been a decent human being." Enji explained, "It took seeing my son show a kinder resolve during his Remedial License Exam with that Bakugo boy, and the two kids from Shiketsu. My ways were...totally incorrect."

"I see..." Inko whispered, keeping her guilt-causing glare on him.

"I tried to soften my behavior...it seemed to work...on some. But, my children...Natsuo...Shoto...I can even hazard Fuyumi in her heart...Still haven't forgiven me for what I did to Rei."

Inko was inwardly seething. Enji had been abusing Rei?! This man who obsessed to be the Number One Hero...was that way to her oldest and dearest friend?!

"...I'd like it if we took a breather...This is beginning to feel rather personal and I'd rather not hear about Rei's condition until I've calmed down."

"It is alright, Inko. She has been doing much, **much** better. She has been moved to a better house. With her children." Enji explained.

" _Her_ children? Not yours?" Inko asked, angrily.

Enji sighed, "I feel that despite my efforts to make amends...I am unworthy to call myself their father. Publicly, I will act as that...but, in private..."

A deep calming breath came from the behemoth of a man.

"They would be much better...much happier if I was...out of their lives." Enji explained, "I've been having this dream lately. I've been seeing the same dream every night. A dream of my family happy...without me."

Inko's anger subsided. He made mistakes, but, Enji was making steps to fix them.

"Enji...While I cannot agree with the reasons for marrying Rei...I can see you are _trying_ to make up for them." Inko said, calmly, "But, these will take time. What you've done...Even to me, that is most unforgivable. I've seen what your youngest son was like before my son helped open him up. I met Shoto. A bit...odd, but, he has a good heart."

Enji chuckled, "He was the best of the kids. And I don't mean that about his Quirk. He has his mother's heart...which tempers my inherited fury. I just wish I learned that I was so stupid long ago. For now, things will be as they are. I will...make attempts soon to try and...make things right."

"Hisashi would be impressed with your changes. Honestly, he has an Endeavor keychain on his keys as he believes you can be as fierce as All Might given the right motivations." Inko explained.

Enji looked up in genuine surprise. Inko knew; Enji used to bully Hisashi just as badly as Bakugo did Izuku. But, Enji had smartened up. She guessed nearly dying would change his outlook.

Soon, Enji had to leave for his work hours. Being the new Number One made him busy.

"Oh!" Enji perked, turning to the diminutive woman, "Here. This is the new house number to the Todoroki house where Rei, Fuyumi, Natsuo and Shoto will be living at. I'm sure...She would love to hear your voice again, Inko."

Inko took the number with a gentle nod. He waved and left calmly.

As he walked out of the apartment complex, Enji's body felt...lighter. Maybe he was fixing himself bit by bit.

Time will tell if he succeeds or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Winter Internships of Canon technically happened. But, the War Arc never did in this universe.


	18. Post Party Entertainment! Let's see who everyone was!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party was really fast but everyone's still buzzing about it. Plus some fun from Deku. And here comes a NEW CHALLENGER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write parties so, post party humor.

**Tenya Iida has opened the Class 1-A Chat**

**Tenya has invited 26 people to chat**

Tenya: Hello, everyone! I would just like to say that the costume party was a rousing success!

Ochako: Yeah! That was the best party ever!

Aoyama: Mais oui! It was truly twinkling!

Eri: Everyone had such nice costumes...What was everyone anyway?

Izuku: Well, I was All Might in his Silver Age costume...Thanks for not beating me up, Kacchan.

Bakugo: Bitch, I was sorely tempted. But, when Eri told me ya couldn't get the costume ya wanted...I decided to be easy on you. Don't expect it during the next training class.

Izuku: Wouldn't dream of it. By the way, what was up with your costume? You said you were gonna be a Barbarian.

Bakugo: Camie colored me green and called me an Orc Warrior. Apparently, she plays some game called WoW?

Izuku: OH! Melissa plays that. She had me and Ochako try it too. And Eri too!

Bakugo: The fuck's it about?

Izuku: It's one of those American MMORPG games. Fantasy stuff. Magic, Elves, Orcs. I played a Human Monk.

Ochako: He named it MonkMight.

Bakugo: OFC! Not the most original mother fucker around.

Izuku: Says King Explosion Murder. That's not even a Hero Name, Kacchan!

Bakugo: Whatever, keep goin', Round Face.

Ochako: I played a Draenei Mage. She knows Arcane Magic and makes things go flash and bang!

Kaminari: A...What?

Ochako: Mage is like a Wizard or Witch. A Draenei is a race. Think like a person with horns, tail and goats feet. But, they're blue/purple skins and are nice.

Jirou: Except for the personality and skin tones, I thought you were describing demons.

Ochako: Ironically enough, that's noted in-game.

Jirou: O.O...HA!

Momo: What did Eri play as.

Eri: I was a...Gnome Priest? Tiny people that like to make machines and Priests heal people.

Mei: BUILD MACHINES?! SHOW ME!

Eri: MAMA!

Ochako: Mei, _I_ will show you what 'machines' are in the game. Leave Eri alone.

Mei: I wasn't gonna hurt the little unicorn. I'm a spaz, but, I'm not a bitch.

Izuku: Remind me, who tortured that Gender Swapping student?

Mei: Remind me who threatened to rip his spine out for working with Mineta?

Izuku: Touche.

Ochako: Deku?

Bakugo: Remind me to keep him off the Mortal Kombat games.

Melissa: Appreciated.

Mei: Wait, so Muscles is a Human Monk (Whatever that is), Cheeks is an Alien Wizard thingy...Eri's a tiny, cute Healer. What was Melissa?

Melissa: Oh! I was a Lightforged Draenei Paladin.

Izuku: Don't even ask what half that even means. I'm trying to read up on Lore and details.

Mei: K. So...Oh! Melissa, you sent me stuff on...Mechagnomes and Engineering Professions?

Melissa: Thought you'd like to know that stuff.

Mei: Excuse me, I must research. Also, I was Winry Rockbell from FMA for the party, if Eri still wanted to know. Later future clients!

**Mei has left the chat**

Tenya: Should I be worried about that?

Melissa: It's a video game. If it keeps her from building things that go BOOM, should we?

Tenya: YES. Staying up all night to build Support Gear and equipment is one thing. Staying up all night playing VIDEO GAMES?

Melissa: Fair enough. I'll call Power Loader and Aizawa and have them set her up some ground rules for play time.

Tenya: Thank you. Also, I was a Knight in Shining Armor. Although, Mei wanted me to play Alphonse Elric. Never watched anime.

Bakugo: Big fucking surprise.

Eri: Mama was a...Was a...What were you again?

Ochako: I was Catwoman and Black Cat fused together.

Eri: Mama was really pretty.

Melissa: I'd have a different phrase for it, but, it'd be inappropriate to say in front of Eri.

Eri: Was it 'sexy'? The purple haired boy that I don't like said that a lot.

Melissa: Where's that damned collar remote?!

Chat (Except Eri): What?

Melissa: To keep Mineta in line, the school allowed me to give a shock collar to the little perv. It was to give him mild static shocks whenever he misbehaved or made lewd comments.

Momo: I have the remote~.

Shoto: She has been using it on him constantly. I'm both impressed and...concerned.

Momo: Just let me have one night where I vent my aggression out on him. All I wanted.

Shoto: I'm not denying it. Just...take it easy.

Momo: Okay.

Shoto: By the way, your costume was quite lovely. What were you?

Momo: OH! I modified that dress Midoriya's father sent into a version of Princess Jasmine's costume from Aladdin.

Shoto: The red costume?

Momo: Correct.

Shoto: It suits you.

Momo: <3.

Jirou: Good god, get a room, you two.

Shoto: Um...

Jirou: Oh shit. Are you in a room together?

Momo: ...Maybe.

Jirou: Are you decent?

Shoto:

Momo:

Jirou: Are you least wearing PANTS?!

Shoto: Can we not continue this while Eri is here?

Jirou: Fine. But, what were you?!

Shoto: I was dressed by my sister to be Prince Charming from Snow White.

Jirou: Why did your sister dress you?

Shoto: Because the costume I wanted got wrecked by my brother. It was a color inverted version of my father's costume. I was going for an Anti-Endeavor gag. But, Natsuo got triggered.

Jirou: And I thought Green's family was messed up.

Izuku: HEY! It's not messed up!

Jirou: You have former Yakuza turned International Government sponsored Heroes for Uncles. Miruko for an Aunt. An account WORKING FOR SHIELD for a Dad. And a loving cinnamon roll MOM. It's all over the place.

Izuku: Okay, fair enough. Anyone else?

Jirou: I ended up dressing up as Sam Manson from Danny Phantom. My make up kit for the KISS costumes we had went missing.

Kaminari: Yeah. On the plus side, I wasn't so bad as Danny Phantom. We called the costume Thunder Phantom since the guy had Weather powers in Season 3.

Eri: It looked neat, Uncle Dopey!

Kaminari: Am I ever gonna get renamed something nice?

Jirou/Eri: Nope: :D

Kaminari: Midoriya, your daughter's bullying me! D:

Izuku: Then perish.

Ochako: HA!

Melissa: Savagery.

Kaminari: Oh yeah? What were you, Melissa?

Melissa: I was Jaina Proudmoore Pre-Theramore destroyed.

Shoto: So _THAT_ was what Jaina looked like. Elegant designs.

Melissa: Here's her now: **[Shows BFA Jaina image]**.

Shoto: I like the costume you wore better. She looks...rather like my Mother with my father's temper.

Melissa: I dunno much about your Mom or Dad so I'll take your word for it.

Momo: How is your Mother, Sho?

Shoto: Apparently, she's been getting phone calls at the new house. She's really perked up since.

Izuku: That's odd. Mom's been making tons of calls lately...Wait a minute. You don't think?

Shoto: Bakugo DID show that picture of the thre as teens. Maybe they finally reached out?

Bakugo: Oh great...I bet my Old Hag is getting calls from her too.

Shoji: I dressed up as a Tentacruel. Lots of work went into it.

Izuku: You were really accurate with that costume, Shoji. How'd you get it to look blue?

Shoji: Tarps and some finger paints.

Eri: I HELPED!

Shoji: And I appreciated every bit of it, kiddo.

Eri: :).

Tokoyami: Smile's so bright, I must wear shades!

Tsuyu: You dork.

Eri: Haha.

Tokoyami: I was...Avdol from Jojo. Dark Shadow would not stop doing that 'Tsk, tsk, Yes I Am' quote until I agreed.

Tsuyu: You looked really nice though.

Tokoyami: Many thanks, O hopping heart of my heart.

Tsuyu: ///. I was Princess Tiana from Princess and the Frog.

Satou: I was Kinnikuman! I looked good with that mask on.

Aoyama: I was my sparkling self!

Kaminari: No surprises there.

Shinsou: I was Aizawa.

**Aizawa entered the chat**

Aizawa: A poor imitation of me.

Shinsou: You're just mad cuz I wore it better.

Aizawa: Hmph.

**Ms. Joke entered the chat**

Ms. Joke: I thought it was funny.

Izuku: What were you two at the party?

Aizawa: I didn't dress up. I was chaperoning. Joke dressed up in a Bride's outfit saying it was our wedding day.

Mina: You two are so perfect for each other!

Aizawa: What's that? I think there's a surprise exam coming up. You're the target for it.

Mina: Worth it. I was a Sexy Xenomorph.

Izuku: O_O. How do you make a 'SEXY' Xenomorph?! Those things gave Eri nightmares for weeks when you were marathon running the franchise to make your costume. And you did that 4 days ago!

Aizawa: Okay, screw that. It's Everyone VS Ashido. Eri wet her bed twice since.

Eri: PAPAZAWA! Don't tell people!

Mina: I made it sexy by removing the ugly ribcage and accommodated my chest. I put a black mask on and--! Oh, c'mon! That wasn't my fault! Why wasn't someone watching her when I was doing that?! I even warned everyone that I was watching the Aliens and Predator movies to do that!

Izuku: Why didn't you stick with YOKO from Gurren Lagann!

Mina: Cuz _somebody_ stole my top for the costume...MINETA!

**Mineta entered the chat**

Mineta: You have no proof. I'm not even in the dorms anymore! By the way, I was a Butler.

Mineta left the chat

Kirishima: So...the Butler did it? Always wanted to say that. I dressed up like the Predator so Mina couldn't be alone.

Aizawa: Everyone VS Kirishima and Ashido. Your movies scared a child you were supposed to be being good examples for.

Kirishima: Oh c'mon! It was Bakugo's turn to watch her at the time!

Bakugo: Hey, don't drag me into this! I was watching her! I kept her clean, made sure she was entertained. I was on my absolute best behavior!

Izuku: Can confirm. He was genuinely good to her.

Momo: Not to change the subject but...I saw All Might dressed up as Midoriya for the party like Eri was. Your thoughts, Midoriya?

Izuku: I cried. That's my response.

**Miruko and Inko entered the chat**

Miruko: Yeah. It was adorable.

Izuku: Says my Aunt who dressed up like Fran from Final Fantasy 12.

Miruko: LIKE? I _was_ Fran, kiddo.

Inko: You were rather...underdressed for the party, Rumi.

Miruko: And you dressed up weird. What was that getup? Why did All Might hug you and cry when you showed up?

Izuku: I think...I know why.

**All Might entered the chat**

All Might: I AM SORRY! I JUST HAD FLASHBACKS!

Ochako: For what?!

Izuku: That costume...Was that the outfit of your Master?

All Might: Yes. It...brought back some memories for me, Young Midoriya. I do apologize.

Inko: I forgive you. I didn't know that costume had such...harsh memories for you.

All Might: She was an inspirational woman. I will never forgive All For One for what he did to her and her legacy.

Izuku: It's okay. Also...There was another person dressed as Deku...Two more people actually. Who were they?

**Kota has entered the chat**

Kota: That was me!

Izuku: ///.

Ochako: And he's crying again...Gonna be all day with this.

Izuku: I'm sorry! I'm trying to get better at that.

Melissa: Who was the buff guy dressed as Deku? I didn't recognize him.

**Mirio has entered the chat**

Mirio: POWAH!!!!

Izuku: O-O...SENPAI?!

Mirio: I thought it was Deku celebration party so I grabbed a costume.

Eri: Haha! Papa has many people dressing up as him! Cuz he awesome!

Kota: Dang straight!

Eri: ;) <3.

Kota: /// O.O

Mirio: (thumbs up).

Bakugo: I'd rather dress up as Handy Mcfuckboi who kidnapped me.

Izuku: Fair.

Ojiro: I was Goku. It fit me.

Tooru: I was a Ghost! Spooooky! lol.

**??? has entered the chat**

???: You have quite the charmed life, son.

Chat (except Eri): WHO THE HECK?!

**??? has change their name to Hisashi**

Hisashi: Hi, son! And hello to you too, sweetiepie~!

Inko: HISASHI?! HONEYBEAR?!

Chat (Except Inko and Izuku): WHO THE HECK?!

Izuku: DAD?!

Everyone but Inko and Izuku: **DEKU'S DAD?!?!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh snappy snaps!


	19. Like Son, VERY much like Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When we last left off, Hisashi Midoriya drops into our Chat.
> 
> Let's see what unfolds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to make Hisashi a hilariously silly Dad.
> 
> Seriously...I am tired of Hisashi being treated like an Abusive Parent or an Alias for AFO.

Chat (Except Hisashi, Inko and Izuku): DEKU'S FATHER?!

Hisashi: That's my claim to fame, don't wear it out! :D

Inko: HONEYBEAR, I MISSED YOU!

Hisashi: I miss you too, Schmoopsipoo!

Izuku: Oh lord...

Chat: O_O.

Shoto: This is Midoriya's father? The man MY father fears?

Bakugo: You make it sound like Deku's old man was the boogie man. He's a dork, like him!

Kirishima: Seriously?

Hisashi: Kacchan, are you bullying my boy?... _Again_?

Bakugo: NO! I AM NOT, SIR!

Hisashi: Good boy.

Ochako: I am both impressed and concerned.

Hisashi: Oh! You must be Uraraka.

Ochako: Eep!

Hisashi: Pleasure to meet you, young lady. I'm glad my son has found himself a very lovely lady to spend his time with.

Ochako: Well...I'm not the only woman in Deku's life.

Hisashi: Oh, I know. The Midoriya-Akatani genes serve him well.

Melissa: What does THAT mean?

Hisashi: I assume you have both been...ahem...in bed with my son?

Ochako/Melissa: ///.

Hisashi: Akatani genes endow him with his physical traits. _Midoriya_ genes...give him some WICKED stamina. Took...how many rounds did we do before you actually tire out from satisfaction, Inko?

Inko: Record holds at 20 rounds, sweetums.

Ochako/Melissa: We each have 5 rounds. And he's never tired after that!

Hisashi: Oh, you two will be in good hands.

Ochako: :O.

Melissa: O-o.

Izuku: Oh god dang it, Dad!

Hisashi: Better to warn 'em now, than to have them deal with it later. That's entrapment son.

Kaminari: HA!

Hisashi: Denki Kaminari.

Kaminari: !

Hisashi: Quirk: Electrification. Channels electricity throughout body. Overuse can leave brain fried. Blood Type: O. Zodiac Sign is Cancer. Also has undeniable tastes in heavy metal music and punk rock. Current affiliation is UA High and Kyoka Jirou.

Jirou: What?!

Hisashi: I work as an Account at SHIELD. But that doesn't mean I don't get time to work as an information gatherer. Where do you think my son gets his natural information gathering skills? Speaking of which, I'm disappointed that you all took a blind eye to letting Kacchan destroy his notebooks.

Izuku: Dad, it's fine!

Hisashi: It's still destruction of private property son. Also, did you get that package I sent a while back. I'm still confused as to why you needed so many dresses.

Izuku: I don't know why Ochako slipped that request in but, you added the remaining dresses.

Hisashi: True. But, I assumed the Akatani Sex Appeal quotient of the genes were a part of the issue, so I sent more in case...you had other partners.

Inko: Wait? What are we talking about?

Hisashi/Izuku: FATHER SON TALK!

Inko: Hisashi...We'll be having a private chat later.

Hisashi: ...Is it inappropriate to find that threat very alluring coming from you, sugar cube?

Inko: Hope not.

Izuku: If it's one thing, it's the other.

Momo: Your parents love life is rather...um...spirited?

Hisashi: Thank you for the compliment, Ms. Yaoyorozu.

Momo: Oh! You're...welcome?

Hisashi: I love your family's international self-care products. Very helpful for a Fire Breather like myself.

Momo: Oh! Thank you for partaking in our products.

Hisashi: I do have a complaint however.

Momo: Excuse you?

Hisashi: The proportions for the products. Seem rather...minuscule compared to the competing brands. Don't get me wrong, I'll take yours over the others anyday, but, I have to buy double the amount for hair care and skin care products. Only complaint. Otherwise, perfect!

Momo: I need to think about this.

Izuku: If my friends start antagonizing me because you, Dad...

Hisashi: I'm sorry!

Mina: I should have brought popcorn!

Hisashi: Ahhh, Ms. Ashido.

Mina: Whatever I did, I didn't do it!

Hisashi: No, no! I just heard about your Hero Work. Quite excellently handled. Also, the 'Acidman' Technique. You say it's originally based on 'Unbreakable'. I've met a few American Heroes with similar movesets.

Mina: Really?!

Hisashi: Indeed. If you wish, I can send some accessible files to you to inspire your repertoire.

Mina: Oh, sweet! Thanks!

Hisashi: You're welcome, dear. Thanks for looking after my son, too!

Mina: Aww, thanks! He's a great guy! He's still a great friend...even after we split.

Hisashi: I was informed by my schnookums. No problem.

Tsuyu: Huh. You're nothing like we expected.

Hisashi: I may be a nerd, a researcher of Quirks and a general nerd as Kacchan would say...But, I am an employee of SHIELD. I have put people in the ground for trampling on civil rights and attempting to blow up the city.

Tokoyami: How...often?

Hisashi: Well, HYDRA once infiltrated SHIELD. Let's just say...I knew my friends from my enemies surprisingly easily.

Izuku: HYDRA attacked SHIELD?! Dad how did you?

Hisashi: There's a reason why I'm relied on for the company barbecues. I regret the smell on the fourteenth floor after that incident.

Izuku: Oh God...

Inko: MY BABY! PLEASE VISIT SOON! I WANNA COMFORT MY BIG HONEYBEAR!

Hisashi: Don't worry, sweetie pie! I'm actually tendering some vacation days. So, I can spend time with my beautiful, angelic valkyrie babe!

Inko: Hisashi. I'm not longer what I once was. I was younger, taller...thinner.

Hisashi: Oh, shush, you! I'd still rock the casbah with you! I've seen your pictures. Still the sexiest valkyrie I've ever met!

Inko: Oh ho, you~! You really know how to moisten me up!

**Mineta has entered the chat**

Mineta: ARGH! I CAN NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN!

Hisashi: I've read about you...You've actually had sex? Laughable if a woman deemed you attractive. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY SEE WHAT I'VE GOT PLANNED FOR YOU AFTER EVERYTHING YOU DID!

Mineta: WHA?!

Izuku: Holy crap, Dad!

Hisashi: I'm your father, Izuku. And not only that. I'm a trained SHIELD operative (despite my role in the organization), I have a FIRE BREATHING Quirk and really do not appreciate ANYONE mocking my wife and son. My organization hacked Mineta's chat histories and logs between various members of his...crew. His words about my Inko will not be forgiven.

Izuku: What did he say about Mom?!

Hisashi: The phrase 'obese harlot' and other obscenities...shall be weighed against him...Viscerally.

Izuku: Momo, I want that remote.

Momo: Understood, Commander Midoriya.

Izuku: I'm not a Commander!

Hisashi: I actually hold equivalent rank to a Sergeant.

Izuku: So much about my Dad I'm learning today.

Ochako: We were not prepared.

Melissa: I understood that reference.

**Mineta has left the chat**

Satou: I just saw Mineta pissing himself and rushing to his room. Why--! Oh...Hot damn, Midoriya, you're Dad's scary!

Eri: Grandpa Midoriya is scary.

Hisashi: Oh! This must be Eri, yes?

Eri: O.O

Hisashi: I'm sorry if I scared you, little star. My Quirk does give me a bit of...a temper.

Shoto: From a fellow fire Quirk user to another, that's mildly understated.

Hisashi: Still, little one. I promise, when we meet, you'll see a jolly old man. Think Papa but older. White hair, green eyes and some stubble.

Eri: Really?

Hisashi: Darn tootin'. Plus, I know a few Apple recipes.

Eri: *In awe*.

Hisashi: Now...Shoto...Todoroki, is it?

Shoto: Uh oh.

Hisashi: How's your old man doing?

Shoto: I mentioned you to him. He almost froze.

Hisashi: Weird. He used to bully me in school. Not sure how I scare him.

Shoto: Not sure either.

Inko: Maybe it was because like our boy, almost every girl in our year was a Protection Squad member. Rei, Mitsuki, Shino...

Kota: Shino...Sosaki?

Inko: Yes! And her friends...Ryuko...

Tsuyu/Ochako: RYUKYU?!

Inko: The dragon woman? I believe so. But, there's Ryuko from the cats and Tomoko and Yawara.

Hisashi: Didn't he finally go through his Gender change recently?

Inko: Yes, he's very happy with the change, last I heard.

Hisashi: Good on him. I remember he was bullied when he was assigned female at birth. It bothered him so very much!

Miruko: HOW MANY GIRLS DID YOU HAVE?!

Hisashi: Oh! Cousin Rumi. Pleasure to meet you! I've heard many things about you.

Miruko: Oh, I hope they're good.

Hisashi: Quite! I also saw footage of you training Izuku in more kick based martial arts. Nice idea!

Miruko: Thanks! Maybe we can spar sometime.

Hisashi: As tough as you are...You'd last less than a microsecond.

Miruko: Challenge ACCEPTED! Get ready Hisashi! You're a dead dad walking!

Izuku: My life now is insane...WHERE ARE THE VILLAINS?!

**Mineta returned to the chat**

Mineta: What am I? Chopped liver?!

Izuku: After my Dad's done with you...you're charcoal.

Hisashi: Grape fruits roasting...On an open fire~!

Ochako: Hisashi burning perverts from head to their toes~!

Hisashi: This girl gets it! Get a ring on her, sonny!

Izuku: I'm getting rings for her and Melissa! I just need to save more money.

Hisashi: When I come by, I'll help you purchase. I got an eye for jewelry.

Aoyama: Incroyable! What else can you do?

Hisashi: Eh bien, je suis un expert de premier plan en linguistique.

Aoyama: Magnifique!

Izuku: My Dad, ladies and gentlemen!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> Eh bien, je suis un expert de premier plan en linguistique = Well, I happen to be a foremost expert in linguistics.


	20. Enter the Dragons! More Family Midoriya Relations! And Endeavor pulls a Homer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More surprise guests appear!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while! Minor time skip forward: Hisashi is now at UA.

**Izuku Midoriya has opened the Class 1-A Chat:**

**Izuku Midoriya has invited all members of his contacts:**

Izuku: My Dad, ladies and gentlemen!

Ochako: He sure is...Interesting!

Melissa: I think you mean 'eccentric'. Or plain nuts!

Izuku: I would be offended if it weren't an accurate statement.

Hisashi: Ahhh, c'mon! I'm not _that_ bad!

Inko: Yes! My husband is the pinnacle of a good husband.

Aizawa: I wouldn't say seeing Hisashi grab you, pirouette you, DIP you and give you the mother of all make out moments in broad daylight...within spitting distance of your son a 'pinnacle' Dad moment.

Izuku: No, that's par for the course, honestly.

All Might: At least your father isn't All For One.

Hisashi: Gah! Imagine HIM with Inko. I'm gonna have nightmares for months! Thanks Yagi.

All Might: Sorry, Elder Midoriya.

Hisashi: O.O. I'm not _that_ old.

Bakugo: Hey, I'm noticing two more users in here that aren't our class, Eri, Kota, the teachers or your old lady or man. Who are these?

Hanzo: With every day, comes redemption.

Izuku: Uncle Han! It's good to hear from you!

Hanzo: Ahhh, little wyrm. It is fortuitous to hear from you, my nephew!

Mina: Hey! No one calls Midori a worm, pal!

Hanzo: I said, 'Wyrm'. Not 'worm'. Learn the difference, little moth.

Kirishima: HEY! My babe's no Moth! She's a FUCKING ALIEN QUEEN!

Hanzo: Ah...the red one with the hard skin. I have heard about you from Toyomitsu. As loud as you are 'manly'. Whatever that means.

Kirishima: Toyomitsu?...Fat Gum?! How do you know Fat Gum?

Hanzo: Met him at a bakery once.

Kirishima: That's strangely fitting...and anticlimactic.

Genji: You have no idea, red one.

Izuku: UNCLE GEN!

Genji: Hello, little robin. I have been meaning to see how you have been, nephew.

Jirou: Okay, who are you two?!

Hanzo: Hanzo Shimada. I work part-time at Overwatch.

Genji: Genji Shimada. I work full-time at Overwatch.

Everyone but Izuku/Inko/Hisashi: HANZO AND GENJI SHIMADA?! THE YAKUZA?!

Hanzo: The Shimada disbanded as criminal Yakuza.

Genji: If they know what's good for them, they'll stay out of that old business.

Hisashi: Hey, Han! Sup, Gen! Haven't heard from ya in years!

Hanzo: Hisashi! Cousin! It is an honor to see you back in Japan, once more! We will have to have a sake contest like old times.

Genji: Please no! I still remember how Cousin Sashi managed to drink you under the table! You tried to shoot him with a crossbow in revenge.

Hisashi: He still has sucky aim.

Hanzo: I WILL SHOW YOU WHO HAS 'SUCKY' AIM, MORNING BREATH!

Hisashi: ...Western Movie Otaku.

Hanzo: I TOLD YOU IN CONFIDENCE ABOUT THAT!

Genji: Western movie--? Is that why you hang around McCree so much? Because he's a damn cowboy? I hang out with him because he's good for sparring.

Izuku: Gen? Aren't you dating that Ziegler lady?

Genji: Little robin...keep a lid on it. She and I are...having some debates lately. Damn, Amara flygirl.

Hanzo: I keep telling you, their relationship is professional.

Genji: And I tell you! I found them in a broom closet, swapping SPIT!

Hanzo: Wasn't that Lena and Emily? During the Christmas get together...last year?

Genji: No! That was two years ago! Not last year! I caught Amara and Ziegler half-naked, drunk and doing very intimate things.

Bakugo: You know...Genji? Ya coulda joined 'em.

Genji: I believe in a monogamous relationship.

Hanzo: Given your hedonist behavior in your youth...that is seriously surprising by comparison.

Kaminari: How bad was GENJI SHIMADA at our age?

Hanzo: About as bad as you being not brain-dead after using your Quirk.

Genji: ...I would argue that...But, I was rather _stupid_ back then. **And it cost me a lot**.

Hanzo: ...Sorry.

Genji: I'm not talking about what you did.

Hanzo: Oh...OOOOH! You mean those tattoos you got before.

Genji: Yes...Honestly you nearly killing me was a partial blessing. But, not by much.

Satou: And here I thought the Shimadas were the most dreaded Yakuza around. Apparently, they're as dorky as Midoriya!

Izuku: They can still kill you 50 different ways at their absolute worst, Satou!

Genji:

Izuku: What?

Genji: You forgot the 2 in front of 50.

Shoji: What?!

Hanzo: Yes, at our absolute worst states, we can kill anyone here at least 250 different ways. Separately. With chopsticks.

Momo: Can you do that to Mineta? For demo purposes?

Mineta: HEY! I'M NOT A GUINEA PIG!

Tooru: No, you're a pervy freak.

Aoyama: So...you both work at Overwatch? Oui?

Hanzo: Wait? You speak French? Why?

Aoyama: I am Part-French.

Hanzo: Ah.

Genji: He means you're a cheese eating surrender monkey's kid.

Hanzo: GENJI!

Aoyama: Someone watches the Simpsons.

Genji: I like this one. He gets my humor.

Hanzo: Says the Power Ranger fan boy.

Genji: Watch it bro! Or I destroy your Brokeback Mountain poster!

Hanzo: ...Okay, how do you know I have that and WHY?!

Genji: Respect the Green Ranger!

Izuku: Which Green Ranger? Dragon? Turbo? Samurai? Ninja Storm?

Genji: Who else? Seriously, little robin, do you not remember that Halloween where I dressed up as the Green Ranger and you were the Red Ranger?

Izuku: Oh yeah! That was a fun time.

Genji: I have the pictures.

**[Genji uploads picture of 3 year old Izuku as Red Ranger and himself (Pre-Cyborg upgrade) as Green Ranger]**

Girls: SOOO CUTE!!!!

Boys: Damn! He's actually adorable!

Izuku: ...Your costume is really detailed for a store bought one.

Genji: Store bought? Get on my level, nerd.

Ochako: Don't. He's got a huge shrine to All Might for a bedroom. BOTH bedrooms.

Melissa: Yeah!

Genji: You STILL like that blowhard? Really?

All Might:

Genji: Oh. You him?

Hisashi: That's him alright. I got his autograph! Heee!

Inko: Like father, like son.

Hanzo: You married him, Inko. You have my sympathies.

Inko: I'll get the sake for you. Had those puppies fermenting for a while!

Hanzo: You, my lady, are a global treasure.

Aizawa: And here I thought Miruko being Problem Child's aunt was concerning.

Hanzo/Genji: Who?

Miruko: BITCH YOU DO NOT SAY YOU NEVER HEARD OF ME!

Hanzo: Oh...The rabbit. Meh, 6/10.

Miruko: You fucking bitch.

Genji: Don't mind my brother. He's into Cowboys over Amazonian women.

Miruko: Amazonian? What's that?

Hisashi: Wonder Woman.

Miruko: Ooooh...Thanks, pretty bot.

Genji: I'm not a BOT. I'm still human!

Todoroki: So...what did I miss? Who are Hanzo and Genji--! Oh. Late to the chat. Had to deal with father.

**Endeavor has entered the chat:**

Endeavor: We are not done training today, Shoto.

Hisashi: Oh, hey, Enji! Long time no see old buddy!

Endeavor:

Todoroki: Father?

Endeavor: Training ends now. I'm leaving.

**Endeavor has left the chat.**

Hisashi: Huh. I thought he'd wanna talk some more. Guess some things never change.

Todoroki: I'm enjoying this. Way more than I should allow. Also, Mrs. Midoriya?

Inko: Oh, yes, Todoroki?

Todoroki: Mother asked me if you wanted to meet up with her and Mrs. Bakugo for a 'spa day'? Whatever that is? She's paying?

**Endeavor re-entered the chat:**

Endeavor: WHAT?! REI IS DOING WHAT WITH WHO?!

Inko: A spa day with me and Mitsuki.

Endeavor: Oh. Apologies.

Inko: No issues, Enji.

Hisashi: Yeah! No problem Enji! Wassup!

Endeavor:

Hisashi: What?

Endeavor: Inko, remind me. Why did you marry this one again?

Hisashi: HEY!

Izuku: O.o.

Todoroki: Father!

Inko: He makes me smile. He treats me well. Not going to even START on the sex. He's sweet. His poetry is adorable! And when he crinkles his nose when he chuckles is pure!

Hisashi: I love you too, my cutey patooty!

Inko: Same to you schmoopsiebear!

Endeavor: How you picked Akatani will forever boggle my mind.

Izuku: Jeez, how many guys had a thing for my MOM?!

Endeavor: I was never attracted to your mother. I just never understood how Hisashi and her got together. It just seemed so...pedestrian.

Inko: Not every relationship revolves around QUIRK marriages, Enji.

Endeavor: By the way, Inko. I had sent an idea about Rei to you. What were your thoughts?

Inko: I sent a reply. But, TL:DR, not a very smart idea. But, I can see the merit of WHY.

Hisashi/Izuku: Should we be concerned?

Inko: Enji...Tell us all here.

Endeavor: I'm not airing my family issues here in a public chat.

Todoroki: You better. Even if you don't, we'll all find out anyway.

Endeavor: I plan to divorce Rei.

Everyone: WHAT THE HELL, ENDEAVOR?!?!

Endeavor: I assure you, I have a good reason.

All Might: Start saying it or I start smashing your balls, Quirk or no Quirk!

Todoroki: First you force mother to marry you, then force yourself on her to produce my siblings and me! Abuse ALL of us...AND NOW YOU WANT DIVORCE HER AFTER SHE GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL?! GIVE ME ONE REASON WHY I SHOULD FORGIVE YOU NOW...ENJI!

Endeavor: Because I plan to ask her out on a date.

Hisashi: The heck?

Eri: That's weird. You're weird.

Hanzo/Genji: The kid gets it.

Genji: Wait...Are you...Pulling a HOMER SIMPSON?!

**Todoroki changed his name to Shoto.**

Shoto: What?

Endeavor: I have been thinking over a discussion I had with Inko a while back. When I convinced her family to enter the Quirk Marriage for myself...it was for...selfish reasons. So I have been working to fix my mistakes.

Bakugo: How does divorcing your wife FIX shit?

Eri: Uncle Kaka's got a dirty mouth but he's right.

Endeavor: I plan to divorce her on the grounds that our marriage wasn't a healthy one. I never tried to get to know Rei all that well aside from her love of Amaryllis flowers. I...want to know the woman I had kids with better. Start over. Give the love and respect I failed to give in the past. If she'd have me again.

Hisashi: That is both...really dumb but...really sweet, man. I'm proud of you.

Endeavor: Thank you?

Inko: I still think it could make things worse. Rei could just say no.

Endeavor: At least, with this, she'd be free of the pain I brought her.

Izuku: Why not just ask her out on a date? She's your wife already. Why not just

Ochako: I think he wants to earn her affection and forgiveness in a traditional style, Deku.

Izuku: By imitating HOMER SIMPSON? The guy who's choked out his own son nearly every season?! I dunno who's a worse example.

Melissa: Peter Griffin. Mr. Turner. A LOT of sitcom Dads...I can go on.

Izuku: Fair enough. I'd hazard what Shoto's brother and sister will react.

Endeavor: I have told Fuyumi my intentions. Her opinion matches Mrs. Midoriya. Natsuo...he'll be hard enough regardless.

Shoto: I think the plan has merit.

Momo: Shoto?

Eri: Uncle Sho?

Shoto: I have a hard enough time forgiving father for being the reason I have my scars. But, he is trying to make amends. And he wants to give Mom a better chance to be happy.

Endeavor: Shoto...Thank you.

Shoto: Also, I wanna see Mom call you out on ALL of your stunts when she's finally not your wife.

Endeavor: Didn't know why I thought you wouldn't have that response.

Izuku: Yeah...I honestly saw that one coming.

Endeavor: Shut up, nerd.

Hisashi: HEY! Don't call my kid a nerd, candle stick!

Endeavor:

Hisashi: Oh...right...that was the shrinkage from the pool during swimming lessons.

Endeavor: FUCKING BASTARD!

Hisashi: Bitch, I can take you on!

Rei has entered the chat.

Inko/Rei: NEITHER OF YOU TWO WILL FIGHT!

Hisashi/Endeavor: Yes, dear.

Izuku/Shoto: Go Mom!

Ochako/Momo: Our boyfriends are Mama's boys alright.

Hanzo/Genji: Ha! Whipped.

Melissa: How many people are going to simultaneously say the same thing?!

All Might/Aizawa: Don't start...FUCKING HELL!

Eri: Bye bye people!

**Chat has gone to sleep!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An arc begins: ENDEAVOR REDEMPTION! Using the Simpsons? I'm not smart but, hey. He's trying.


	21. A 'Rei' of Sunshine! Todoroki Fun!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introducing Rei, Fuyumi and Natsuo Todoroki and some apparent HISTORY she had with Bakugo and Midoriya
> 
> (Think a Post-Halloween bit).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, long time no see here. Now, Rei's gonna get a booboo moment here.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gyDTVM6TyK4 - Bakugo and Deku go trick or treating. The lady gives Deku ONE piece of candy VS Bakugo's dozen.
> 
> Next shot shows Shoto and Endeavor. I headcanon the lady as Rei because Shoto doesn't have his scar. Rei is QUIRKIST CONFIRMED! I'M KIDDING!

Rei: Enji Todoroki you will not harass my friend's husband!

Endeavor: Yes, honey.

Inko: Hisashi, no antagonizing Endeavor. Even if he does deserve it.

Hisashi: Understood, schmoopsiepoo.

Izuku: Hmmm...

Ochako: Wow! Todoroki and Deku's Moms really rule the roosts!

Melissa: I feel like we're glimpsing our futures with Deku at this rate.

Izuku: Well I feel dread burning in my stomach. Thank you, Mom!

Shoto: Please yell at Father more, Mother.

Rei: Oh! Sho-Sho! I'm glad to see you're well, sweetheart.

Everyone (But, Rei/Enji/Shoto/Inko/Hisashi): SHO-SHO?!

Mina: Ooooh! My tea is filling up!

Shoto: Need I remind you I can destroy your stuff with EITHER side?

Mina: Awww phooie. Let a girl have SOME fun.

Momo: Can I use that as an endearing nickname?

Shoto: We'll see.

Rei: Oh! This must be Yaoyorozu Momo. How lovely to meet you. Little Shoto's been sending me letters talking about you.

Shoto: !! Mother! Please!

Rei: I won't embarrass you, son. I promise.

Momo: It's alright. How are things at the hospital?

Rei: Getting there. Moving into the new mansion has been a very easy process.

Endeavor: I hope it's to your liking, Rei.

Rei: It's lovely, Enji.

Genji: I have never seen the 'Flame Hero' so passive before.

Hanzo: Very curious. I believe that is the true definition of 'whipped'?

Genji: Yes.

Endeavor: Will the Power Ranger and the Wild Wild West closet case please be quiet?

Hanzo: Oh, choke on Hawks' chicken nuggets, old timer.

Izuku: UNCLE HAN!

Hanzo: Calm yourself, little dragon.

Genji: Hanzo tends to lash out when irritated. It's just him giving shit.

Kouda: I'm gonna lie down.

Shouji: Same.

Satou: I'm making brownies if anyone cares.

Tooru: I'm in!

Ojiro: I could use a snack after this insanity. No offense, Midoriya.

Izuku: No problem.

Rei: Izuku...Izuku...That's the boy you mentioned you fought and brought to Enji's Agency as a co-intern, yes, son?

Shoto: Indeed. My best friend.

Izuku: Thanks, Todoroki!

Shoto: Doesn't stop me from still believing you were All Might's secret

Ochako: Did someone snap him out of that theory.

Jirou: Word to ya mothers, people.

Izuku: Note to self, give Jirou a nice quiche.

Jirou: I'll take a karaoke night with the entire class.

Mina: Sounds AWESOME!

Rei: I feel as if I recognize Izuku from more than that.

Inko: He is my son.

Rei: Wait...Wasn't your son Quirkless, Inko?

Inko: Long story about that actually.

Bakugo: SUPER long.

Rei: Oh! Katsuki! I remember you from Mitsuki! Still aiming for Number One?

Bakugo: Hell yeah!

Rei: Hmmm...bit crasser than the usual. But, still the same boy I remember!

Izuku: Okay! Now my memory for you is back! We first met when Kacchan and I went trick or treating together once!

Rei: Oh? What were you?

Izuku: Kacchan was a Werewolf and I was a Ghost! You skimped me out on candy that time!

Inko: What? But, you had half a bucket full of candy!

Bakugo: I remember that year...I gave him some candy because no one was giving him any cuz he was Quirkless back then. Aunt Rei was the only one to give him ANY. Still just the one.

Shoto: So, YOU both were the ones I saw back then.

Rei: Uuuuhhh...I feel rather embarrassed now.

Endeavor: Why did you only give the boy ONE piece, Rei? That seems rather unlike you.

Rei: Well...I uh...

Inko: Rei...Why would you be so cruel?

Hisashi: Seriously, Rei-Rei?! You knew that was Izuku and you gave him one piece? What gives, girl?

Ochako: Todoroki-Mama? We would like words!

Melissa: Ochako, tone it back a bit.

Momo: No, no, Melissa. Let her off the chain. I feel a bit curious now.

Rei: Well...

**[Rei has left the chat]**

Inko: Don't even think about it, Rei!

**[Rei has been forced back into the chat]**

**[Fuyumi and Natsuo have entered the chat]**

Fuyumi: Who's bullying our mother?

Natsuo: Why is the old man here?

Endeavor: I'll leave soon, Natsuo. But, this is an issue about Rei's past with Young Midoriya.

Rei: Okay, fine! I favored Bakugo because he had a Quirk! Izuku didn't and I was...haaa...It's complicated.

Inko: You're...Quirkist?

Rei: No! It's complicated, Inko! I really mean it! I never meant to be that rude to Izuku back then!

Izuku: You did sound like you were pitying me when you gave me that piece of candy.

Shoto: Mother! All this time?

Endeavor: And I thought I valued high powered Quirks...

Hanzo: Genji, I am glad you looked after Young Dragon after that incident.

Genji: Helps I had a real sword to remind people to be 'generous' to children.

Izuku: Uncle Gen...

Inko: I think I may have to reschedule our tea time, Rei.

Rei: Inko! I'm sorry! My family has emphasized Quirks since I was a child. It's hard to let go of old histories.

Natsuo: MOM?!

Fuyumi: Mother? Why would you be so mean?

Rei: I don't know why I was that way...I just...

Endeavor: Given how at the time, you were dealing with my...behavior...It's possible the stress caused her to slip up this once?

Ochako: That's NO EXCUSE! Deku will be the REAL Number One Hero!

Rei: But...He's Quirkless still right?

Izuku: Oh ho ho...Not even close.

Rei: Watch that mouth of yours, young man!

Inko: No...Continue, son.

Rei: O_O.

Hisashi: My boy was chosen by

All Might: I HAVE CHOSEN YOUNG MIDORIYA AS MY APPRENTICE AND SUCCESSOR! He will be come a fine Hero!

Rei: I feel like I missed something here.

Endeavor: Rei...There appears to be some misinformation. Midoriya has a very peculiar late-blooming Quirk. One that gives intense strength, black whip like abilities and the ability to float.

Rei: Now I feel guilty. I should have realized the boy would have a splendid

Izuku: I was born Quirkless! My Quirk was given to me.

Ochako: Should we be telling everyone this?!

Rei: I don't get the context and won't argue. I need to make amends, both to my children and to my friends' children.

Izuku: I'll take a sorry and leave it at that.

Ochako: You're a saint, Deku.

Melissa: Yup.

Kirishima: He's a man's man!

Eri: Papa is super nice!

Hanzo: I forget, who's this 'Eri'?

Genji: {Picture of himself and Eri} The little girl here.

Izuku: WAIT?! HOW?!

Genji: Ninja.

Izuku: Oh right.

Hanzo: Cyborg Ninja.

Rei: I'm going to need a LOT of explanations.

Endeavor: Same here.


	22. What's Shimada With You?...Oh god why?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class 1-A decides to ask the Shimada brothers some questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May be a short chapter. Sorry!

_**Class 1-A opened new chat room:** _

_**Tenya Iida invited classmates to Chat Room:** _

_**Hanzo and Genji entered the chat.** _

Izuku: What the? A new chat room?

Tenya: Yes...Last chat room was a little...dramatic.

Ochako: Gotta agree with Iida. It got a bit deep with what happened between you and Todoroki's mom.

Izuku: To be fair, I was about 5 at the time. I'm over it, honestly.

Melissa: I doubt that. You brought it up that she gave you ONE piece of candy for Halloween!

Tsuyu: Yeah...that's a deep cut for a kid.

Izuku: Kacchan gave me half his box in candy after that!

Bakugo: Yer welcome, nerd.

Hanzo: I must admit, little dragon...I don't understand the appeal of this 'American' holiday.

Genji: Says the cowboy wannabe.

Hanzo: I AM A RONIN, YOU POWER RANGERS KNOCK OFF!

Genji: Whatever.

Koji: Is everything alright again?

Ojiro: Yeah, drama over?

Izuku: Yes.

Shoto: I am sorry for what happened back then.

Izuku: It's cool. I'm remembering more about it now. Remember that picture of me and Uncle Gen in Power Rangers outfits?

Genji: Good times. You were really good that day.

Izuku: We went back to that house...I mean, your house.

Genji: Oh yeah! I remember. She gave you a dozen candy bars that time.

Shoto: How?!

Genji: She couldn't see Midoriya's face under that helmet. Plus I...heard about the year before and brandished my sword a little...

Shoto: You brandished what?

Izuku: Oh god, I remember that. You were flourishing your wakizashi...UNCLE GEN! I GOTTA APOLOGIZE TO MRS. TODOROKI!

Genji: To be fair, no one messes with my family.

Hanzo: You could have gotten into a LOT of trouble for that, brother. What if she called the police on you?

Genji: I assume she thought my sword was part of the costume. Besides, I didn't threaten her with it. I was messing with it! Performed some sword dancing tricks to make her give our little wyrmling some sweet Halloween loot.

Bakugo: Okay...let's get off this drama train. Since you both are here...Maybe we can ask some questions to you guys?

Genji/Hanzo: Nani?

Denki: I got a question for Genji!

Genji: Oh joy, the electric _mook_. Let's hear it, _blondie_.

Denki: I've seen pictures of you during your **Blackwatch** days. _Dark_ cyborg stuff. When did you upgrade to look like you do _now_?

Genji: Holy shit! That's a decent question from a dope.

Jirou: Hey! My BF. Only _I_ get to give him shit. But yeah, good question, Jamming Yay!

Denki: Thanks?

Genji: It was sometime after Overwatch and Blackwatch fell apart. Commander Reyes offered to have me join some new organization he was still working on naming. I decided to follow Angela's suggestion and do some soul searching. Led me to the Omnic Temple in the Shambali Monastery in Nepal. It's where I met my teacher, Zenyatta.

Denki: Cool! Wait...There's a temple in Nepal full of robots?

Genji: OMNICS, you child.

Denki: Sorry.

Hanzo: I assume they upgraded your form to be more...friendly?

Genji: No. Angela found me at the temple. Apparently, Zenyatta thought it was a good idea to invite her to help me with my cybernetics.

Izuku: And?

Genji: And what?

Hanzo: ...Genji...

Genji: OKAY FINE! It was to help me with my...issues.

Hanzo: Good dumb-dumb.

Genji: Shut it, John Wayne.

Kirishima: Hey, Hanzo.

Hanzo: Call me Master Shimada.

Izuku: Uncle Han...

Hanzo: Fine! Yes...Red one?

Kirishima: What happened to you after Genji joined Overwatch. Also...How DID he end up with cyborg parts?

Hanzo: First question: I left the Shimadas to deal with my guilt over Genji and my...debate over how he should handle himself in the family. Second Question: I'm NOT getting into it.

Genji: Bitch, you cut me in half, you don't get to hide that.

Sero: Holy shit!

Tenya: Language.

Genji: Young metal legged boy...HOW OLD ARE YOU?

Tenya: 17 years old. Why?

Genji: Say a curse word.

Tenya: WHAT?!

Ochako: OH HO!

Izuku: Seriously, Gen?

Genji: More serious than Hanzo with sake.

Hanzo: Excuse me for being a connoisseur of good sake.

Genji: Inko's sake is best on Earth and you fucking know it!

Hanzo: Never disagreed with that woman's ability to make some damn good sake.

Izuku: Should I try sake?

Hanzo: Not until you're legally able to drink alcohol, wyrmling.

Izuku: Hmph!

Eri and Melissa have entered the chat.

Eri: Papa! Grandma Inko says we're gonna go to her place for a 'family dinner'?

Ochako: Are me and Melissa invited?

Melissa: Yup! Along with Uncle Hanzo and Uncle Genji!

Genji: Ahhh...Just like the old days. Now we can embarrass our little wyrmling until morning.

Izuku: I got Dr. Ziegler on speed dial.

Genji: ...Mother fucker.

Hanzo: Ouch. Wait...How the hell do you have Genji's personal doctor on YOUR phone?

Ochako: Good question. Deku?

Melissa: Mido...

Izuku: Recovery Girl.

Ochako:

Melissa:

Hanzo: Who?

Izuku: MY personal doctor.

Genji: In hindsight, that would make some sense.

Bakugo: HA!

Ochako: Why didn't I think Recovery Girl would have the Shimada...Wait...Why does SHE have it then?

Mina: That's a good thing to ask.

Momo: Indeed. Midoriya?

Izuku: Mom gave Recovery Girl medical contacts after we told her about my Quirk. Mom has the number.

Genji: THAT JUST RAISES FURTHER QUESTIONS! How does she know my doctor?

**_Mercy has entered the chat!_ **

Genji: WHAT?!

Mercy: I couldn't get into contact with you, Genji. So, I contacted your closest relatives. When I couldn't reach your cousin...I contacted his wife. Hello, young Midoriya. Pleased to meet you and your friends!

Izuku: Should I call you Auntie Angela? Or just Dr. Ziegler. Or Aunt Mercy?

Mercy: It's fine, young Midoriya. Anything will do.

Genji: So...YOU CALLED LADY INKO...Japan's greatest treasure in this fucked up life of mine...to give her your CONTACT NUMBER? WHY?!

Mercy: Genji...Your life is NOT messed up. For all the cyborg parts in your body, remember what you STILL have.

Genji: You know I remember that, Angel.

Mineta: I got a question for Genji!

Mina: Oh no, I know where this leads.

Ojiro: DUDE! Don't!

Mineta: Imma ask him.

Shouji: Don't you do it.

Mineta: Imma do it.

Aoyama: Oh merde. Nos excuses, M. Genji.

Mineta: DO YOU STILL HAVE A

Genji: Nani?

Izuku: Problem dealt with.

Hanzo: How?

Izuku: I reminded him of the pecking order the Midoriya-Shimadas have.

Hanzo: Good boy.

Ochako: There's a pecking order.

Hanzo: Little known rule. Inko or any wife...TOPS the list. That's why I'm not married. Nor Genji.

Genji: I assume he was going to ask if I still had a penis.

Class 1-A: FUCK!

Genji: What? It's not that bad to ask. I've been asked it many times. I just roll with it.

Ojiro: Seriously?

Genji: Oh yes. Point of fact. I still have one. Thanks to Dr. Ziegler.

Mercy: Gerne Schatz.

Genji: I thought you were still angry at me for what I said to you.

Mercy: I've been trying to reach out to you to talk about that. And I apologize for it.

Eri: What did you do to Uncle Gen?

Mercy: I um...Who is this?

Eri: Eri!

Izuku: She's a little girl our class looks after. I'm the...closest she refers to as a Dad.

Ochako: Melissa and I are like her mothers. Don't question this.

Melissa: Yup.

Bakugo: Stopped tryna figure out the nerd's shit month ago. How the fucker gets two girls in bed and somehow has Pro Heroines pining for his ass worries me.

Mercy:

Mercy: Note to self...schedule visit to UA. For Sexual Education Safety courses.

Genji: ANGELA! They're safe. I can assure you.

Mercy: Given YOUR history before we started out?! Better safe than sorry, du spastischer ninja voll!

Hanzo: Ouch. And I know Genji's love life.

Izuku: So do I and I'm nowhere near that crazy for that many people pining. Two lovers is already pushing it for me.

Mina: Ahem?

Izuku: You dumped me for Kirishima. Remember? And I honestly ship you BOTH!

Kirishima: Awww...Thanks man!

Izuku: No problem.

Mina: Yeah, just remember, I was the first GF you had. Ochako was second and Melissa was third.

Izuku:

Izuku:

Mina: What?

Izuku: Mina...RUN! Ochako and Melissa are headed your way!

Mina: WHAT?!

Tooru: You bragged about being Deku's first GF. Ochako was still pining. And jealousy is a prbefedfm///

Ojiro: TOORU?!

Melissa: Hacked Tooru's phone.

Ojiro: WHY?!

Melissa: Was going for Mina but Tooru's name blocked it. I'll fix it.

Mina: HOLY CRAP! CHAKO'S ATTACKING MY DOOR! KIRI! SAVE YOUR WAIFU!

Genji: This went somewhere I wasn't expecting.

Hanzo: Better or worse than your romantic adventures?

Genji: Given the number of women I upset back then...this is a less dangerous option.

Mina: OCHAKO! I'M SORRY! REMEMBER YOU STILL HAD DEKU'S FIRST TIME! I NEVER GOT THAT! Just because I dated him first doesn't mean anything! C'MON! DON'T YEET ME INTO SPACE!

Izuku: Ochako! Stop! Let it go! No, not HER!

Ochako: I'll let it go when I yeet yer into orbit!

Eri: MAMA! STOP! Don't hurt AUNTIE MINA!

Izuku: Don't make use the big guns!

Melissa: Big guns?!...NO!

Ochako: You wouldn't dare!

Kirishima: DEKU-BRO! USE THE NUCLEAR OPTION! SAVE MY BAE-SHIDO!

Izuku: *Ahem*...

Izuku: Eri...Come here please.

Eri: Oh? Okay!

Genji/Mercy/Hanzo: Wha?

Izuku: **[Posts image of Eri and Izuku hugging each other and giving the biggest, most adorable puppy dog eyed pout ever! Text under it says "Please forgive Mina"]**

Ochako: GRRRK! MY ULTIMATE WEAKNESS!

Melissa: ANGER MELTING! RAGE SUBSIDING...

Genji: The nuclear option. I never taught him this trick. Fucking hell, it's adorable and evil! Well played.

Hanzo: Weaponizing his adorableness and his 'daughter's' cuteness. Truly, a Shimada-Midoriya-Akatani specialty.

Mina: I LIVE!

Kirishima: Thanks, Midoriya!

Izuku: (Thumb's Up Emoji).

Ochako: Sorry...Just...got a little...triggered.

Melissa: Yeah.

Mina: A LITTLE?!

Jirou: Mina, you'll set her off again. Just drop it.

Momo: I have a question for Mr. Hanzo, if that's alright. Anything to get rid of the drama.

Hanzo: Please.

Momo: Why...did you try to kill Genji?

Hanzo: We grew up in a Yakuza. Genji was living a 'care-free' lifestyle. I, as the older brother, had to keep with responsibilities. Father accepted Genji's frivolous nature and let him be care-free. The other elders didn't like it. I was beholden to either correct Genji's behavior or deal with him.

Genji: And we all KNOW how that ends up. Bastard.

Mercy: Don't start another fight.

Shoto: How often do you visit Midoriya's family for?

Genji: Quite often. Since my repairs and my reunion with Hanzo. Not gonna elaborate there. Inko is a treasure.

_**Inko and Hisashi entered the chat.** _

Inko: Thank you, Genji!

Hisashi: Thanks a bunch, cousin!

Genji: Dōitashimashite, itoko.

Hanzo: Same.

Izuku: Is there anyone else coming to dinner, Mom?

Inko: Actually, yes!

Shoto: Oh lord...Mom just texted me to get my best shirt ready...Don't tell me.

Inko: I invited Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki to dinner at the apartment. Aunt Rumi will be there along with Fuyumi and her boyfriend and Natsuo and his girlfriend. Also, young Todoroki can bring his girlfriend.

Ochako: HOW BIG IS YOUR APARTMENT AGAIN?!

Hisashi: No, we're going to my apartment. At the SHIELD Japanese apartment complex. Think 10 Star Hotel.

Izuku: Oh find me in the Alps, Dad...

Hisashi: What? What did I do?

Izuku: The SHIELD visiting apartment complex?!

Momo: This will be quite the sight.

Hanzo: Are you still bringing?

Inko: Yes, Han. I have the sake on tap for you.

Hanzo: Heavenly.

Angela: I'm also in Japan, actually for an Overwatch Japanese branch opening. May I be Genji's 'Plus One'?

Inko: Oh, Angela! Sure!

Genji: Oh! I brought some gear for my little nephew. It's armor to add on for the arms and legs of your 'Hero Costume'. Omnic enhanced plating.

Melissa: Good god! Deku...I'm upgrading the absolute heavens out of that suit. First we got the armor from SHIELD...now Omnic plating?! I'm in techno-heaven!

**Mei has entered the chat!**

Mei: SAVE SOME PLATING FOR ME! I can upgrade Tennie's suit with it.

Melissa: I'll see what I can do.

Tenya: Upgrade my suit?! WHY?!

Mei: No offense, babe...it's bulky as hell. The plating for Omnics is slim but HIGHLY durable. I mean; look at the Omnics in Nepal! Their armor is thin but they can tank a lot.

Genji: Not really.

Mei: How so?

Genji: MONDATTA would have words if he was still functional.

Hanzo: I recall Lena feeling very guilty about not stopping that sniper from taking the shot.

Genji: Lena has felt guilty about that incident for a while. Zenyatta and I already know it was a split decision. I'm glad she's still alive.

Hanzo: Indeed.

Mineta: Can I get an autogra

Genji: No. She's not going to sign a picture of herself and her girlfriend for you.

Izuku: Oh thank god...

Inko: Well...

Izuku: Mom?

Inko: If we're going to Hisashi's big apartment...why not bring all of Class 1-A and their Plus Ones over?

Hisashi: A class dinner at SHIELD? Well, Cap's been curious to see UA's big class. Sure!

Izuku: Oh hell...

Bakugo: This is gonna be chaos!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, what's the right way to Tenya's last name. I see people put it as I-I-D-A... But now I see on the official wikis that it's just I-D-A. The hell?!  
> Should I add Overwatch to the tags or leave 'em out?
> 
> Not sure if Mercy speaks German or Swedish but fuck it:  
> Gerne Schatz: Thank you my love.  
> Du spastischer ninja voll: You spastic ninja fool.
> 
> And the japanese phrase: Dōitashimashite, itoko - You're welcome, cousin.


	23. Crackshot Chatfic History Part 1! Because it's been a while for me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick recap for anyone who's confused by the full story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while. Let me do this!

The Crackshot Chatfic has quite a bit of history for this so let me make a historical recap of this AU.

  * The Midoriya-Akatani combined family is related to the Shimada family. Genji and Hanzo are related to Hisashi Akatani, as his cousins.
  * Inko Midoriya is related to Rumi 'Miruko' Usagiyama as cousins, herself.
  * Hisashi Midoriya works for **SHIELD** as a Project Accountant. He has had SHIELD combat training. And like father, like son, he is a _major_ lady's man. Way better than his son. But, Izuku will be a ladykiller when he hits his father's age. (Trust me.)
  * Hisashi, despite the _harem_ of beautiful adult women his age with some who became Pro Heroes (Pussycats, Rei, Mitsuki, Ryukyu, Mt. Lady), he picked Inko because she just appealed to him specifically.
  * Inko ALSO is close friends with Mitsuki and Rei. Together, they fight crime--Bullies. Enji attempted to court Inko, but lost her to Hisashi.
  * All Might met and crushed on Inko. But, never proceeded due to All For One's actions.
  * Genji used to take Izuku out for Halloween. Usually in Power Rangers or Ninja type costumes.
  * Hanzo secretly has a fandom for Cowboys.
  * Genji is a massive Sentai fanboy (naturally).
  * Overwatch history has happened primarily until Overwatch and Blackwatch's fall.
  * Mitsuki keeps tabs on Bakugo through Izuku.
  * Izuku starts dating Mina mid-way through 2-A's first semester. Mostly just hanging out. Uraraka feels rather concerned about it.
  * Kirishima and Bakugo are dating. Clarifying: Both are trying out if they're compatible.
  * Midoriya's notes get found by Mineta, who gets them destroyed by Bakugo over the tabs his mother has with Midoriya.
  * Mineta is expelled from UA. Shinsou replaces him in class. Mineta joins the League of Villains and makes a Perverted Prankster Squad of sorts.
  * Shinsou introduces Midoriya to Gunpla. Currently kitbashing models to resemble his friends.
  * Uraraka is asked out by Deku after the incident reveals her crush on him. Izuku-Ochako-Mina become a polyamorous couple.
  * Momo reveals that she and Jirou are bisexual.
  * Todoroki is revealed to be crushing on Yaoyorozu.
  * Kaminari reveals a crush on Jirou. He's insecure about the relationship since she likes Momo too.
  * Miruko reveals her relation to Midoriya, confusing everyone.
  * One For All is revealed to Class 1/2-A, Aizawa and Inko.
  * Mina leaves Deku and Uraraka for Kirishima after he splits from Bakugo. All leavings are amicable and Bakugo still binge watches Mecha anime and Kengan Asura with Kirishima.
  * Various couples join.
  * Melissa becomes part of the Deku/Uraraka love trio. Eri is 'adopted' as the collective daughter.
  * Inko has a massive network of information with Class 1/2-A's parents.
  * Endeavor finds out about Midoriya's link to Hisashi (fear ensues).
  * Midoriya finds out he has a 'Protection Squad' in his name. Kirishima has one too, funnily enough.
  * Monoma insults Uraraka. Pain ensues for his existence ;).
  * More for another recap later.



**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If things are out of order, I apologize. It's been a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Chat names subject to change as story progresses


End file.
